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传说魔法已经在我们世界消失 It has been said that magic vanished from our world
很久了 a long time ago,
人类也因此不能再通过 and that humanity can no longer fulfill its desires
愿望之力来满足欲望 through the power of wishes.
对于那些失去孩童眼中神奇视界的人 To those who have lost the wondrous vision of childhood eyes,
这里要讲的是一个小男孩的故事 submitted here is the story of a little boy
和永远改变他一生的神奇圣诞愿望 and a magical Christmas wish that changed his life for ever.
那是1985年 在波士顿郊外的一个小镇 It began in 1985, in a town just outside Boston,
旁白是英国演员Patrick Stewart 演过《星际迷航》 为本片导演的另一部动画《美国老爹》配音
圣诞前夕 所有的孩子都兴高采烈 it was Christmas Eve and all the children were in high spirits.
一年之中的特殊时刻 That special time of year,
波士顿的孩子们聚在一起 痛扁犹太小孩 when Boston children gather together and beat up the Jewish kids.
喂 鼻涕虫 Hey, Dripoon!
我日 Oh-Em
抓住他 Get him!
不过有一个孩子可没这么好的兴致 But there was one child who wasn't in such good spirits,
小约翰·伯奈特 little John Bennett.
每处街坊都有这样一个男孩 That one boy in every neighborhood
苦于交友障碍 who just has a tough time making friends.
伙计们 我能一起玩吗 Hey guys, can I play?
快走开 伯奈特 Get out of here, Bennett!
滚开 伯奈特 Get lost, Bennett!
快滚开 伯奈特 Get out of here, Bennett!
是啊 伯奈特 快滚 Yeah, Bennett, get lost!
约翰满心期盼着 John longed, with all his heart,
能够交到一个真心实意的好朋友 for that one true friend that he could call his own.
而且他知道 一旦他找到了那个朋友 And he knew that, if he ever found that friend,
他绝不会错过他 he would never let him go.
像每年一样 Well, as it does every year,
圣诞的清晨终于来到了 Christmas morning finally came.
所有的孩子带着节日的喜悦打开了礼物 All the children were opening their gifts with holiday glee.
对于小约翰·伯奈特 And for little John Bennett,
圣诞节带给他一位非常特别的新朋友 Christmas day brought a very special new arrival.
哇 Wow!
我看圣诞老人注意到你今年的表现有多好了 是吧 I guess Santa paid attention to how good you were this year, huh?
饰演老妈的是《恶搞之家》中为Lois配音的Alex Borstein
圣诞快乐 约翰 Merry Christmas, John.
我爱你 I love you!
他说话了 我要给你起名叫泰迪 He talks! I'm gonna name you Teddy
约翰很快就离不开泰迪了 John became instantly attached to Teddy.
那只小熊不知怎么的 There was something about that bear
让他感觉仿佛自己终于找到了朋友 that made him feel as if he finally had a friend
能够分享内心最深处秘密的朋友 with whom he could share his deepest secrets.
我爱你 I love you!
我也爱你 泰迪 I love you too, Teddy.
其实 我真希望你能跟我聊天 You know, I wish you could really talk to me.
因为那样我们会永远做最好的朋友 Because then we could be best friends for ever and ever!
至少有件事你可以确信了 Now if there's one thing you can be sure of,
没什么能比一个小男孩的心愿更强大 it's that nothing's more powerful than a young boy's wish.
除了阿帕奇直升机 Except an Apache helicopter.
阿帕奇直升机装备有机枪和导弹 An Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles,
是一件难以置信地震撼人心的兵器杰作 it is an unbelievably impressive compliment of weaponry,
彻头彻尾的大杀器 an absolute death machine.
好吧 看来约翰选了绝佳的一晚来许愿 Well, as it turned out John picked a perfect night to make a wish.
泰迪 Teddy?
抱抱我 Hug me!
你是我最好的朋友 约翰 You're my best friend, John.
你是…你是不是刚说话了 Did you...did you just talk?
别那么惊讶嘛 是你自己许了这个愿 对不对 Don't looks so surprised. You're the one who wished for it, aren't you?
嗯 我确实许了这个愿 Yeah. I did wish for it.
是呀 所以我来了 Well, here I am.
你是说 我们真要成为最好的朋友了吗 You mean, we get to be best friends for real?
真的 For real.
永远永远吗 For ever and ever?
我觉得不错 Sounds good to me.
约翰那会儿成了世上最开心的孩子 John was just about the happiest boy in the world,
他迫不及待要告诉每个人这个好消息 and he couldn't wait to tell everyone the good news.
妈妈 爸爸 你们猜怎么了 Mom, dad, guess what?
我的泰迪熊活了 My Teddy Bear's alive!
哟 那可是激动人心啊 Really? Well, isn't that exciting.
不 妈妈 他真的活过来了 看 No, mom, he's really alive! Look!
大家圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas, everybody!
操了个大血逼 Jesus H fuck!
咱们都做好朋友吧 Let's all be best friends!
- 老天呐 天呐 - 约翰 离那个东西远点 - Oh, my God! Oh God! - John, get away from that thing.
到这儿来 快点 Get over here! Right now!
- 可是爸爸 - 到这儿来 - But dad! - Get over here!
听你爸的 快过来 Listen to your father! Come over here!
海伦 拿我的枪来 Helen, get my gun!
爸爸 不 Dad! No!
是一把"拥抱枪"吗 Is it a hugging gun?
海伦 拿我的枪来 快报警 Helen, get my gun and call the police!
实在抱歉 伯奈特先生 I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett.
我并没想吓到任何人 I didn't mean to scare anybody.
我只是想和约翰交朋友 I just wanted John and I to be friends.
是啊 爸爸 我昨晚许了个愿 让泰迪活过来 Yeah, dad. I made a wish last night that Teddy was alive.
我的愿望成真了 My wish came true!
我的天呐 真是奇迹 Oh, my God! It's a miracle.
真是圣诞节奇迹 It's a Christmas miracle.
你就像圣子耶稣 You're just like the baby Jesus.
没过多久… Well, it wasn't long before the story of ...
约翰的"小奇迹"故事就传遍了全国 John's little miracle was sweeping the nation.
在波士顿郊外发生了一件 Out of a Boston suburb comes what is
无疑是最令人难以置信的事 without a doubt the most incredible story.
一个小男孩的动物填充玩具神奇地 A young boy's stuffed animal has magically
因为某种未知原因活了过来 come to life for as yet unknown reasons.
看看耶稣的神迹啊 Look what Jesus did!
不久 泰迪就凭借自身成了大名人 Before long, Teddy had become a huge celebrity in his own right.
你好 泰迪 Hello, Teddy.
你…你…真让我意外 You...you uh... surprise me.
NBC当家脱口秀《The Tonight Show》 曾由Johnny Carson主持(1962-1992)
我…不知为何 还以为你会更高一点 I...for some reason I thought you were going to be taller.
我还以为你会更风趣一点 I thought you were going to be funnier.
此说是因为Johnny曾获"美国喜剧奖之最风趣男艺人"(1987)
尽管名满天下 But through all the fame,
泰迪从没忘记他最好的朋友 约翰 Teddy never forgot his very best friend, John.
雷电伤不到我们 对吧 The thunder can't get us, right?
嗯 我们可是雷友 雷电很清楚 Nope. We're thunder buddies, and the thunder knows it.
我们绝对安全 We're totally safe.
泰迪 Teddy?
怎么了 约翰 Yeah, John?
你能答应我们永远在一起吗 Do you promise we'll always be together?
我答应 一辈子的雷友 I promise. Thunder buddies for life.
一辈子的雷友 Thunder buddies for life.
这个约定他俩都不曾忘记 And that was a promise that neither one of them ever forgot.
那么 如今的约翰和泰迪又在哪里呢 So, where are John and Teddy today?
嗯 让我这么说吧 Well, let me put it this way.
不管你在世上掀起多大的波澜 No matter how big a splash you make in this world,
不管你是科里·费尔德曼 弗兰奇·莫尼兹 贾斯汀·比伯 whether you're a Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber
都是美国演员兼歌手
还是一只会说话的泰迪熊 最终都不会有人鸟你 or a talking Teddy Bear, eventually nobody gives a shit.
百度familyguy吧倾情奉献 《恶搞之家》导演年度爆笑喜剧
* 我已无力吐槽 * * My words are lazy *
* 我已头晕脑胀 * * My thoughts are hazy *
* 不过有件事我能确信 * * But this is one thing I'm sure of *
* 人人都需要挚友 * * Everybody needs a best friend *
* 我乐意做你那个 * * I'm happy I'm yours *
泰迪熊
* 损友与你成一对 * * You got a double *
* 带来麻烦数不清 * * Who brings you trouble *
* 虽然没了我 你会更好 * * And though you're better without me *
* 可人人都需要挚友 * * Everybody needs a best friend *
* 我乐意做你那个 * * I'm happy I'm yours *
* 傻瓜也能看分明 * * A fool could see decidedly *
* 你十岁时我三岁 * * That you're a ten and I'm a three *
* 你要泡的是白富美 * * A royal brie is what you need *
* 怎么和我这样的无赖终日厮混 * * So how did you come to be stuck with a bummer like me *
[机场搜查 昔日名人身藏致幻蘑菇被捕]
* 你满脑子都是某个糟糕的人 * * Oh you got a head full of someone dreadful *
* 可那人偏偏爱慕你 * * But how that someone adores you *
* 人人都需要挚友 * * Everybody needs a best friend *
* 我乐意做你那个 * * I'm happy I'm yours *
[正在上映《星球大战:魅影危机》]
* 傻瓜也能看分明 * * A fool could see decidedly *
* 你十岁时我三岁 * * That you're a ten and I'm a three *
* 你要泡的是白富美 * * A royal brie is what you need *
* 怎么和我这样的无赖终日厮混 * * So how did you come to be stuck with a bummer like me *
* 你满脑子都是某个糟糕的人 * * Oh you got a head full of dreadful *
* 可至少那人爱慕你 * * And yet lest that someone adores you *
* 人人都需要挚友 * * Everybody needs a best friend *
* 我乐意做你那个 * * I'm happy I'm yours! *
* 我只是个粗人 * * I'm just a clown, and *
* 我会让你不开心 * * I'll bring you down *
* 不过你不会介意 * * But you just don't care 'cause *
* 因为你的挚友是我 * * Your best friend is me! *
问我敢不敢看那钟 Do I dare look at the clock?
我要说的就是 波士顿的女人们 Look, all I'm sayin' is that Boston women are,
大体上比别处生活的女人… on the whole, a paler, uglier sort ...
要更苍白 更丑陋 than women from the elsewhere's of life.
胡说八道 那萝瑞呢 她挺性感 That's bullshit. What about Lori? She's hot.
不 萝瑞来自宾夕法尼亚 她不是波士顿女孩 No, Lori is from Pennsylvania. That's not a Boston girl.
她们没那么烂 They're not that bad.
看 如果你只能说: See, the fact that you have to say;
"她们没那么烂" 也就意思是"她们就那么烂" 'they're not that bad', means that they are that bad.
你听过波士顿女孩来高潮时的声音吗 Did you ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm?
哦 呀 哦 呀 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
大列 大列点 Harder! Harder!
天呐 爽死了 Oh, God! That was so good!
现在我要把脸埋进"非凡农庄"的面包里了 Now I'm gonna stuff my fuckin' face with Pepperidge Farm!'
我去 真是弱爆了 Jesus, this is weak!
这都没法让我嗨起来 It's not even gettin' me high.
看来我得跟我的大麻贩子好好谈谈了 I think I'm gonna have a talk with my weed guy.
我觉得还行啊 It's workin' for me.
我觉得烂透了 我要跟他谈一谈 I think it sucks, I'm gonna have a talk with him.
我不认为你能找毒贩子去理论 I don't know that you wanna go to a drug dealer with complaints.
不 我认识这家伙很久了 No, I've known this guy a long time.
从9/11那会儿就认识他了 I've known him since 9/11.
你还记得吗 Do you remember?
我记得好像是 "哎我靠 9/11 我得提提神" I was like; 'Oh, shit, 9/11. I gotta get high.'
是不是九点半了 Is it nine thirty?
嗯 Yeah.
靠 我得去上班了 Shit! I gotta get to work!
我不知道自己还能不能开车 I don't know if I can drive!
没关系 我来开 嗯 我感觉不错 It's okay, I'll drive. Yeah, I feel fine.
操 Fuck!
妈逼的 Oh, shit!
我擦 Oh, man!
唉 乔尼 真对不起 老兄 Oh, Johnny. I'm sorry, man.
那…那车不知道哪儿冒出来的 That...that car just came out of nowhere.
天呐 严重吗 Oh, God! Is it bad?
我去 Oh, man!
约翰 我能跟你谈谈话吗 John, May I speak with you, please?
操 Shit!
没关系的 去吧去吧 我会把车开走 It's alright. Go! Go! Go! I'll pull out here.
嗨 汤玛斯 你好吗 Hi, Thomas! How are you?
混球 Asshole!
是我的错 我在发推特 That's my bad. I was sending a tweet.
约翰 都快十点了 John, it's almost ten o'clock.
我知道先生 很抱歉 可不能怪我 I know, sir. I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault.
什么意思 What do you mean?
呃 我…我没想到你又接着问了一句 Well, I...I guess I wasn't really prepared for a follow up question.
约翰 你可不能瞎闯祸 John, all you gotta do is not fuck up,
我下个月调去总公司 你要接替我的职位 and you get my job when I got to corporate next month.
你是新的分店经理 你千万别惹乱子 You're the new branch manager, all you gotta do is not fuck up.
我知道了 I realize that.
嗯 听你这么说就好 Good. Glad to hear it.
因为一个月后 我的生活就是你的生活 Cause in a month, my life could be your life.
一个工作轻松 年薪三万八的分店经理 A cushy, thirty eight thousand dollar a year branch manager,
还能跟汤姆·斯凯里特攀上私交 who's personal friends with Tom Skerritt.
美国老牌男演员 作品有《壮志凌云》《陆军野战医院》等
不错的生活啊 是不是 Not a bad life, is it?
嗯 No.
我想给你看样东西 I wanna show you something'.
一般人我不给他看 I don't like to show people,
因为我不想让他们对我另眼相看 cause I don't want them treatin' me differently.
哈 是我和斯凯里特 Boh! That's me and Skerritt.
哇 Wow!
吃惊就对了 Goddamn right, wow.
今天我就不计较你刮坏了车 I'm gonna dock you for dingin' the car
上班迟到 明白了吗 and for showin' up late today, alright?
从明天起稍微有点责任感 Try and be a little more responsible tomorrow.
我会的 先生 我保证 I will, sir. I promise.
我不会让你失望的 "老鹅" I'm not gonna let you down, Goose.
什么 What?
《壮志凌云》 Top Gun.
然后呢 So?
汤姆·斯凯里特 Tom Skerritt.
我当然知道 快出去 好吗 I know that. Get out of here, okay?
谢谢 先生 Thank you, sir.
好的 这是你们的钥匙 Alright, here's your keys.
帕特里克·沃伯顿 《恶搞之家》中Joe的配音
租赁协议 免费附送的波士顿地图 rental agreement, complimentary map of Boston.
感谢你们选择"自由租车行" 注意安全驾驶 Thank you for choosing Liberty. Drive safely
- 谢谢 - 非常感谢 - Thanks. - Thanks so much!
听说你被老板骂了 Hear you got busted.
哎哟 盖伊 你这气色太差了 怎么回事 Jesus, Guy! You look like shit, man! What happened?
我也不知道 我昨晚醉得像摊屎 I don't know. I got fuckin' wasted last night,
呃…手机显示我在三点一刻给某人发过短信 and uh...my phone says I texted someone at three fifteen
叫他们来揍我一顿 然后么…在四点半 askin' 'em to beat me up. And then uh...at four thirty,
我给同一个人发了短信说"谢谢" I texted the same person saying 'Thanks'.
你都不记得了吗 You don't remember it?
不记得 就跟上次一样 No, same as the last time.
感觉上有点基 有木有 It just seems kind of gay, doesn't it?
我不知道 也许吧 I don't know, maybe, yeah.
呃 你有没有觉得自己卷进了同性虐恋之类的地下圈子 Well, do you think you're part of some like gay beat-up underworld?
比如那些同性虐恋会所什么的 Like one of those gay beat-up clubs or somethin'?
我不知道 我可是泡妞的 老弟 I don't know. I dig chicks, man.
我一点都不记得了 我状态糟透了 I don't remember any of it, I was so fucked up.
我也许是基佬吧 谁知道呢 I might be gay, I don't know.
哎 麻烦你替我照应一会儿好吗 Hey, do you mind covering for me for a bit?
我可能要去厕所里眯一会儿 I might go lay down in the John.
你们俩好啊 又去哪儿快活了 Hey you buddies! Where's it hanging?
嗨艾利克斯 怎么样 昨晚去那家俱乐部了吗 Hey Alex, What's up? You got to the club last night?
呵… 他们都没让我进去 门卫就一副臭脸 Huh ... They didn't get me in because the bouncer was douche face.
不过我排队的时候交了朋友 But I make friends in the line.
那我觉得也不错 That's good, I guess.
哎 各位 谁能推荐个好餐厅 Hey, guys, anybody know a nice restaurant?
比如那种在厕所里会免费分发"泡泡糖"的 Like somethin' where they give out free bubble gum in the bathrooms?
指毒品
干嘛呀 For what?
萝瑞和我明天就拍拖四周年了 Lori and I have been datin' for four years tomorrow,
我想带她去一个真正上档次的地方 I wanna take her some place really nice.
哦 恭喜了 约翰 Oh, congratulations, John.
你们俩已经相处四年了啊 You guys have been goin' out for four years?
我上一次约会也就六个月 My last relationship, was like, six months.
她在睡觉的时候放屁 所以我想还是得甩了她 And then she farted in her sleep, I'm like, I'm outta here, man.
我在她醒来前就走了 I was gone before she woke up.
啧 你真是太小心眼了 Boy, You're not very tolerant, huh?
萝瑞在你面前放过屁吗 Lori ever fart in front of you?
当然 Yeah.
真的吗 Really?
是啊 好多次呢 Yeah, many times.
你是意大利人? you italian?
不 怎么了 No. Why?
当我没说 带她去日本红花餐厅 Never Mind. Take her to Benihana.
约翰 听我说 你不觉得相处四年后 John, look, don't you think after four years,
也许她期盼的不仅仅是一顿晚餐 maybe she's hoping for something more than dinner?
比如呢 Like what?
我不好说 不过要是我的话 我会期待一次求婚 I don't know. But if it were me, I'd be expecting a proposal.
啊 得了吧 没人会指望别人求婚 Oh, come on! Nobody's expecting anybody to propose.
我是说 结婚可不是…呃 我是说 爱情还不够吗 I mean, marriage isn't...well, I mean, isn't love enough?
我觉得有爱情就足够了 I assume that love is enough.
你可以把戒指放进她菊花里 让她放屁放出来 You can put the ring in her ass, let her fart it out.
漫画改编的同名科幻电影《飞侠哥顿》(1980)
真是粗制滥造 可又那么经典 So bad, but so good.
哎 对了 提醒我别忘记 Hey, by the way. Don't let me forget that
明晚咱俩可说定要去打保龄 you and I gotta nail down a plan for the bowlings game tomorrow night.
不 我不能去 我要带萝瑞去吃饭 Oh, no. I can't. I'm taking Lori to dinner.
为啥 For what?
呃 明天是我们约会四周年纪念日 Well, we've been datin' four years tomorrow.
呵 放我鸽子 很好 Well, fuck me. Nice.
我来问你一件事 Let me ask you something.
你不会觉得她期望我来个大惊喜 对吧 You don't think she's gonna be expecting something big, do you?
什么 比如玩后庭 What, like anal?
不 比如…给她指头上戴金环 No! Like uh...circular gold thing on her finger?
真鸡巴扯淡 你俩才四年 乔尼 Oh, fuck that! It's been four years, Johnny.
你和我在一起都二十七年了 You and me have been together for twenty seven years.
我的戒指呢 嗯 我的戒指呢 混蛋 Where's my ring? Huh? Where's my ring, asshole?
别闹了 Stop it!
我的戒指呢 狗东西 Where's my ring, motherfucker?
- 得了吧 - 戴在我的毛绒指头上 你这贱逼 快点 - Come on! - Put it on my fuzzy finger, you fuck! Come on!
好吧 好吧 住手吧 Alight! Alright! Knock it off!
好吧 我说着玩的 Alright, I'm just sayin'.
我是说 你觉得她有没有可能 I mean, but do you think she's might
希望我做出那样的举动 be expecting me to make that kind of a move?
不 不 我觉得她不会 No. No, I don't think she is.
不仅如此 而且时机也不好 And not only that, it's the wrong time.
这是个糟糕的主意 我是说你得考虑到经济形势 It's a terrible idea. I mean you got the economy,
你得考虑…信贷泡沫 最高法院 you got the...the credit bubble, the supreme court.
我是说 想想看海地 I mean, look at Haiti?
看来我还是没考虑到这些啊 Hell, I guess I didn't think about that.
嗯 那个…确实是个因素 Well, that's...you know, that's a factor.
你是谁 Who are you?
飞侠哥顿 纽约喷气机队 四分卫 Flash Gordon. Quarterback, New York Jets.
这就是所谓的美国梦啊 This is the American fantasy right here.
一个职业运动员担负起了拯救世界的使命 A professional and a field player is called upon to save the world.
汤姆·布雷迪就能办到 Tom Brady could do that.
著名橄榄球员 新英格兰爱国者队四分卫
汤姆·布雷迪还真能办到 Tom Brady could do that!
嗨 Hey!
- 嗨 亲爱的 - 嗨 萝瑞 - Hey, Sweetie! - Hey, Lori!
你买的什么东西 What do you get there?
火鸡汉堡 Turkey burgers.
哦 火鸡汉堡 Oh, turkey burgers.
这么说今晚我们要请基佬来吃饭了 对不 So are we havin' homosexuals over for dinner, tonight, is it?
火鸡汉堡低热低脂 女士和基佬的最爱
不 就你们俩基佬 No, just you homo.
哇 哇 Woh! Woh!
你差不多照搬了我的笑话 不过…哈 You kind of just reworded my joke, but...ha!
工作怎么样 How's work?
我还好啦 I was fine.
你那个脑残老板呢 How's your dickhead boss?
雷克斯 他还好 他今天就调戏了我一次 所以还算侥幸 Rex, he's fine. He only hit on me once today, so it's a good thing.
哎 乔尼 喝点啤酒怎么样 Hey, Johnny, how about a beer, huh?
唔 要不来两瓶查尔斯·布鲁科斯基 Ooh, couple of Charles Brewkowski's?
布鲁·斯托耶夫斯基 Brew stoievskis's?
要不是迈布鲁格·斯拉夫斯基 Maybe a Mybrewger Slavski?
都是俄罗斯姓氏和"Brew"(啤酒)的组合
或者是泰迪·布鲁斯基 Perhaps a Teddy Brewski?
这个不错 That's a good one.
我倒是也想要一瓶玛蒂娜·纳芙拉蒂布鲁斯基 You know, I think I too want a Martina Navratibrewski.
- 哦 不 不 不 - 这个不行 - 不 别乱讲 不 - Oh, no! No! No! - That doesnt work. - No. Don't ruin it. No.
瞎扯 绝对没说错 Bullshit! That totally worked!
不 不 No. No.
确实没说错 Yeah, it does!
不是这么说滴 It doesn't work.
- 就是这么说的 - 这个名字本身必须以"ski"结尾 - It doesn't work. - A name has to have a 'ski' at the end of it
而你刚把"brewski"加在玛蒂娜·纳芙拉蒂洛娃后面 就是这样 and you just put 'brewski' at the end of Martina Navratilova, so.
美籍捷克裔网球女运动员
好吧 我还以为只是要说有趣的名字 Well, I just thought we were saying funny names.
不 不 必须…必须要自带一个"ski"的结尾 No. No. It has...it has to have a 'ski' at the end of it,
不然的话 哪还有挑战性啊 明白吗 otherwise, where's the challenge? You know?
如果初始词汇的结尾没有"ski" If there's no 'ski' at the end of the root word,
那我们就成了傻逼说瞎话了 then we would just be idiots sayin' nonsense.
失踪的旅行者被找到了 They found the missing hikers.
- 是吗 - 嗯 - They did? - Yeah.
发生什么事了 What happened?
那人说他们走散了 其中一个 He said, they got separated and one of them
脚被卡在岩石下面差不多有五天时间 had his foot stuck under a rock, for like, five days.
- 哇 - 是啊 - Woh! - Mm.
要是你的脚被卡在岩石下面 You know, if your leg got trapped under a rock,
我会咬断它来解救你 I'd chew it off to get you free.
你会吗 You would?
我肯定会 这是不是有点食人倾向 I sure would. Is that cannibalism?
不 我觉得只要没吞下去 就不算食人倾向 No, I think it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
我靠 不可能 别担心 我不会吞下去 Oh, shit! No! Don't worry about that, cause I don't swallow.
真的吗 我听说的可不是这样 Really? Cause that's not what I heard.
才不是呢 我可是有品位的"淑女" Well, it's not true. Okay? I'm a classy broad.
好吧 Yeah.
我看出来了 I could see that.
这样 既然说到了有品位 Listen, speaking of classy.
"奇奥·贝拉"餐厅确实有点贵了 Ciao Bella is a really expensive restaurant,
所以我们明天还是去别处吧 so we can go anywhere else tomorrow.
我真的不在乎 只要我们能在一起 I really don't care, as long as we're together.
你开玩笑吧 不 不 不 Are you kiddin' me? No, no, no!
我们已经相处了四年 Four years we've been goin' out,
我要带你去城里最好的餐馆 I'm takin' you to the best place in town.
我爱你 I love you.
我也爱你 I love you too.
而且你很淫荡 And you're nasty.
想来淫荡一把么 Do you wanna get nasty?
我就…我就不懂了 I don't...I don't understand.
你都三十五岁了 You're 35 years old
还害怕这点小小的雷声吗 and you're still scared of a little thunder?
我没有 I am not!
一辈子的雷友 对吗 乔尼 Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
太他妈对了 Fucking right!
好吧 来 咱们唱雷友之歌 Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
好的 Alright.
* 当你听到雷声 * * When you hear the sound of thunder, *
* 你不要太害怕 * * don't you get too scared. *
* 只要抓紧雷友 * * Just grab your thunder buddy *
* 念出神奇的话 * * and say these magic words; *
* 操你的大雷逼 * * "Fuck you, thunder! *
* 来舔老子的屌 * * You can suck my dick! *
* 老子就不怕你 * * You can't get me, thunder, ' *
* 你就是老天放了个屁 * * cause you're just God's farts!" *
哎 萝瑞 你能不能把闹钟订在上午11点 Hey, Lori, can you set the alarm for 11 a.m.?
我明天还有许多事要做 I got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
- 早上好 萝瑞 - 早上好 - Good morning, Lori. - Good morning.
你没事吧 亲 看起来你有点不在状态 You okay there, sweetheart? You look a little flustered.
我还好 我还好 我只是没时间吃早饭 I'm fine. I'm fine. I just didn't have time for breakfast,
车库又停满了 哦 这都还好 and the garage was full. Oh, and that's right,
可我男朋友听见打雷就睡不着 除非跟着他的泰迪熊 my boyfriend can't sleep through a thunderstorm without his teddy bear.
我就不明白你为什么还要跟他谈朋友 I don't understand why you keep putting up with him.
是啊 我说 他都三十五岁了 Yeah, I mean, the guy's 35
还在租车行里工作 and he's working for a rental car service.
其实吧 真的是 跟那个没有关系 You know, guys, it's really, it's not about that.
我不在乎 我是说 哪怕他是看大门的我都喜欢 I don't care about that. I mean, I'd love him if he was a janitor.
他这人心胸开阔 我们在一起很开心 I mean, he has a huge heart and we laugh a lot.
这是我的福分 有他这样波士顿最性感的男人 It's just a bonus that he's like the hottest guy in Boston.
我只是希望他能同时学会生活 You know, I just wish he'd get his life together.
我们的生活 可是…他不能 Our life! And...and he can't,
我对天发誓 就是因为那只熊 and I swear to God, it is because of that bear.
你应该给他个最后通牒 选你还是选熊 You should give him an ultimatum. It's you or the bear.
不 我不能那么做 那会让他崩溃的 No, I can't do that. That would devastate him.
再说 万一…万一他要是选了泰迪呢 Besides, what...what if he chose Ted?
哎哟 美女们好呀 很抱歉我打断了你们谈论 Well, hello there! Sorry for me interrupting any private girl talk
"姐夫"乔尔·麦克霍尔 《废柴联盟》主演
查宁·塔图姆食指的闺蜜私聊 about Channing Tatum's index finger,
美国演员 性感强壮 出演过《舞出我人生》等
不过萝瑞 我要你去办公室见我 but Lori, I need to see you in my office.
可是雷克斯 我还有许多工作要处理 The thing is Rex, I have a lot of work I to need to get through.
不… 这也是工作 No ... this is work as well.
- 祝你好运 - 谢了 - Good luck! - Thank you.
- 他真是个混蛋 - 无法无天 真是个人渣 - He's such an asshole. - Out of control. Such a sleaze.
赌一百块钱 他会给她看跳水队的照片 100 bucks says, he'll show her the diving team photo.
看看这个 Check this out!
这是我在高中跳水队 It's me at the high school diving team.
我们当年把那泳池都跳烂了 We dove the shit out of that pool that year.
你答应我说要谈工作 You promised me this was about work.
萝瑞 为什么你就不喜欢我 我有钱 Lori, why don't you like me? I'm rich,
我长得帅 我老爸又开了这家公司 I'm good looking, my dad owns the company.
我有男朋友了 我已经跟你说过了 I have a boyfriend. I have told you this.
是啊 那个玩毛绒熊的家伙 Yeah, the guy with the bear.
可我要谈的是心智成熟的男女关系 萝瑞 But I'm talking about a mature relationship, Lori.
我是说 如果我们在一起 生的孩子简直无可挑剔 I mean, if we were together, our babies would be spectacular.
既有我社会金字塔顶端的白人基因 I mean, with my top of the pyramid Caucasian genes
又有你黑暗的 美丽的 性感的 波罗的海…还是捷克血统 and your splash of dark, beautiful, smoky, Baltic...? Czech?
再见 雷克斯 Goodbye, Rex.
嗯 真是好极了 Ok, that was perfect.
需要我为你们打包剩菜吗 Would you like me to wrap your leftovers?
不 我吃好了 谢谢 No, I'm good, thank you.
这样吧 你能帮我把这个打包吗 Actually, Could you wrap just this up for me please?
我想用他把别人吓得屁滚尿流 I wanna scare the shit out of somebody.
好的 Sure.
你多大啊 五岁吗 What are you, like 5 years old?
嗯 不过我的阅读水平是六岁 所以… Yeah, but I read at a 6 year old level, so...
先生和女士 这是你们的甜点 还有香槟 Sir...and madam, here is your desert, and champagne.
哇…水晶香槟 Ohh... cristal.
真是个特别的夜晚 我们已经相爱四年了 It's a special night, we've been dating for 4 years.
而且呢…那些富有的黑人可不会错 对吧 and hey...all those rich black people can't be wrong, right?
原产法国的奢侈葡萄酒 90年代在嘻哈乐音乐圈非常流行
不知不觉就已经四年了啊 Doesn't feel like 4 years does it?
嗯 没感觉 No, it doesn't.
其实 你要不是去了舞池 根本就没戏 You know, you had no business being out on that dance floor.
不过我真的庆幸你去了 But I'm really happy that you were.
这首歌真好听 This song is so great.
是啊 克里斯·布朗的歌错不了 Oh yeah, Chris Brown can do no wrong.
Chris Brown - Kiss Kiss
哇 你还真能跳 Wow, you can really move.
你喜欢看啊 那仔细瞧好了 You like that huh? Check this shit out.
我的天呐 你没事吧 Oh my God! Are you OK?
天呐 真是对不起 Oh God! I'm so sorry.
我没事 我没事 I'm fine, I'm fine.
老天 真是抱歉 我没看见你 是个意外 Jesus! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you. It was an accident.
你伤到头了吗 Did you hurt your head?
嗯 我的头很痛 Yeah, my head hurts a lot.
唉 来吧 我给你整点冰块去 Oh man, here, let me get you some ice.
对不起…对不起 疼吗 Sorry...sorry, does it hurt?
不 没…没事了 No, it ... it's fine.
好的 这里有个小测试 看看你到底有多关心我 Okay, here's a test to see how much you actually care about me.
你还记得那晚舞会散场后 You remember that night after the club
我们去吃夜宵煎蛋华夫饼 直到凌晨五点 we went and had late night eggs and waffles until about 5 a.m.?
我们吃东西的时候 在小电视上看了部电影 We watched a movie on the little TV in the diner.
说出电影的名字 Name that movie.
《八爪女》 Octopussy.
007系列的第13部电影
宝贝 完全正确 Baby! Gold star!
顺便说一声 我的舞技没那么烂 By the way, my dancing was not that bad.
是相当烂 It was pretty bad.
我的动作很酷 I have cool moves.
是啊 帕金森病人的动作也很酷 Yes, so do people with Parkinson's.
我印象中可不是那样 That's not how I remember it.
好吧 你印象中是什么样 Okay, how do you remember it?
模仿约翰·屈伏塔的电影《周末夜狂热》(1977)
好吧 随你怎么说 Alright. Whatever you say.
- 来 预祝我们再相处四年 - 好 - Hey, here's to four more years, huh? - Yeah.
你让我开心 You make me happy.
我知道说好了不送礼物 但是… Now, I know we said no gifts, but...
我们可没这么说 We said no such thing.
我还是为你买了东西 很明显破坏了不送礼物的规矩 I got you something anyway, in clear violation of the no gift rule.
我们没订这样的规矩 We have no such rule.
萝瑞 我早就想把这个送给你了 Lori, I wanted to give this to you for a long time.
约翰 John!
这是你喜欢的样式 对吗 商场里那个摊位卖的 Those are the ones you like, right? From that kiosk at the mall?
是啊 Yeah.
- 知道吗 萝瑞 - 嗯 - You know, Lori? - Mm?
总有一天会有戒指放在那里面 明白吗 Some day there's gonna be a ring in there. Alright?
可我想等真正能给你特别惊喜的时候 懂吗 But I wanna wait until I get you something really special, you know?
我…我现在没什么积蓄 I just...I don't have the money right now.
听着 我这么说是因为我爱你 Look, I'm only saying this because I love you.
你不会在事业上有任何起色 You're not gonna have any sort of career
只要你还在跟泰迪荒废时间 if you keep wasting time with Ted.
唉 老天 又来了 Oh, jeez. Here we go.
宝贝 让泰迪搬走吧 Baby, please ask Ted to move out,
这样我们就能继续咱俩的生活了 so we can move on with our lives.
好吧 听着 从我八岁起 他就是最好的朋友 Alright, look. He's been my best friend since I was 8,
我是个不受欢迎的孩子 I was not a popular child.
你得理解 在他出现之前我没有朋友 You have to understand, I had no friends before he came along.
他是我获得点滴自信的唯一原因 He's the only reason I ever gained any fuckin' confidence.
可你已经不是八岁了 你都三十五岁了 But you're no longer 8, you're 35 years old.
除非你盲目到毫无察觉 And unless you're too blind too notice,
他不再是你唯一的朋友了 he's not your only friend anymore.
我们能改天再谈吗 好好享用周年纪念晚餐吧 Can we talk about this another time and just enjoy our anniversary dinner?
靠 等一下 Oh shit, hang on a second.
我手机掉在座椅下面了 My phone fell under the seat somewhere.
你能打一下吗 Can you call it?
好 Yeah.
(星战中西斯登场的音乐)
你的新铃声 Is that a new ringtone?
哦 是的 Oh, yeah.
这是神马 听起来让人好消极 What is it, cos it sounds negative.
没什么特殊 是《恋恋笔记本》里的 No,no, it's from the Notebook.
我觉得还得一会儿才能取出来 This is gonna take some doing I think.
那我在楼梯上等你好了 I'll just meet you upsatirs then...
好的 我一会儿上去 Yeah, I'll be right there.
呃 萝瑞…你回来挺早嘛 Ugh,Lori...you are home early.
这是搞毛啊 What the hell is this?
我正和这些小妞看《杰克和吉尔》 The ladys and I were just watching Jack and Jill.
亚当·桑德勒饰演了一个男的和他姐姐 呃 这片烂透了 Adam Sandler plays a guy and his sister and it's...it's just aweful.
虽然不堪入目 不过她们是妓女 也就无所谓了 It's unwatchable, but they're hookers so it's fine
屋里已经成废墟了 这些女的究竟都是谁 This place is a wreck, who are these girls?
哦 我真是礼数不周 萝瑞 这是 安吉莉卡 oh where are my manners, Lori this is Angelic,
海文丽 夏蕊恩 和索维娘 布兰克 Heavenly,Sharinne and sauvignon blanc
前三个词源分别是 天使 天堂 神殿 后一个是白葡萄酒名
我爱你们这些姑娘 我想为这个精彩的夜晚 I love you girls. You know somewhere out there,are four
感谢你们那四个不知身处何方的烂爹 terrible fathers I wish I could thank for this great night.
这是什么 What is that?
什么是什么 What is what?
地板上有一坨屎 Theres a...a shit on my floor!
墙角那里 有一坨屎 in the corner, there is a shit!
哦 这个 我们刚才玩真心话大冒险 oh, yeah, we were playing truth or dare...
夏蕊恩还真敢玩~ and sharinne's pretty ballsy
我地板上有一坨屎 There's a shit on my floor!
呃 或者 或者 是不是那个屎上有一坨地板 well, or... or is the floor on the shit...
爱抱怨的人也许会这么说 is what kicker guy would say.
谁住在这里 谁住这里我就找谁 Who lives here? I'm coming to get whoever lives here.
你还欠龙虾我的钱 You owe me lobster money.
哈哈 那是我弟兄乔尼 不是那个龙虾 是扮的那个人 Haha, thats my buddy Johnny,not the lobster, the guy running it.
我找到我的手机了 这怎么了 I found my phone,what's going on?
那是一坨屎吗 Is that a shit?
Stewie附体 1981年电影《纽约大逃亡》的台词
天啊 那有好多屌爆了的鱼啊 God there are some fucked up fish out there.
看那个 白皮肤英国种清教徒一样的鱼 oh look at that one. waspy white guy fish.
WASPY: White Anglo-Saxon Protestant的
我娶错了老婆 现在我要花一生来后悔 I married the wrong woman, and now I lead a life of regret.
哦 看这个 我1981年去过纽约 oh look at this guy, I went to new york once, in 1981
我一点都不觉得那安全 and i just did not feel safe.
泰迪 你得搬出去 ted, you gotta move out.
你…什么 You...what?
迟早要发生的 It's gotta happen.
我做错了什么 What did I do?
我和女神的恋情现在很脆弱 My relationship is at a very delicate stage, you know.
萝瑞和我现在需要一点私有空间 Lori and I just need a little space right now.
此外 一个妓女还在公寓地板拉了屎 Plus, a hooker took a shit in out apartment.
- 天啊 - 怎么了 - Oh, god. - what?
噢 这个太恶心了 Oh, This is so gross.
别和我说 我不想听 你弄起来了么 don't tell me, I don't want to hear about it. You get it?
- 天啊 不 我没有 - 你弄好了告诉我 - Oh, my god. No I didn't get it! - Tell me when you get it!
天啊 沾到我大拇指上了 Oh, my god. I got some on my thumb.
- 不要啊 - 是的 我沾上了 - no! - Yes, i did.
你以后不能再用那只手做饭了 You can never cook with that hand again.
天啊 这是我做过的最恶心的事情了 Oh, my god. This is the most disgusting thing ever.
走开 离我远点 Go. Get away from me.
听我说 那晚谁都不好过 Look, that was tough night for all of us.
泰迪 你是我的一切 而萝瑞也是 ted, you mean everything to me,and so does Lori.
我其实在试着找到让你们两个都留在我生活中的办法 I mean I'm just trying to find a way to keep both of you in my life.
她让你这么做的 是不是 She's making you do it isn't she?
是 不过这不意味着我们不能一起玩了 Yes, but that doesn't mean we can't hang out.
我们可以一直一起玩啊 We'll hang out all the time.
是的 不过 Yeah, but...
那永远的雷友怎么办 乔尼 what about thunder buddys for life, Johnny.
我知道 我只是不知道该怎么做 我知道让你搬出去逊毙了 I know. I just dont know what to do here. I know it sucks.
但是否则我会失去她的 But otherwise I'm gonna lose her.
我是真心爱她的 泰迪 And I do love her, ted.
我知道你爱她 乔尼 I know you do, Johnny.
我会帮你渡过这个难关的 我保证 I'll help you get on your feet out there, I promise.
我懂 我们还能一起玩 对吧 I know, and we'll hang out all the time, right?
当然一直可以 All the time.
好吧 管他呢 过来 过来你个混蛋 过来 Alright. fuck it, bring it in come here, bring it in you bastard, come on.
"我爱你" "i love you"
-艹…靠…抱歉 - 是那个…那个东西 -fuck..shit..sorry. - thats the...the thing.
- 我不是基佬 - 我知道 - I'm not gay - I know.
你也不是基佬 所以没关系 And your not gay, so we're fine.
我们得给你找份工作 We got to get you a job.
- 我看起来很傻… - 不 你不是 你看起来短小精干 - I look stupid... - No, you don't. You look dapper.
不 我看起来像是侏儒版的会计 I don't. I look like snuggles accountant.
别这样 没那么糟糕 Come on, it's not that bad。
约翰 我看起来像是孩子祖母去世时 John, I look like something you give
家长给孩子的安慰品 your kid when you tell them grandma died.
听着 我知道这逊毙了 但是你必须挣钱 Look, i know it sucks ok but you gotta make
才能付得起房租 some money so you can pay for an apartment.
我不想在杂货店工作 I dont want to work at a grocery store.
我懂 但是你没有别的手艺 Yeah, but you have no skills.
我告诉过你 我肯定可以做一个律师 I told you, I can totally be a lawyer.
如果你被雇用我们就去庆祝 如何 You get the job, we're celebrating after, ok?
啊啊 那如果我被拒了 Ahaa, and if I don't get the job...
我们还能去抽大烟吗 are we still going to smoke that pot?
应该也行 Probably yes.
啊 好的 愉快的对话 教练 谢谢 好了 伙计 Ahaa yeah, good talk coach, thanks. Alright, buddy.
去搞定他们 Go get'em.
别担心 我会好好表现来获得这份迫切需要的工作 and dont worry, I'll do my very best to get this job that I so crave
你认为你具备胜任这职位的能力了吗 so you think you got what it takes?
告诉你我有什么 我呼吸中有你老婆私处的气味 I tell you what I got... You wife's pussy on my breath
从来没人敢这么和我说话 Nobodys ever talked to me like that before.
那是因为每个人的嘴都忙着给你老婆口交 That's because eveyone's mouth is usually full of your wife's box.
你被聘用了 You are hired.
靠 shit.
唉 曾经的明星 现在沦为低保户 Well, I am a former celebrity in a minimum wage job
估计演艺圈罢工时 那些演员们每天就是这种感受 This is how the cast of different strokes feels all day, every day.
糟透了 他们一定感觉糟透了 参加直播节目的肯定感觉更糟 Aweful, they must feel aweful..the live ones must feel aweful.
振作起来 没那么糟 Come on, Its not that bad. Ok?
我也有份垃圾的工作 但我向你保证 我感到很满意 I got a shitty job, and I assure you I am quite content.
抱歉 Excuse me!
很抱歉打扰你们 不过… I'm sorry to bother you, but uh...
我儿子和我都非常喜欢你的泰迪熊 My son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
- 哦 谢谢你 - 谢谢 - Oh! Thank you. - Thanks.
我是唐尼 这是罗伯特 I'm Donny. This is Robert
我得说 我还小的时候 就开始粉你了 I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy.
我还记得在《卡森秀》上看到过你 And eh, I remember seeing you on the Carson show.
你真的太棒了 You were just wondeful!
是啊 那个访谈够怪的 Oh yeah, that was a weird interview
艾德以为我是阿福 Ed thought I was Alf.
《Alf》(住家外星人) 美国80年代喜剧片
还不停的嘟囔着反犹太人的言论 And he kept muttering antI semitic comments.
不知为何他觉得阿福是犹太人 Thought Alf was Jewish for some reason.
你有考虑过卖掉泰迪熊吗 Have you ever considered selling the bear?
- 什么 - 不好意思 - What? - Excuse me?
我想要它 I want it.
嘿 我不是"它" 我是"他" 好么 Hey...im not an IT!Pal im a HE, alright?
很抱歉 小伙计 我的熊不卖哦 I'm sorry little guy, but my bear isn't for sale.
你看 我像你这么大时 就和他在一起了 See, I've had him since I was about your age.
他对于我来说 真的很特别 He's very very special to me.
和我说话的时候要立正站好 Stand up straight when your talking to me.
丫的他吃呛药了啊 Why the fuck would he say that?
对不起 其实你真不该在孩子面前冒脏话 Sorry, you know you really shouldn't swear in front of children.
你看 我们真的很喜欢你的泰迪熊 Uh look, we're very interested in the bear.
如果你想做笔交易 这里有我的电话和地址 If you want to make some sort of arrangement, here's my address and phone number.
随时都可以打来哦 And, you can call me anytime ok?
当然 Will do.
看 放好了 重要的东西放在重要的口袋 Look,here it goes, in the really important pocket for really important stuff.
- 好么 - 好 - ok? - ok.
回见 See you later
- 好啦 Robert - 多保重 -Ok, come on, Robert. - Take it easy.
搞毛… What the fuck...
你能想象那个小畜生会对我做什么吗 Can you imagine what that little shit would do to me?
我完全能想见他带你去地下室 I can totally see him taking you down to the basement,
一边哼着瘆人的维多利亚时代童谣 一边慢悠悠给你截肢 really slowly delimbing while singing some creepy victorian nursery rhyme.
- "哦 我的小六便士硬币 我漂亮的小硬币" - 打住 - "Oh my little sixpence my pretty little sixpence." - Stop it.
- "我爱我的小硬币" - 停下 - " I love my sixpence." - Knock it off.
停下来啦 见鬼 你怎会如此的变态 Stop it, fuck. why you got to take it to that place..
你非得要… 现在都成真了 You took it to a...Now it's real.
- 现在已经成真了 - 哦 拜托 淡定 Now it's a real thing! - Aww come on, take it easy.
我们换个地方嗨吧 Let's just find a better place to get stoned.
我想就这样了 哈 Well I guess this is it, huh?
是啊 我想也是 Yeah, I guess so.
独自度过的第一夜 First night on your own.
在我美丽的小公寓里的第一夜 Yeah, first night in my beatiful new apartment.
这里布置好了 会很漂亮的 Well it’ll be great when it's furnished.
是啊 那人说这里很少发生谋杀案 所以还不错啊 Yeah. and the guy said it ain't hardly had no murders in it, so thats good...
好吧 那么 Ok, so...
- 如果你还需要什么 - 嗯 -If you need anything. - Yeah.
我懂 别担心 乔弟 我会没事的 I know. dont worry Johnail, I'll be fine.
我知道你会的 I know you will
好啦 Alright
嘿 Hey there
嘿 Hey
听着 Listen, umm
我只想说 谢谢你 I just want to say thank you
我知道你对泰迪做出的这步并不容易 I know what you did to Ted wasn't easy
我想告诉你 我因此更爱你 And I just want you to know that I love you for it
况且…这将会是我们感情新的开始 And... I think its a new beginning for our relationship
为了你一切都可以 Hey, Anything for you.
一切都是为了成长起来的约翰·伯奈特 所以 This is all part of the new grown up John Bennett,so...
你最好还是赶紧习惯他吧 You better get used to him.
当真的 For real...
现在我还有二十分钟才上班 Well...Now I don't have to be at work for another 20 minutes
太好了 我只需要一分钟就搞定 Well that’s perfect, cos I’m only going to need 1.
你知道我最喜欢你哪一点么 You know what my favourite thing about you is?
尽管交往四年了 你依旧能带给我惊喜 Even after 4 years, you can still surprise me.
能做出让步 改变你生命中如此重要的一部分 And to step up and change such a huge part of your life
只是为了让你的女朋友开心 just to make your girlfriend happier.
我也不晓得 我猜大多数男人不会这么做 I don't know, I guess most guys wouldn't do that.
大多数男人没有你来激励他们 Well most guys don't have you to motivate them.
我知道我不是那个会说话的泰迪熊 但是… I know I'm not a talking teddy bear, but...
至少你不需要许什么魔法愿望 就能拥有我 At least you dont have to make a magical wish to get me.
你怎么知道 How do you know?
噢 一把飞侠哥顿镭射枪 Ohh...a Flash Gordon ray gun,
还是你看到我来性致了啊 or you just happy to see me?
给 好了 非常感谢 There. Here we go.Thank you very much,
欢迎再次光临 我们还有更多商品 Please come again we have a lot more groceries.
- 喂 喂 艾伦 - 什么 - Hey uhh, hey Ellen. - yeah?
那边是谁啊 Who's that over there?
噢 那是新来的收银妹 Oh, thats the new check out girl.
我不知道她叫什么 看着挺可爱的 I dont know her name. Seems cute.
是啊 超级可爱 Yeah. Very cute.
你知道我要对她怎么着吗 you know what I'd like to do to her?
我称之为"色毛毛"的行为 Something I call a dirty fuzzy.
好吧 好吧 看来底线应该到此为止了 ok...alright...so thats where we'll draw the line.
嘿 你还能坚持住么 hey...how you holding up?
噢 我挺好的 我只是在适应这一切 就是这样 Oh I'm alright, I'm just getting used to things, that's all.
会没事的 It's going to be alright.
我其实和前男友分手时也经历过这些 I actually went through something like this with my last boyfriend
- 真的吗 - 嗯 - really? - yeah.
我们在一起相处了八个月 我真的很爱他 We were together for 8 months and I really loved him
然后他就被遣送回伊朗了 所以 and then he got deported back to Iran, so...
我知道你现在的感受 I know what you're going through.
唉 是啊 看来我们都失去了自己毛茸茸的小家伙 Oh, yeah. So I guess we both lost our furry little guy
可不是嘛 We sure did.
(《霹雳游侠》主题曲)
- 嘿 泰迪 - 嘿 乔尼 干嘛呢 - Hey, Ted. - Hey, Johnny. What are you doing?
想过来喝点小酒不 Eanna come over and catch a buzz?
呃 我也许下班后会过去 Well, I could probably stop by after work
干你妹的 我昨天换了班 所以还要补另一趟班 fuck that, I traded off yesterday so I got the other shift
来嘛 我在这里闲出屎了 就稍微来一会嘛 come on, I'm bored as crap over here. just swing by for a bit...
我不能丢下工作不管啊 伙计 I cannot just ditch work, man.
听着 我正在让自己重新振作起来 Look, I'm trying to get my shit together and be
然后做一个成年人 知道么 这是为了萝瑞 an adult here. You know, for Lori's sake.
约翰 给你五分钟 不然就断交 我发誓 John, 5 minuites and I'll kick you out, I promise.
你就过来呗 我这有《干杯酒吧》的DVD套装 just come over. I got the Cheers DVD boxset
美国1982年的情景喜剧
而且音像店的那家伙告诉我说 and the guy down at the store told me that
每个演员接受采访时都狂喷其他人 everybody talks shit about each other in the interviews.
五分钟后你就跟我断交 you'll kick me out in 5?
五分钟后我就跟你断交 I will kick you out in 5.
约翰 我不得不这么干 John, I'll have to kick you out.
我有好多泰迪熊文件要处理 很头疼的 I have so much teddy bear paperwork I have to get through. It is sick.
那我怎么和汤玛斯说 What do I tell Thomas?
就告诉他你感觉不舒服 Just tell him you don't feel well.
我必须得出去一会 萝瑞想劝开 I got to cut out for a bit, Lori tried to break up
一对打架的狗 貌似她受了很重的伤 a dog fight and I guess she got hurt pretty bad.
天啊 Oh, my god.
是啊 她 她就是那样 Yeah. She is... I mean that's the way she is.
她只要看到别人有麻烦就会去帮忙 She sees trouble and she tries to help out,
好像有只狗咬住了她的小臂 And I guess one of these dogs clamped its jaws on her forearm,
直到消防员出现才肯松口 and wouldn't let go until a fireman showed up,
而且不得不把手指插进了它的菊花 and had to stick a finger in it's ass.
- 上帝啊 - 是啊 她吓坏了 - Oh, jesus. - Yeah, shes pretty shook up.
是直通狗菊 是吧 Up the dogs ass, right?
没错 是狗不是消防员 Yeah. the dogs not the firemans ass.
我还以为消防员自插了菊花 I thought the fireman stuck his finger up his own ass.
我不认为一个消防员会那么干 我是说 I don't think a firefighter would do that, I mean...
好吧 快去快去 搞定这件事 well, go, go. Take care of it
- 告诉我她的情况 快去吧 - 谢谢 - Let me know how she is. Go. - Thank you.
伍迪·哈里森 有着我见过最小的男人鸡巴 woody harrelson...smallest dick I've ever seen on a man.
两人都是《干杯酒吧》剧中的演员
瞧 这就是我看这些东西的原因 就像 See, thats why I watch these things. It's like a
那些你不知道幕后趣事 cool behind the scenes thing that you wouldn't know.
噢 听着 尝尝这个 oh hey, listen, try this.
我叫我的大麻贩子给力一点 然后他给了我这个 I told my weed guy to step it up, and he gave me that.
这是什么 what is it?
这叫精神奸淫 事实上相当柔和醇厚 It's called mind rape, it's actually pretty mellow.
不过听起来不是那么回事 It doesn't sound very mellow.
呃 他那里只剩三批其他品种 Well, he only had 3 other batches
呃 "猩猩恐惧" 呃 "外星人来了 外星人来了" uh, "Gorilla panic"...uh, "They're coming! They're coming!"
还有个叫什么"这就是永恒"的 and something called "This is permanent".
来嘛 点起来 Come on, spark it up.
没错 这就对了 There you go, you got it.
哈哈哈 爽 hahaha, nice.
- 不错吧? 抽得好 - 没错 - Good huh? Good job. - Yeah.
- 真为你自豪啊 - 知道么 这里看起来妙极了 - Take pride in that. - you know, this place looks great.
噢 谢了 全是宜家的玩意儿 整个地方才用了47刀 aww thanks man, it's all Ikea, did the whole place for $47.
- 不错 - 是啊 - nice... - yeah
周围邻居怎么样 How are the neighbours?
其实 隔壁住了一家亚洲人 Ah, you know, there's an asian family living next door,
但他们没有锣之类的东西 所以还好吧 but they don't have a gong or nothing. so it's not too bad.
- 那可真走运 - 没错 - That's lucky - Yeah, it is.
- 工作怎么样 - 烂透了 - How's work? - Sucks.
- 你呢 - 其实 还不赖 - You? - You know,not bad actually
我碰到个妹子 他是个收银的 I met a girl, she's a cashier
- 不可能吧 那太赞了 - 没错 - No way, that's awesome - Yeah.
我们应该四人约会 你 我 萝瑞 还有…她叫什么 We should fucking double date, you, me and Lori and...whats her name?
"白种垃圾"常见名 猜猜看 White trash name, guess...
指收入低微 生活潦倒的美国白人
- Mandy - 不是 - Mandy? - no...
- Marilyn - 不是 - Marilyn? - no...
- Britney - 不是 - Britney ? - no...
- Tiffany - 不是 - Tiffany? - no...
- Candice - 不是 - Candice? - no...
别想耍我 我肯定知道这名字 Don't fuck me on this, I know this shit.
你以为我是在耍你么 Do you see me fucking with you?
好了 抢答环节 我要喷出一堆名字 Alright, speed round.I'm gonna rattle off some names,
- 当我说中了 你要按铃好么 - 我会说的 - and when I hit it, fucking buzz it, ok? - I will tell you.
- 明白了没 - 明白了- 好 - You got me? - Yeah. - Alright.
Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Sabrina, Melody,
Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor,
Tara, Tami, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty,
Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Nowel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra,
Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey,
Dolly, Kendra, Kylie, Chloe, Devon, Emmalou,
- 难道是他妈的Becky - 不是 - fuckin' Becky? - Nope.
等等 是不是叫什么"Lynn"的 Wait. Was it any one of those names with a "Lynn" after it?
没错 Yes!
哦 我知道了 混蛋 我吃定你了 Ooh, I got you, motherfucker! I got you.
好 Brandy-Lynn Heather-Lynn Channing-Ly Okay. Brandy-Lynn, Heather-Lynn, Channing-Ly...
-Tami-Lynn - 干 -Tami-Lynn. - Fuck!
到底怎么回事 What the hell?
嘿伙计 你觉得你能开放一个以上的收银台么 Hey man, Do you think you can open more than one register?
这里都有上万人了 It's like thousands of people here!
这里本该开放三个收银台的 老天爷 There supposes to be three registers open. For god sakes!
把你的手指插在我标签环里 stuck your finger in the loop of my tag!
你居然和一位同事在我们 You had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on top
要卖给公众的产品上发生了性行为 of the produce that we sell to the public.
我上周用欧洲萝卜干了她 I fucked her with parsnip last week,
还把它卖给了有四个幼儿的家庭 and I sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
那可得要点胆子 我们正需要 我要提拔你 That took guts. We need guts. I' m promoting you.
你肯定毛病很多 是吧 You gotta lot of problems, don't you?
好 射 All right. Cream!
Cream有射精的意思
射得真烂 Suck cream.
有人吗 hello?
- 嘿 泰迪 - 呀啊 你好 伙计 你还好吗 - hey, ted. - Yaaaah, oh hey! Hi there! Fella how are you?
你现在就一个人么 Are you here all alone?
呃 不不 才没有 Uh, no. No, i'm not.
呃 其实 当上帝与你同在时你并不是独自一人 Uh...you know, you're never alone when you're with Christ.
所以 我不是一个人 So, no, I'm not alone.
嗯 我也是 Yeah. Yeah, me too.
我和罗伯特可以给你一个非常温馨的家 You know, Robert and I could give you a very very good home.
知道么 我很喜欢自己现在待的地方 Yeah, you know, I'm pretty happy where I am.
我刚搬到一个屎样的新公寓 而且我 I just got a shitty new apartment, and I...
我可以给你6000块的铁路债券 I could offer you six thousand dollars in railroad bonds
呃 好吧 既然我刚从内战中退役下来 Uh...well, you know, since I just returned from active duty
所以那听上去还挺诱人的 in the Civil War, that actually sounds very appealing.
哟 等等 真是对不起啊 那都是一百五十年前的事了 Oh, wait! No, I'm sorry, that was a hundred and fifty years ago,
南北内战时期美国铁路债券广为流行
- 所以 我他妈才不在乎 - 好吧 - and uh...I don't give a shit. - Okey.
泰迪 快点儿 和你朋友的晚餐要迟到了 Teddy, come on. We gonna be late for dinner with your friends.
好的 我马上就去 宝贝儿 Okey. I'll be there in a second, baby.
呃 你也看到了 我的舞伴卡很满了 Ah, as you can see, my dance card is quite full,
用卡片依次列出同意与其跳舞的女士 指受女性欢迎
- 好 好吧 - 所以 我不得不拒绝你了 - Yeah. Okay. - so... I'm gonna have to decline.
- 那我能拥抱下么 - 噢 不行 - Could I just get a hug? - Oh, uh...no.
- 好吧 - 不 不 不行 - Yeah. - No. No. No.
不得不拒绝你真是难过死我了 因为我本是逗人开心的玩意儿 And it kills me to have to tell you no, cause I'm a people pleaser.
- 是啊 - 但是 呃 知道么 - Yeah. - But, uh....you know,
谢谢你今晚尾行我 愿上帝与你同在 thank you for creeping up my night. And Jesus be with you.
- 好吧 - 老天保佑 - Okay. - In Christ.
那家伙是谁 Who was that guy?
哦 那是 西尼德·奥康娜 Oh, that was uh...Sinead O'Connor.
著名爱尔兰女歌手 后来自毁形象剃了光头
她没原来那么好看了 She don't look so good no more.
这真是太好了 对吧 我们四人共进晚餐 How great is this, huh? The four of us out to dinner.
我们多早以前就开始说要… 萝瑞 How long have we been saying we're gonna...Lori,
你过得如何 我都好久没和你聊过了 how...how are you doin'? I haven't talked to you in forever.
我很好 我很好 呃 I'm good. I'm good. Um...
我公司下周要办一个20周年纪念派对 the company's having their twentieth anniversary party next week,
所以 还不错啦 so, that's somethin'.
萝瑞是一家大型公关公司的高级副总经理 Lori is a Senior VP at a big huge PR firm.
那其实没什么啦 It's not that big of a deal.
那公司都要20岁了 The company's turnin' twenty years,
所以你可以干它 但你不能把它灌醉 so you can bang it, but you can't get it drunk.
美国各州合法性交年龄为16-18岁以上 饮酒年龄为21岁以上
对吧 她听懂了 她…她欣赏我的幽默 Right? she gets it. She get...she enjoyed my humor.
嗯 对了 雷克斯要办家庭派对 Yeah, I mean, Rex is having a house party.
但我很惊讶约翰没告诉过你 But I'm surprised John didn't tell you,
考虑到你们俩基友天天见面 considering you two have seen each other
而你明明都已经搬走了 every single day since you moved out.
呃 其实挺有趣的 因为不管我和乔尼啥时候一起玩 Well, you know, it's funny cause whenever Johnny and I hang out,
呃 我们议程表的首要话题就是 萝瑞最近怎么样 uh...the first item on our agenda is uh...what's goin' on with Lori.
所以么 挺有趣的 那事就没提了 So, you know, it's funny that, that didn't come up.
一定是不小心漏掉了 That must have slipped through the crack.
是啊 我们确实 总是在聊你 Yeah, we do, we talk about you all the time.
是啊 你还记得那天 Yeah, you remember the other day,
我说萝瑞的头发有多好看来着 I was sayin' how great Lori's hair always looks.
我是说 啧啧啧 看起来总是很漂亮 I mean, oh, my God! It always looks so great.
所以我总是禁不住想梳它 I just always wanna fuckin' brush it!
其实 我…这么说没错吧 乔尼 You know, I... that's right, Johnny? I say that.
那么 塔米林 你为何不跟我们聊聊自己的情况 So, Tami-Lynn, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself.
比如 你从哪来 Like, where are you from?
我一直想着能见到泰迪的女朋友们 I'm always fascinated to meet Ted's girlfriends.
你说女朋友们是什么意思 What do you mean girlfriends?
难道有一大堆还是怎样 Was there like a lot of 'em or somethin'?
不 不 她完全不是那个意思 对吧 No! No! That's not what she meant at all. Right?
萝瑞 你不是那个意思吧 Lori, you didn't mean that?
不 不是 我是说 泰迪非常帅 所以我一直对 No. No, no. What I meant to say was, Ted's very handsome, so I'm always
能"沟"走他的那位小姐很感兴趣 interested in meeting the lady that can snatch him up.
"snatch"有阴沟的意思 你懂的
你是在说我是个鸡吗 Did you just call me a whore?
什么 What?!
你只要管好自己的沟就行了 You just worry about your own snatch.
- 怎样啊 甜心 - 喔 喔 喔 - How about that, honey? - Woh! Woh! Woh!
嘿 到底怎么回事儿 Hey! What the hell happened?
- 我们正在友好的吃饭呢 - 是啊 这本是个美好的夜晚 - We're having a friendly meal here. - Yeah! This was a nice evening.
别想拿老娘开涮 Don't talk shit to me.
我只是问了个问题 I just asked you a question!
其实你就是个妈逼的势利小人 You know, you're a freakin' snob!
你以为自己很了不起 不就因为你妈逼的在 You think you're all cool cause you work at
某个高级场所里上班 老娘才不管 some fuckin' fancy shit place. Whatever!
好了 别激动 友善 萝瑞 真的 友善点 Okay, take it easy. Nice, Lori. Real, nice.
我吗 这不是我的错 她连英文都听不懂 Me? It's not my fault she can't speak English!
噢 去你妈的 就因为你在商界 Oh, fuck you! Just cause you're in the business world
所以你他妈觉得怎么着 and shit, you think, what?
每个人都要拍你马屁么 Everybody should suck your asshole or somethin'?
好了好了 塔米林 走吧 宝贝儿 Okay, alright. Tami-Lynn, come on, honey.
咱们走吧 咱们回去 Let's get out of here. We'll go back to
到我的地方喝几杯草莓伏特加 my place for a couple of vodka strawberry quicks.
知道么 老娘生过一次孩子 婊子 You know what? I gave birth once, bitch!
我本来要揍你的 你最好永远 I could kick your fuckin' ass! And you better never
别在皇后区露脸 听到没 永远 show your face around Queens, you hear me? Ever.
好了 好了 快走吧 Okay! Okay. Come on. Come on.
我不知道你有过个孩子 还活着么 I didn't know you had a baby. Is it alive?
真是个贱货 What a cunt.
嗷 我讨厌那个词 Aw. I hate that word.
-什么 - 那个词 太刺耳了 - What? - That word is so sharp.
就像一把电光剑 横扫一切挡道的东西 It's like an electrical sword, slashing everything in its path!
你为什么要那么说啊 Why would you say that?
你刚才都完全没有挺我 You didn't exactly stand up for me!
我在试着找折中的方法 I'm tryin' to walk a line here.
我想在你和他之间保持公平 明白吗 I wanna be fair to you and to him, you know?
好吧 可我觉得你更偏向他一点 Well, I think you're being a little more fair to him.
噢 哪有 Oh, come on!
知道么 你老板今早给我打电话了 You know, your boss called this morning,
问我胳膊怎么样了 asking me how my arm was.
什么 Huh?
是啊 因为我试图替两只狗劝架 Yeah, because of the dog fight that I tried to break up?
噢 对 Oh, right.
如果要我猜的话 我会觉得 If I had to make a guess, I would say that
你编了点狗屁借口 you made up some bullshit excuse
好翘班去泰迪那里 to get out of work to go to Ted's.
这下我没说错吧 Now, am I right?
我把你编成了个英雄 I made you out to be a hero.
知道么 约翰 我们让泰迪搬出去是为了 You know,John. We asked Ted to move out so that
给我们自己创造二人世界的机会 we can give ourselves a chance without him.
你这是在葬送机遇 如果你继续逃班 You're not giving anything a chance if you keep blowing off work
去和你的泰迪熊一起抽大烟 to get high with your teddy bear!
你说的对 You're right.
我确实烟抽的多了点 这我知道 I've been getting stoned too much. I know that.
我和泰迪一起鬼混的也多了点 这我也知道 I've been bummin' around Ted's too much, I know that too.
你再给我一次机会 我保证 我能搞定 You give me one more chance, I promise, I can fix it.
约翰 我需要的是个男人 不是一个带着泰迪熊的小男孩 John, I need a man. Not a little boy with a teddy bear.
我懂 蜕变完成 一个男人出现在了你面前 好吗 I know. Done. Man, right here in front of you. Alright?
看看这些肌肉 这是男人的肌肉 Look at these pecks. These are man pecks.
看看我上唇的毛 那是男人的毛 Look at the hair on my upper lip. That's man hair.
我刚才放了个屁 那是男人的屁 I just farted. That was a man fart.
好吧 好吧 约翰 但这是 Fine. Fine, John. But this is,
我向上帝发誓 你最后一次机会了 I swear to God, your last chance.
相信我 我爱你 Trust me, I love you.
行啦 我也爱你 Alright, I love you too.
我爱煞你了 你不会伤心了 我发誓 I love you so much. You won't be sorry, I swear.
你刚才真放屁了 Did you really just fart?
是啊 但我用手扇到那边去了 Yeah! But I pushed it that way with my hand.
我想知道谁先闻到它 I wonder who's it's gonna hit first.
如果我跟他们讲过一遍 那我就相当于 so if i told them once, i told them
讲了一百万遍 这些数目不要算总和 a million times,these numbers do not add up
这到底是谁干的 Who did this to us?!
见他妈的鬼 我可是来这儿谈生意的 God dammit! I'm here on business!
好了 要进去了 Okey. Here we go.
- 我真的很高兴你能来 - 我也一样 - I'm really glad you came. - yeah me too.
- 真的么 - 听着 如果我揍你老板应该没关系吧 - Yeah? - Look, is that okey if I kick your boss's ass?
我是说这不会影响你们工作中的"关系" 对吧 I mean that won't affect your work place chemistry, will it?
求你好好表现哦 Please be nice.
为了你 没说的 For your word. I will.
她在这儿呢 我还在担心你不来了 There she is. I was worried about you won't coming.
嘿 童子军 你好吗 你的小兔兔去哪了 Hey, your scout. How are you doing? Where's your bunny rabit?
- 那是只熊 - 懂了 - Is a bear. - Got it.
天啊 这房子可真他妈大 Oh my God. This house is fucking huge.
那是 别走丢了哟 进来吧 I know, try not to get lost. Come on in.
哇 美女们在这儿呢 看看你们呀 Wow. Here are the ladies. Look at you guys.
你们迷人极了 You guys look amazing.
除了眼影有点重 但还是很漂亮 Little heavy on the eye makeup, but pretty good.
- 谢谢 - 谢谢 - Thank you. - Thank you.
你们认识萝瑞和吉姆 对吧 是约翰 You guys know Lori and Jim, right? John.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi. - Hi.
听着 不如我和约翰去吧台弄杯喝的吧 Listen, why don't John and I go get a drink at the bar.
- 呃 好的 - 太好了 我们马上回来 - Uh... Sure. - Great. We'll be right back.
走吧 伙计 Come on, buddy.
这是件旧毛衣了 是吧 It's a old sweater, huh?
这是韦德·博格斯亲笔签名的球棒 This is Wade Boggs's autographed bat.
美国著名棒球手
我在拍卖会上勉强标过菲尔·多纳休拍回来的 I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at auction.
美国著名电视主持人 有同名访谈节目
- 哇 酷啊 - 是啊 挺酷 - Wow. Cool. - Yeah. Cool.
这拳击手套是乔刘易斯第一场拳赛时戴的 These box gloves worn by Joe Lewis in his first fight.
世界著名拳击手
这是艺术 看得懂不 This is art, get it?
这是约翰·列侬的眼镜 值个大概100万美元 These are John Lennon's glasses, worth like a millon dollars.
已故著名乐队披头士成员
这是我和汤姆·斯凯里特 That's me and Tom Skerritt.
噢 瞧瞧这个 Oh. Check this out.
这是兰斯·阿姆斯特朗的卵蛋 That's Lance Armstrong's nut.
著名自行车手 因睾丸癌于2006年切除一个
我把它冻干并染成了古铜色 I had it freeze dried and bronzed.
不管什么时候 Every now and then,
当生活让我沮丧 事事不顺时 when my life's getting me down and things are tough,
我就会上来看着它 I just come up here and look at it.
它提醒我事情并没有那么糟 It reminds me that things aren't so bad.
有时你会觉得像个傻瓜(卵蛋) Sometimes you feel like a nut.
有时你不会 Sometimes you don't.
对了 跟我说说 强尼·奎斯特 你和萝瑞处的怎么样啊 So? Talk to me, Johnny Quset. How are things with you and Lori?
同名卡通片中的少年主角
其实 真的还挺不错 You know, thing are great, actually.
噢 好 太好了 Oh, that's great. That is great.
其实 萝瑞不会乐意让我这么说 You know, Lori would hate me for saying this.
可她告诉我你在办公室对她的所作所为了 But, you know, she told me how you are with her at the office.
既然都是文明人 我只想对你说 And as one gentlemen to another, I just wanna say,
我真心希望你他妈得上卢伽雷氏病(渐冻人症) I really hope you fucking get Lou Gehrig's disease.
喔 让我 呃 稍微澄清一下 Wow. Let me uh...give it to clear the air here a little.
我是说 没错 我是个多少有点喜欢开玩笑的老板 I mean, yeah, I'm kind of a fun time boss and what not.
但是 我对办公室里所有人都如此 But look, man, I do that with everybody at the office.
我就是个怪人 我对你的女友没有非分之想 I'm a kook! I have no designs on your girlfriend.
我们一起工作 但仅此而已 We work together, but that's it,
而且我觉得你人非常好 她是个走运的姑娘 and I think you're a great guy. She's a very lucky girl.
好吧 听你这么说就好 Well, that's good to hear.
嗯 Yeah.
失陪一下 嘿 泰迪 Excuse me.Hey,Ted.
乔尼 你在哪儿 你得过来一趟 伙计 Johnny, where are you? You gotta get over here, man.
怎么了 发生什么事了 Why? What's going on?
好吧 我找了些人在公寓里 Okay, so I'm havin' a little impromptu thing with some
搞了点即兴活动 然后呢 山姆·琼斯来了 people at my apartment, and John, Sam Jones is here!
什么 What?
山姆·琼斯 狗日的飞侠哥顿来了 Sam Jones. Flash fucking Gordon is here!
我擦 什么 Holy Shit! What?
你记得我说过 我一哥们儿的表兄是山姆·琼斯的朋友吗 You remember I said my buddy's cousin is friends with Sam Jones?
我哥们儿正和他表兄在城里 然后你猜猜谁和他在一起 My buddy is in town with his cousin, and who do you think is with him?
是山姆·琼斯 山姆·琼斯在这儿 Sam Jones! Sam Jones is here!
还有 约翰 他的头发是中分的 And, John, his hair is parted down the middle.
就和电影里一样 Just like in the movie.
没错 快过来 马上 Yes! Get over here, right now.
奶奶的 我不行啊 我和萝瑞在一起 Fuck! I can't! I'm with Lori here,
我正在戴罪查看期呢 我…我不行啊 I'm already on probation. I just...I can't.
约翰 飞侠哥顿是我们成长时期最重要的人 John, Flash Gordon was the most important influence of our formative years.
他教会我们明辨是非善恶 He taught us right from wrong, good from evil,
而且还让"表演"这个词有了极广的定义 and that the word acting apparently has an extremely broad definition.
飞侠哥顿就是我们友谊的象征 约翰 过来与我分享吧 Flash Gordon is the symbol of our friendship, John. Come share this with me.
我马上来 I'm comin'!
雷克斯 我得走了 Rex, I gotta go.
听着 我会在最多30分钟内回来 Look, I'll be back in like thirty minutes tops, okay?
不能让萝瑞发现 她绝对不能知道我走了 Lori cannot find out, she absolutely cannot know I was gone.
如果你能替我打掩护 我就对之前的一切既往不咎 If you can cover for me, I'm cool with all that other shit.
我会挺你的 她不会知道 我懂的 I got your back on this. She won't know, I've been there.
好吧 这是男人间的约定 我虽然不太了解你 Alright, this is one man to another. I don't really know you,
但我相信你作为一个男人 这不是说笑 but I'm trusting you as man, this is serious.
伙计 男人之间的承诺 我帮定你了 Dude, one man to another, I got you on this.
谢了 我会回来的 Thank you. I'll be back!
我要和你的软妹子上床啦 I'm gonna have sex with your girlfriend.
(《飞侠哥顿》电影插曲)
噢 乔尼 谢天谢地你来了 Oh, Johnny! Thank Christ, you made it!
伙计 我只有10分钟 飞侠哥顿在哪儿 Dude, I got ten minutes. Where's Flash Gordon?
好吧 做好准备 Okay, get ready.
嘿 山姆 这就是我和你说过的家伙 Hey, Sam! This is the guy I was tellin' you about.
(Flash - Queen乐队 《飞侠哥顿》电影主题曲)
* 飞侠 啊 宇宙的大救星 * * Flash Ah Saviour of the universe *
* 飞侠 啊 他会拯救我们所有人 * * Flash Ah He'll save evry one of us *
* 一个浑身是胆的汉子 * * Just a man with a man's courage *
* 善解人意 别无所长 * * He knows nothing but a man *
* 但是他绝不会失败 * * But he can never fail *
* 只有内心纯洁的人 * * No one but the pure in heart *
* 才能找到金色圣杯 噢 * * may find the golden grail Oh *
你好么 很高兴见到你 How you doin'? Good to meet you.
谢谢你救了我们所有人 I thank you for saving everyone of us.
- 噢 你客气了 - 啊啊啊 他承认了 - Ooh, You're welcome. - Ahhhh. He acknowledged it!
- 我们来喝几杯吧 - 和您 - Let's do some shots! - With you?
- 上帝啊 好的 - 天啊 好的 - Oh, my God!Yes! - Oh, my God! Yes!
- 必须的啊 - 开始吧 - Totally, yes. - Let's go!
- 谢谢 飞侠 - 给你 朋友 - Thanks, Flash. - Here you go, my friend.
- 谢谢 - 让明去死吧 - Thank you. - Death to Ming!
飞侠哥顿电影中的台词 皇帝"明"是大反派
没错 Yes!
知道么 你们看起来挺酷的 想"派对"一把么 You know, you guys seem pretty cool. You like to party?
呃 白粉 是么 Uh...cocaine, right?
不是吧 伙计 别告诉我你们没吸过 Come on, dudes! Don't tell me you never done it before!
呃 没 最近没有 Well, not...not recently, no.
我以为那是专给佛州人吸的 I thought that was just for people in Florida.
你们最好跟紧我 走吧 You better follow me. Come on.
乔尼 我好怕怕 Johnny, I'm frightened.
我们要像80年代的人一样派对 We are gonna party like the eighties.
给我们示范下 飞侠 Show us how, Flash.
简单 我们只要干倒一堆叫斯蒂芬妮的妞就好了 It's easy. We just gotta nail a lot of girls named Stephanie.
酷啊 乔尼 我现在浑身是劲 Cool. Johnny, I got so much energy.
我们快开始做点疯狂的事吧 We better start doin' stupid shit.
Only Wanna Be With You - Hootie & The Blowfish
* 你和我 我们来自不同的世界 * * You and me, we come from different worlds *
* 当我看其他女孩时 你喜欢嘲笑我 * * You like to laugh at me when i look at other girls *
听着 乔尼 如果我们真要想 Oh, look, Johnny. If we ever gonna get serious about
开家餐馆 我们最好开始计划了 openin' up restaurant, we gotta start plannin' it now.
- 意大利的 - 意大利的 好 - Italian. - Italian, yes!
周二的特色菜是什么 What's the special on Tuesday?
- 茄子煲 - 总汇沙拉 要半价 - Eggplant pot. - Chopped salad, half priced.
而且是非限制性场所 And it's a non-restrictive place.
没错 慢着 你什么意思 Yeah. Wait! What do you mean?
- 所有人都能来 - 那肯定 - Anybody can come.- Of course!
犹太人也欢迎 Jews are welcome.
呃 好吧 我是说 他们难道不受欢迎 Well, yeah! I mean, why wouldn't they be?
没错 我就是那意思 exactly. That's what I'm sayin'.
但你为什么要提出来呢 Yeah, but why did you even bring that up?
你不能提 你就直接让他们进 You don't bring it up, you just let 'em in.
- 那你为什么要说呢 - 没人会的 - So why mention it? - No one will.
那我们为什么还在讨论这个 But why are we talkin' about it?
是你在讨论 我是说 让他们进 You're talkin' about it, I'm sayin', let 'em in.
没错 让他们进 Yeah, let 'em in.
- 当然 - 没错 - Exactly! - Right!
- 就这么干 - 好 - Do it! - Okay!
但墨西哥人不行 No Mexicans though.
* 有时你又疯狂又惊奇 * * Sometimes you're crazy and you wonder *
每个人都用90年代的方法唱 So everybody sing in the 90's
* 我就是个孩子因为海豚也能让我哭泣 * * I'm such a baby cause the dolphins make me cry *
* 而且我也无能为力 * * Well there's nothing I can do *
* 我一直在找你这样的女孩 * * I've been lookin' for a girl like you *
上帝啊 相信我 我能行的 God geez. Trust me, I can do this.
闭嘴 Shut up!
- 让他试试呗 伙计 - 行 好吧 - Let him try it, man. - Alright, okay.
怎么着 What?
你妈了个巴子的 You son of a bitch!
其实你就不该相信我 我嗑药了 Well, you never should have trusted me. I'm on drugs.
* 你看着我却无言以对 * * You look at me you got nothin' left to say *
* 我会对你噘嘴 直到自己如愿以偿 * * I'm gonna pout at you until I get my way *
嘿 乔尼 我有个好主意 Hey Johnny. I just had a great idea.
我们喝醉酒 然后上过街天桥对着汽车呕吐 Let's go get drunk and puke on the car in the overpass.
噢 不会吧 我说话没那么像皮特·格里芬吧 Oh, come on! I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin!
《恶搞之家》主角 S04E14中曾在立交桥上往下拉屎
* 我不会跳舞 她不会唱歌 * * I won't dance, and she won't sing *
你们只许用元音来唱90年代任一首歌曲 You can do any 90's songs with just vowels.
* @#$%^&你 A E I O U * * ...you. A E I O U *
《恶搞之家》星战特辑"It's a trap!"开场有类似的段子
瞧 这就是证据 See, there, proof!
加菲猫的眼睛看起来就像一对咪咪 Garfield's eyes looks like a pair of tits.
你说的没错 You were right!
你若你能打穿这面墙 你就真是飞侠哥顿 If you can punch through this wall, you really are Flash Gordon.
你真准备这么干 Are you gonna do it?
我要打穿它 I'm gonna punch through it.
- 去吧 山姆 打穿它 - 打穿它 加油 - Go on, Sam! Do it! - Do it! Come on!
天啊 上帝啊 太好了 他成功了 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Yes! He did it!
(听不懂的中文) 你们他妈都有病吧 &%*%$#&$@ What the hell you problems?
声音和《恶搞之家》S09E15中华人洗衣店老板Washee-Washee一样
你们打烂了我的墙 我捅烂你们的墙 You break my wall, I break your wall.
把你们的墙给我 你们他妈的给我… Give me your wall. Give me your mother...
别杀他 折了他的胳膊 Don't kill him. Break his arm off.
我们都要死了 我们都要死了 We all gonna die. We all gonna die.
你们弄烂了我的墙 这已经我家很久了 You break my wall! This my home long time!
你们弄坏了我的墙 混蛋 You break my wall, you bastard men!
抱歉 这是个意外 好么 We're sorry! It was an accident, okay?
我正准备给鸭鸭做晚饭 现在泥灰到处都是 I try to make duck dinner, now plaster everywhere!
哎 冷静 好么 听着 我们能好好谈谈么 Oh, chill out,Okay? look. Can we just talk about this?
- 你叫什么名字 我叫约翰 - 我叫万明 - What's you name? I'm John. - My name Wan Ming!
明 Ming?
你们得全部赔偿这堵墙 这烂摊子 这一堆烂摊子 you paid any dollar for wall! This bullshit! This all bullshit!
明你去死吧 Death to Ming!
强奸啊 Rape!
来吧 放开他 Come on. Let him go.
你们疯了 你们这群疯子 You crazy. You crazy man.
走吧 詹姆斯·弗兰科 Come on. James Franco.
美国演员 出演过《猩球崛起》《蜘蛛侠》等片
你们要为墙付出代价 让开 混蛋 You pay for wall. Move, sucker.
有史以来最棒的一夜了 Greatest night ever!
- 嘿 - 嘿 盖伊 - Hey - Hey, Guy.
你怎么样啊 这是 呃 杰拉德 What's goin' on? This is uh...Gerrard.
瑞安·雷诺兹 主演过《绿灯侠》等
他就是之前揍我那人 现在 呃 我们相爱了 He's the guy who beat me up, and uh...we're in love.
什么 Huh?
原来我是 呃 基佬 随便啦 Turns out I'm uh...gay, or whatever.
我也不知道 I had not idea.
嘿 杰拉德 我们再去弄一杯这个 Hey, Gerrard, let's go grab another one of these.
你怎么样啊 猛男 一起不 How we doin', ace? Comin' down?
呃 我感觉不太舒服 Yeah, I don't feel so good.
噢 那就等几小时 Oh, give it a couple of hours.
你就又生龙活虎了 孩子 你需要赞安诺(镇定药)吗 You'll be golden, pony boy. You want xanax?
噢完了 上帝啊 Oh, shit! Oh, my God!
怎么了 What?
我得 我得走了 I gotta...I gotta go.
萝瑞 我 Lori, I...
萝瑞 Lori!
萝瑞 等等 求你了 Lori, wait! Please!
听着 我很抱歉 我搞砸了 Look, I'm sorry! I messed up!
约翰 我要你今晚就搬出公寓 John, I need you out of the apartment tonight.
- 我能不能 - 给我车钥匙 - Can I... - Give me the car keys!
- 我能不能解释一下 - 不行 - Can I please just explain? - No!
- 听着 我只是 - Look, I was just...
约翰 我已经为你浪费了大把青春 John, I've given up a huge chunk of my life for you!
我本是要进去打个招呼而已 大概5分钟 I was gonna stop in, for like, five minutes,
- 然后飞侠哥顿 - 我只要车钥匙 - and then Flash Gordon... - Just give me the car keys!
萝瑞 萝瑞 求你了 我爱你 Lori. Lori, please! I love you!
嘿 乔尼 你在这儿啊 Hey, Johnny. There you are.
哎呀 我得透透气 You know, I have to get some air
你办公室那家伙在里面的沙发上 that the guy from your office is in there on the couch
正和那个长得像范·维尔德的家伙亲热呢 making out with that Van Wilder looking guy.
瑞安·雷诺兹主演的同名电影《留级之王》
嘿 我他妈想弄死你 我都不想和你说话 Hey, I wanna fuck you. I don't even wanna talk to you.
什么 What?
你知道刚才发什么了吗 Do you know what just happened?
你到底知不知道 我他妈的这辈子刚刚完蛋了 Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended!
噢 得了 她会回家 她会看点《BJ二B日记》 Oh, come on. She'll go home. She'll watch Bridget Jones someting asshole.
系列爱情电影《Bridget Jones's Diary》(BJ单身日记)
她会大哭一场 她会没事的 She'll have a good cry. She'll be fine.
你明天再找她谈好了 上楼来吧 You'll talk to her tomorrow. Come on upstairs.
你有仔细听我说话了吗 Are you even listening to me?
你他妈什么都不在乎吗 Do you give any thread a shit?
我当然有在乎的 乔尼 Of couse I do, Johnny.
永远的雷友 记得吗 Thunder buddys for life, remember?
天啊 萝瑞是对的 Jesus. Lori was right.
我早就不该继续跟你鬼混了 I should have stoped hanging out with you long time ago.
和你一起我永远都不能正常生活 I'm never gonna have a life with you around.
我已经35岁了 却仍然一事无成 I am 35-years old and I am going no where.
成天和个妈逼的泰迪熊一起嗑药看片 All I do was is smoke pot and watch movies with a teddy fucking bear.
因为这个 我刚痛失了此生最爱 Because of that I just lost the love of my life.
乔尼 我 我很抱歉 Johnny, I'm... I'm sorry.
我必须离开你了 泰迪 我不能再见你了 I gota be on my own ted, I cant see you any more.
约翰 等下 听我说 John, wait, listen.
"我爱你" "I love you."
真在看BJ单身日记
这么说觉得工作很有意思 是因为你又单身了 So work is a great fun is that your newly solo?
雷克斯 我有很多工作要做 Rex, I have lot of work need to get to
我有今天晚上诺拉·琼斯在贝壳剧院演出的票 I have tickets to Norah Jones at hatch shell tonight
美国女歌手 本片主题曲的演唱者
如果你可以和我一起去 我会很高兴 And I would love it if you would go with me.
我刚刚才分手一周 你就想泡我么 You are asking me out of a week after I broke up with somebody?
那我就直话直说吧 look I'm gonna cut the shit here
请便 please.
这是你工作这么多年以来 This is the first time that you've been single
第一次恢复单身 in all the years you worked here.
就和我约会一次 Just go out with me one time.
如果这次很糟糕 你很讨厌的话 And if it's miserable and you hate it
那么 我保证 then, I promise
我之后绝不会再给你这方面的暗示了 拜托 I would never even hint at the subject again. Please!
雷克斯 我不认为这是个好主意 Rex, I don't think it's smart.
我是个混蛋 我知道 I'm an asshole.I know that.
从高中起就是了 之后一直都是 It works for me in high school and it has been a reflect ever since.
萝瑞 最坏的情况顶多就是 Lori, the worst it can happen is that
你和一个人过了有趣悠闲的一天 you go on a fun casual day with a guy
那人只想证明自己并不只是一个混球 who just want a chance to prove that he can be something more than a jerk.
而且 你这么好的对象 Plus, you are a huge catch
不值得让人那样对你 despite someone trade you that way
随便吧 好 Fuck it! Fine!
确实 这比我每晚哭到睡着要好 Sure that beats crying myself to sleep every night.
而且如果还能让我摆掉你 那就算额外奖励吧 And if that means getting you off my back, well thats just a bonus
我八点去接你 I'll pick you at 8.
丁丁历险记 奔向月球
乔尼 是我 Johnny! It's me!
走远点 Go away.
乔尼 开门 求你了 我想和你谈谈 Johnny, open the door, please. I want to talk.
天啊 你搞毛啊 Jesus Christ! What the fuck, man.
对不起 乔尼 我知道你很生气 好么 Sorry look,Johnny. I know you are pissed, all right?
就听我说5秒钟 Just listen to me for 5 seconds.
我看到萝瑞和雷克斯一起离开公寓 I saw lori leaving the department with Rex
啥 What?
我说真的 约翰 I'm serious, john.
我去找她想好好谈谈 i went over to talk to her
也许能让她消消对你的气 Maybe take some of the heat off you
但他也在那儿 接走了她 And there he was, picking her up
他们要一起去贝壳剧场 They were going to hatch shell
你真他妈不可理喻 知道吗 You are fucking unbelivable, you know that?
我是说我有那么蠢么 I mean how stupid you think I am?
如果你觉得编点那样的鬼话就会 If you think that by making shit like that you're gonna
让我更忠于你而不是她 make me chose some kind of loyaltiy to you over her
你他妈就大错特错了 You're out your fucking mind.
乔尼 我告诉你的是事实 Johnny, it's the truth I'm telling you.
告诉你吧 滚出去 You know what, get out of here.
知道吗 你看起来像个傻逼 You know, you are acting like a cock, you know that?
啥 我表现得像个傻逼 What? I'm acting like a cock?
是的 你是 所以 闭上上你的肉洞(女阴) 听我说 Yes. You are. So shut your meat hole for a second and listen to me.
肉洞 好像不太对 是不是…不对 Meat hole,that's not right. Is it... No.
布丁洞(菊花) 是这样说得么 不 也不可能是这个 Pudding hole? Is that what they say? No,can't be that neither.
因为你不吃完正餐哪能吃甜点 Coz how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat.
对不 这是平克·弗洛伊德的调调… Right? This is Pink Floyd ..
英国摇滚乐队 前一句出自他们的歌曲"Another Brick In The Wall"
我是说你在为自己做错的事责怪我 Look, the point is you are blaming me for something you did to yourself.
萝瑞对你的评价很对 Lori was right about you.
你一点不懂如何对你的生活负责 You cannot take responsiblity for anything goes on in your life.
哦 你就懂 Oh,you can?
哦 我不需要 我他妈只是只泰迪熊 Oh, I don't have to. I am a fucking teddy bear.
知道么 又不是我绑你拽你去派对的 You know something... I didn't tie you up and drag you to that party.
我希望你来是因为我认为你是我好基友 All right, I wanted you to come because you are supposingly my best friend.
你别站着跟我说话不腰疼 You can't stand there and tell me
难道你从没把萝瑞视为我们友谊的威胁 you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship.
我说 每天早上9点咱俩在沙发上瞎闹 I mean it works out so much better for you when
结果不都是你更占便宜 对吗 you and I get fucked up on the couch at 9am doesn't it?
听听你的话 我难道是可以控制你思想的皇帝"明"吗 Listen to yourself, what am I? Emperor Ming here controlling your mind?
那是你的选择 约翰 That's your choice, John
如果你为此指责我 And if you blaming me
你只是让自己更加像一个窝囊废 You just make yourself looks like a pussy.
有时候我真想回到 You know, sometimes I think back to
八岁的那个圣诞节清晨 that Christmas morning when I was 8 years old
我希望得到的是一只泰迪华斯比(泰迪的宿敌) I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
再说一次 Say that one more time?
泰迪华斯你妈比 Teddy Rux fucking pin.
操你妹的 Fuck man!
他妈的住手 Fucking stop!
你哭什么 Why are you crying?
我的家伙被电视压扁了 My dick got squished by the TV.
哦 我很抱歉 乔尼 I'm,I'm so sorry johnny.
我也是 So am I man.
我爱你 I love you.
我也爱你 I love you too.
听我说 你得让我帮你和萝瑞重归于好 Listen, you gonna let me help you make things right with you and Lori.
已经没有可能了 她恨死我了 There is no putting things right. She's fucking hates me.
不是的 约翰 我们可以 可以挽回她的 No, John, we can, we can get her back.
还记得你十岁那年 Look, remember when you were 10
你用玩具枪打中了那个松鼠 And you hit that squirrel with your BB gun
然后当我们看到它从树上掉下来时 And then when we saw it fall from the tree
我们都哭了 记得吗 we both started crying. You remember?
然后我们跑上前去 试着给它做心肺复苏 And we run up to it and we tried to give it a CPR
然后它活过来了 and it came back to life.
约翰 我们可以再干一次 John, we can do that again.
泰迪 我们压碎了它的肋骨 吹爆了它的肺 Ted, we crush it's rib cage and blew its lungs,
尝试给它心肺复苏 然后它死了 Trying to give it a CPR and it's dead.
走吧 我们出发去贝壳剧场 Come on, we are going to that hatch shell
Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
* 我想在雨中醒来 * * I wanna wake up with the rain *
* 听雨落铁皮屋顶 * * Falling on a tin roof *
* 此刻安享你的臂弯 * * While I'm safe in your arms *
* 所以我只想要你 * * So all I ask is for you *
* 今晚和我远走高飞 * * to come away with me in the night *
* 远走高飞 * * Come away with me *
谢谢 休息一下 马上回来 Thanks, gonna take a short break, we'll be back here soon.
嘿 一起玩筷子呗 你这个爵士乐小荡妇 Hey, play chopsticks, you jazzy slut --
有黄色含义 大家自行脑补吧
嘿 泰迪 Hey teddy!
你好吗 How are you?
你怎么样 你这个毛茸茸的小混球 How are you doing? You fuzzy little asshole!
哟 反正我又不是半穆斯林血统小正妹 Oh, you know I'm not a hot half Muslim chick.
销售了7百万唱片 不过我还马马虎虎吧 with sold 7 million records but I'm hanging there.
是半印度血统 不过还是谢谢 Half indian, but thanks.
管他呢 感谢你们制造911 Whatever,thanks for 9.11.
嘿 给你介绍我最好的哥们 好吗 Hey listen, I want you to meet a good pal of mine, all right?
约翰·伯奈特 诺拉·琼斯 John bennett. Norah Jones.
嘿 Hey.
嘿 汗流浃背 hey, sweaty?
准备好震撼全场了吗 Are you ready to bring down the house?
是的 小姐 谢谢你给我机会 小姐 谢谢 Yes, ma'am. Yeah, thank for the opportunity, miss. Thank you.
天啊 你看起来超正 Jesus, you look fantastic!
你大概不习惯见我穿戴整齐的样子吧 Well, you probably not used to see me fully clothed.
哦 好吧 我和诺拉是2002年 I know right. Me and Norah met in 2002
在贝琳达·卡莱尔家的派对上认识的 at a party at Belinda Carlisle's house.
美国著名歌手
而且我们在冷藏室里笨手笨脚地来了段"毛绒性爱" and we had awkward fuzzy sex in the cold room.
其实对你这没鸡鸡的家伙 表现算是差强人意了 Actually you weren't so bad for a guy with no penis.
是的 我给孩之宝公司写了不少投诉信 yeah, I've written a lot of angry letters to Hasbro about that.
Ted的生产商
谢谢 我得让吉他手休息片刻 先带一个朋友上台来 Thank you. I'm gonna give my chops a rest and bring a friend of mine to stage.
他要唱首歌给听众中一个特殊的女士 And he's gonna sing a song to a special lady in the andience.
他很爱这个女士 请热烈欢迎约翰·伯奈特 who he loves very much ! please give a big hand to John Bennett!
天啊 Oh my god!
我勒个去 holy shit!
我一定要再搞她一次 I am gonna fuck her again.
呃 嗨 我叫约翰·伯奈特 Umm hi, my name is Jonh Bennett.
这首歌献给萝瑞·科林斯 因为我爱你 And this is for Lori Colins, coz I love you
这首总让我回想起生命中最重要的时刻 and the song always reminds me the most important memory in my life
我们相遇的那一晚 The night we met.
这首是来自《八爪女》的主题曲 This is the theme song from the movie Octopussy
All Time High - Rita Coolidge
* 我只想要一两小时的闲暇 * * All I wanted was a sweet distraction for an hour or two *
* 无意做我们已经做过的事 * * Had no intention to do the things we've done *
至少比凯蒂·佩里唱得好 Still better than Katy Perry.
* 可笑的是每逢爱情 你总在无意中发现 * * Funny how it always goes with love, when you don't look, you find *
* 但是我们天生一对 我们行动如一 * * But then we're two of a kind, we move as one *
* 我们身处巅峰 我们将改变过去的一切 * * We're an all time high, we'll change all that's gone before *
- 烂透了 滚下来 - 哎呀 给他个机会嘛 - You suck, get out of the stage! - Oh come on ,give him a chance .
* 我们身处巅峰 我们将改变过去的一切 * * We're an all time high, we'll change all that's gone before *
* 付出那么多 … * * Doin' so much more... *
- 滚下去 混球 - * …却不止为了相爱 * - Get out, asshole. - * ...than falling in love *
哦 天啊 Oh Jesus.
快叫救护车 Someone call an ambulance.
没错 那真是疯了 I know, that was insane!
你有看到那个人是怎么掉在地上了么 Did you see the way that guy's body hit the ground?
就像布娃娃一样 It's like a rag doll.
是的 但我们还是别谈这个了 Yeah, but let's just not talk about that.
你现在想去喝杯酒么 Do you want to go get a a drink after this?
尤其是看到一个人快死了 我觉得我得喝一杯 I feel like I can use one since we seen a guy almost die.
不了 我觉得你还是直接送我回家吧 Uh nope, I think i'd rather just have you take me home.
就一杯 来嘛 One drink,come on.
不了 真的没那个心情 No, not really feeling up to it.
好的 好的 我明白了 All right all right, I get it.
我不怪你 仔细想想 You know I don't blame you. I mean think about it.
他这样让你难堪实在是不公平 It was actually unfair of him to embarrass you like that
只是想澄清一下 我没有觉得难堪 Just to be clear, I'm not embarressed.
约翰和我也许有矛盾 不过至少他试着补救 John and I may have a problem but at least he tried.
知道吗 我真的不想和你再讨论这个问题了 You know what, I don't feel like talking to you about this.
你去哪儿 Where are you going?
打的 回家 Taking a cap,going home.
终于 Finnally.
在下面 没从毛巾底下偷看 我发誓 Down here, not looking up your towel, swear to god.
没从毛巾底下偷看 没有偷看你神秘地带 Not looiking up you towel, not looking at your funny businesses.
泰迪 你来这儿干嘛 Ted, what are you doing here?
我们需要谈谈 I need to talk to you.
听着 如果你是来为了替约翰出头 那就没有 Listen, if you're here to fight John battles for him, it's not...
听着 让我先说好吗 Look, just let me talk first, all right?
之后你想说什么都可以 And then, you can say whatever you want.
听着 约翰十分爱你 胜过这世上的一切 Look, John loves you very much, more than anything in the world.
没有了你 他已经支离破碎 And he is falling into fucking pieces without you.
其实他也知道自己彻底搞砸了 You know, he knows he screwed up huge.
但你得要相信我 这并不全是他的错 But you gotta believe me that it wasn't all his fault.
那晚在雷克斯家 我让他撂下你 他拒绝了 I told him to bail on you that night in Rex's and he said no.
他说不行 他要跟你呆在一起 He said no and he's gonna stay there with you.
我威逼加利诱他 萝瑞 I twisted his arm, Lori.
如果你可以再给他一次机会 So if you would just give him one more chance
我保证 我会离开 并且再也不回来了 I promise I will leave and I'll never come back.
行吗 他将全部都是你的了 All right? he will be all yours.
泰迪 这的确是个好心的提议 但是我不希望你这么做 Ted, that's a really nice offer, but I don't want you to do that.
这是我和约翰的事 并且我不认为这个问题能解决 This is between John and me and I don't think it can be fixed.
是 是因为我 Yeah, because of me
听着 萝瑞 你希望他能成熟 Look, look, lori, you want he be a man
但只要他还有他的泰迪熊 他就一直是个男孩 But as long as he's got his teddy bear. He's always gonna be a boy.
他正在查理酒吧等你 He's waiting down the Charlie's right now.
如果你去那儿 只管和他谈谈好吗 So if you go down there and just talk to him
我会在你回来前消失 永远 I will be gone when you get back, forever.
你会发现 他再也不会害怕雷电了 You'll see, he will never be scared of thunder again.
米狮龙超级托斯卡纳柑橘葡萄柚果酒 Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit.
AB InBev公司生产的果味啤酒
我靠 美国人民真是蛋疼 My god, Americans are imploding.
嗨 泰迪 hi, ted.
靠 Fuck!
萝瑞 Lori
嘿 Hey
你来这儿做什么 What are you doing here?
你要感谢泰迪 You can thank ted.
我应该坐下吗 Should I sit?
当然 如果你想 Yeah, if you want.
好的 OK.
工作还好吧 一切顺利吧 So work's good? Everything good there?
是的 工作还行 Yeah, work's good.
呃 觉得我们不能闲谈一整天 是吧 Well, I guess we cannot make small talk all day, hmm?
和你在一起就好 我只是不知道该怎么表达我想说的 It's OK with you, I just don't know how to say what I want to say.
我可以坐下来告诉你 我很抱歉 OK, I can sit here and tell you I 'm sorry
因为突如其来的变化 我们产生了点误会 It was a huge misunderstanding in a radical change.
我觉得你已经不想听那些废话了 I don't think you wanna hear any of that crap.
我不会再尝试让你重新接受我 你怎么会呢 I'm not gonna try and get you to take me back. Why would you?
我这个垃圾男友陪你度过了四年 I've been a very shity boyfriend for last 4 years.
我配不上你 I don't deserve you.
我知道我没有严肃对待我们的交往 I know I didn't take our relationships seriously
但是萝瑞 我真的爱你胜过生命本身 But Lori, I do love you more than life itself.
我只想…我只想友好地结束它 And I want is... I just want to end on good terms.
这是我欠你的 我希望你可以幸福 你应该得到幸福 I owe that to you, I want you to be happy, you deserve that.
我只希望 我们还可以是朋友 And I just hope, you know, that we can still be friends.
谢谢你的坦诚 Thank you for being so honest.
差不多了 That was pretty much it.
谢谢你能来 Thanks for coming by.
喔 Wow!
正如你所见 你早就成为这个家庭的一分子了 As you can see, you've been part of our family for quite a soon time.
欢迎回家 Welcome home.
嗯 确实挺有趣的 Yeah, It's kind of funny actually.
因为我也给你们照了很多照片放在家中 Coz I did a lot of pictures of you guys at my house.
他完全属于我吗 老爸 Is he all mine, daddy?
是的 我的小赢家 没错 Yes, he is. My little winner. Yes, he is.
泰迪 你来得可真是时候 Teddy you've arrived at a lucky time.
差不多该是罗伯特的游戏时间了 It's almost Robert's playing hour.
我猜你们没有PS3 I am guessing you guys don't have a PS3
我猜你们更像是有着假发木马那种家庭 I'm guessing you're more of a wooden horse with a wig kinda family.
哦 是的 不是 嗯 Yeah, uh yeah, no ,yeah.
是吧 看有个小马车 Yeah, see there's a cart.
泰迪 你现在属于罗伯特了 Ted, you belong to Robert now, okey?
你要听他的话 you do as he says.
你以为自己绑架完就没事了吗 You think you can just get away with a kidnapping?
你狗日的做了个极好的榜样给… There is a nice fucking example you're setting...
我很富有 I'm rich!
对不起 对不起 Sorry, sorry.
其实 泰迪 You know, Ted.
当我还是小孩的时候 我在电视上看到你 when I was a little boy, I saw you in television.
我认为你是我见过的 I thought you were the most amazing
最惊人 最奇妙的东西 most wonderful thing I've ever seen, ever.
所以我问我爸 我能否拥有一个魔力泰迪熊 And I ask my dad if I could have a magical teddy bear too
他说不行 And he said no.
你能发邮件告诉我剩下的故事吗 Can you just email me the rest of the story?
我太心碎了 所以我对自己发誓 I was so heartbroken and I promised myself
如果我有儿子 我永远 永远 if I would have a son I would never ever
不会对他说不 永远 ever say no to him ever.
说不定偶尔要个士力架没能如愿 就不会伤心了 Maybe no to a snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt
我和泰迪会成为好朋友的 爸爸 Me and ted gonna be best friend daddy.
当然 我的小花栗鼠 Yes, you are my little chipmunk.
玩得开心 Happy play time
操他大爷 Jesus fucking christ!
我以前提起过你一次 爸爸为此惩罚了我 I said about you one time, daddy punished me for it.
这故事不错 That's a great story.
我都觉得身临其境了 I feel like I was there.
爸爸让我痛痛 Daddy gave me ouch
现在我也要给你痛痛 And now I have to give you an ouch.
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~ aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh~
好吧 孩子你赢了 我们照你说的做 All right, kid you win, we will do it in your way.
你想要做什么 玩游戏 What do you want to do? want play games?
是游戏时间了吧 我们干嘛不玩游戏呢 It's playtime, right? Why don't we game?
好啊 我爱玩游戏 Yeah, I love playing games
好 好 呃 咱们来想想 Good, good. Uh, all right. We will see.
不如玩捉迷藏怎么样 How about we play little game hide and seek?
我爱捉迷藏 我去躲 I love hide and seek, I'll hide.
哎 稍微等一下 Well, now. Hang on a sec there.
你爸爸希望你有教养 对吧 胖墩麦肥屌 Your dad want you to show good manners. Right, Tubby McFatfuck?
好吧 你先躲 OK, you hide first.
好 太好了 Great, fantastic, okey.
现在 你数到100然后试着找到我 行吧 now, you count to 100 and then you try to find me, okey?
玩之前我需要洗手吗 Do I need to wash my hand before I play this game?
不 真是见鬼的烂问题 赶紧开始数吧 No! That's a fucking weird question! No! Just start counting.
一 One
二 two
三 Three
四 Four
五 Five
六 Six
七 Seven
对了 不要偷看 不然得癌症 Ok, no peeking now,or you'll get kid cancer.
八 Eight
九 Nine
十 Ten
十一 Eleven
十二 Twelve
十三 Thirteen
I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany
* 幼稚如孩童 * * Children behave *
* 人们是如此形容我俩 * * That's what they say when we're together *
* 再看看你的表现 * * And watch how you play *
* 他们不懂 于是我们… * * They don't understand, and so we're *
* 竭尽全力跑起来 * * Running just as fast as we can *
* 抓住彼此的手 * * Holdin' on to one another's hand *
* 此刻只剩下你和我 * * I think we're alone now *
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
一个人走回家吗 Walking home alone, huh?
是的 Yeah.
需要打个便车么 Do you need a lift?
哦 没事 我听说 如果我被强暴了 Oh, I'm ok. I mean if I get raped,
那也是因为我的穿着不合适 then it would be my fault for what I'm wearing.
听着 约翰 Listen John
我也有话要对你说 There's something I need to say you too.
[屏蔽] Blocked
约翰 我希望… John I hope that...
我不想让你觉得… I don't what you to think that...
抱歉 Sorry.
我想咱们应继续谈谈 因为我觉得也许… I wanna us to keep talking, because I think that maybe...
不论是谁 你打的真不是时候 Whoever this is, it's not a good time
约翰 是我 能听到么 John! It's me! Can you hear me?
泰迪 听着 我得过会儿回你电话 Ted? Listen, I gotta call you back.
别挂 约翰 我遇到麻烦了 No, John! Don't hang up! I'm in trouble.
什么意思 什么麻烦 What do you mean? What kind of trouble?
他们抓住了我 公园里的那怪咖 还有那小孩 They got me, the freaky guy from the park and the kid
应该是他的儿子 可又像他基友 搞不清楚 who I think is his son but may also be his lover! I don't know.
哎哎哎 慢点 你在哪儿 Oooh, slow down! Where are you?
我不太确定 是… I'm not sure, it's...
喂 喂 约翰 Hello? Hello? John?
你还真是个不识抬举的客人 对吧 You're not a very polite guest, are you?
见鬼 Shit!
泰迪 喂 泰迪 Ted? Hello? Ted!
什么事啊 他还好么 What's the matter? Is he OK?
不晓得 I don't know.
他在哪儿 Where is he?
我不知道 他只说遇到麻烦了 I don't know. He just say he is in trouble.
你能打回去么 Can you call it back?
不行 被屏蔽了 No. It's blocked.
等下 Wait a second.
有办法了 走哥伦布大道到希尔顿 上高速路 Got it! Take Columbus to Hylton, get on the Express way
你好 911吗 我需要警察紧急支援 Hello 911? I need police right away.
有人绑架了我家泰迪 This guy took my Teddy bear.
喂 Hello?
放我出去 你个疯子 Let me out! You crazy bastard.
哦 我听到一个小胖墩在跑 Oh oh! I hear a fat kid running!
我听到一个小胖墩在跑 我敢说一定笑死人了 I hear a fat kid running! I bet it's hilarious.
放我出去 我是美利坚合众国的公民 Let me out of here! I am the citizen of the United states of America.
我有权… And I have right to...
罗伯特 系好安全带 Robert, seatbelt!
他们一定就在附近 They gotta be there somewhere.
乔尼 Johnny!
等等 停下 停下 就是他们 就是他们 调头 WOW Stop! Stop! That's them! That's them! Turn around.
跟紧了 Stay with them.
坐稳了 Hang on!
退后 苏珊大妈 Back off! Susan Boyle!
英国达人秀冠军 体型"壮硕"
- 天哪 他要跳了 - 靠近点 - Oh my god! He's gonna jump! - Get closer.
- 小心 - 加油 泰迪 - Oh easy! - Come on! Ted!
哦 见鬼 吔 Oh shit! YES!
嘿 乔尼 绝对是《胡克警探》里的 是吧 HEY Johnny! Total T.J Hooker! Right?
美国1982年电视剧
没错 太他妈的像了 Yes! Fucking A right!
哦 见鬼 Oh Shit!
快 快 快 Go! Go! Go!
老爸 Daddy!
咱们来看看你对道路有多熟 Let's see how well you know these streets.
跑哪儿去了 Where is he?
老天 Jesus!
在那儿 靠边 Here he is! Pull over.
不 别想夺走我的泰迪熊 Noooooo! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY TEDDY BEAR!
我的天啊 Holy Shit!
抱歉 总有人得虐一下这个熊孩子 Sorry, somebody had to go Joan Crawford on that kid
琼·克劳馥 虐童女星
快 Come on!
泰迪 TED!
我的天 OH MY GOD!
貌似是著名的芬威球场(Fenway Park) 波士顿红袜队的主场
见鬼 Shit!
- 神呐 呆在这 呆在这 - 不不 约翰 - Jesus! Stay here! Stay here! - No no no! John!
你是我的 泰迪 You are mine! Ted!
去你的 伙计 我属于约翰·伯奈特 Screw you, pal! I belong to John Bennett!
但是我可以给你爱 But I can give you love.
给你豪华的房子 Rocking houses.
还有秧歌 And dancing!
我觉得就这一点我们很不合拍 I think we are very far apart on this.
- 泰迪 - 乔尼 - Ted! - Johnny!
我的天 Oh my god!
泰迪 Ted!
约翰 John.
萝瑞 碎片捡起来 全都捡回来 Lori! Get the stuff! Get it all.
乔尼 Johnny.
你会没事的 伙计 明白吗 你会没事的 You're gonna be OK, buddy. You understand? You're gonna be fine.
上帝 我看起来像《异形》里的机器人 Jesus! I look like the robot frome Aliens.
不 看着我 我保证 你会没事的 No! Look at me, buddy! I promise you, you gonna be OK.
不 我不这么觉得 No, I don't think so.
我… 我凶多吉少 I'm... I'm in trouble.
我得… 我得告诉你 I need... I need tell you something.
什么 What is it?
不要…不要再失去她了 Don't... Don't ever lose her again.
她是你生命中… She is the most important...
生命中最重要的一部分 Most important part of your life
比我重要的多 Even more than me.
她是你现在的雷友了 She is your thunder buddy now.
她是… She is...
找到了 I got it!
亲爱的 我觉得这不会管用的 Baby, I don't feel this gonna work.
拜托 只管试一试 Please! Just try.
加油 伙计 Come on, buddy.
真的很遗憾 I'm so sorry.
你已经尽力了 You did everything you could.
真的很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
泰迪 Ted!
我活过来了 乔尼 I'm alive, Johnny!
我的天啊 Oh my god!
我活过来了 你的魔法愿望成真了 I'm alive, your magic wish worked!
你回来了 You're back!
是啊 不过当你把我缝起来的时候 Yeah! I mean when you sealed me up,
你有些东西塞错地方了 约翰 you put some of the stuff in the wrong places. John.
我现在有点脑瘫 I'm a little fucked up.
但你会照顾我一辈子的 对吗 But will you take care of me forever and ever?
哈 开个玩笑 No I'm just kidding!
我以为你看到我脑残了 会很好笑 I thought it would be funny if you saw me was fucking retarded.
你个混蛋 You asshole.
过来 你个畜生 Come here, you bastard!
欢迎回来 泰迪 Welcome back, Ted!
是你 你成功了 It was you! You did it.
我勒个去 是你祈愿我活过来的 Son of bitch! You wish for my life back.
不 我祈愿我的生活能回到从前 No, no. I wish for my life back.
- 我爱你 - 我也爱你 - I love you. - I love you too.
我想让你知道 I want you to know that.
经过昨晚 我再也不想 After last night, I do ever wanna
失去生命中任何一个重要的人了 lose anyone who is matters to me ever again.
我迫不及待想要生活重新开始 I'm not gonna wait any longer for my life to start.
萝瑞 嫁给我好吗 Lori, would you marry me?
除了你 我别无所求 约翰·伯奈特 All I ever wanted is you, John Bennett.
于是 约翰 萝瑞和泰迪 之后过上了幸福的生活 And so, John, Lori and Ted lived happily ever after.
他们终于发现 他们真正需要的只是彼此 having discovered at last, that all they really needed is each other.
约翰和萝瑞在剑桥结了婚 John and Lori married in Cambridge.
这是马萨诸塞州的剑桥 不是英国的剑桥
请来了非常特殊的证婚人 By a very special justice of the peace.
根据我被赋予的权利 By the power invested in me.
代表纽约喷气机队 By the New York Jets.
代表芒哥星球的居民们 By the United people of the planet Mongo.
《飞侠哥顿》故事发生的地方
我现在宣布 你们结为夫妇 I now pronounce you, man and wife.
你可以亲吻新娘了 乔尼 You may kiss the bride, Johnny!
- 汤姆·斯凯里特 - 汤姆·斯凯里特 哇 - Tom Skerritt - Tom Skerritt WOW!
很高兴你能来 Thanks a lot for coming.
我女儿最好还活着 你这丧心病狂的畜生 My daughter better still be alive, you sick son of a bitch.
胁迫Tom来的吗 O(∩_∩)O
我真是…为她假装高兴 I'm so... fake happy for her.
知道么 山姆 只有一种方式来结束这完美的一天 You know what, Sam, there's only one way to end this perfect day.
什么 what's that?
飞侠闪跳 Flash jump!
没错 Right
一 二 三 吔 One! Two! There! Yeah!
这个故事讲的就是一个神奇愿望 And that's the story how one magic wish
永远改变了三个特别好友的一生 Forever change the life of three very special friends.
泰迪和塔米林长期以来一直继续着他们的热恋 Ted and Tami Lynn continue their torrid love affair for quite some time.
一天下午 泰迪被抓到躲在熟食专柜后面 One afternoon, Ted was caught behind the deli counter
舔吃塔米林光屁股上的土豆沙拉 eating potato salad on Tami-Lynn's bare bottom.
他立马被提升为超市经理 He was instantly promoted to store manager.
山姆·琼斯回到了好莱坞 Sam Jones move back to Hollywood
决心重新开始他的电影生涯 With the goal to restart his film career.
他最近签约伯班克的一家工作室 He currently resigned in Burbank
加州城市 驻有许多媒体 娱乐巨头公司
与室友布兰登·劳斯共用一间工作间 And share a studio apartment with his roommate Brandon Routh
记得布兰登·劳斯吗 就是那个遭天谴的《超人归来》男主角 remember brandon routh? From that god awful Superman movie.
老天 感谢你吊起了我们胃口 又奉上一部屎作烂片 Jesus Christ! Thanks for getting our hopes up, take a giant shit on us.
雷克斯被迫放弃追求萝瑞 Rex was force to give up his pursuit of Lori,
没过多久 他陷入了极度的沮丧 Not long after, he falling into a deep depression
随后死于卢伽雷氏病 and dies of Lou Gehrig's disease
唐尼被波士顿警方逮捕 Donny was arrested by Boston police,
罪名是绑架毛绒玩具 charged with kidnapping a plush toy.
不过这项指控后被撤销 The charges were dropped
因为大家都意识到听起来太荒唐 when everyone realized how completely stupid it sounded.
罗伯特找到了一个教练 减了不少膘 Robert got a trainer, lost substantial amount of weight.
终于摇身一变成了泰勒·洛纳 And went on to become Taylor Lautner.
《暮光之城》中饰演狼人