现在 一场由派拉蒙+呈现的电视电影 And now, a Paramount Plus made-for-TV movie.
"不是电影 而是电视电影" "It's not a movie... it's a made-for-TV movie."
从佛蒙特州的葱茏群山 From the green hills of Vermont
到亚利桑那州的青翠峡谷 to the verdant canyons of Arizona,
全国人民开始意识到 people all over the country are beginning to realize
纽约时报: 疫情即将结束
它就要结束了 it's nearly over!
我们就要击溃新冠 而最好的消息是 We have almost beaten COVID and the best news of all:
一切 终于 回到正轨
感染率处于历史最低水平 Infections are at an all-time low.
新的 更强的疫苗削弱了疫情的势头 New, stronger vaccinations have ebbed the tide.
我们人类正在收拾残局 And we humans are cleaning up the mess
终于又过上了自己的生活 and finally getting on with our lives.
Zoom: 线上开会软件
但正当我们回到我们的工作和学校时 But as we start to get back to our jobs and schools,
还有一个问题未解决 one question remains:
斯坦·马什有新来电
疫情会给孩子们留下 What lingering effects
怎样的阴影呢 will the pandemic have on children?
有人说不会有影响 孩子们都很好 Some say no effect at all. The children are just fine.
我们齐聚一堂 We came together
终于能够说 我们对于新冠的抗争要开始 and finally we can say, we are starting to
- 转败为胜了 - 斯坦 - win the war against COVID. - Stan?
斯坦 有你的电话 Stan, the phone's for you!
斯坦 Stan!
怎么啦 What?!
你听不见我吗 Could you not hear me?
可以啊 但我正忙着呢 Yeah, dude, but I'm busy working.
又忙着灌醉自己吗 Working on getting drunk again.
我不是“灌醉” I'm not "getting drunk,"
我是个线上的威士忌顾问 I'm an online whiskey consultant.
我在做研究 I'm doing research.
我不想有人来打搅我 Everyone needs to leave me alone.
打电话来的人说事情很重要 The guy on the phone said it's important.
他说他的名字是凯尔·布罗夫斯基 He said his name is Kyle Broflovski.
凯尔 Kyle?
- 你好 - 哦 嗨 - Hello? - Oh, hi.
是南方公园的斯坦·马什吗 Is this Stan Marsh, from South Park?
- 凯尔吗 - 哦 兄弟 是你啊 - Kyle? - Oh, dude, it is you!
你过得 你过得还好吗 How have you... How have you been?
我 很好 你呢 I'm... fine. How are you?
我挺好的 我 I'm good, I'm...
我知道这很奇怪 我们很久没说过话了 自从 I know this is weird. We haven't talked since...
你知道的 自从一切开始之后 well, you know, since it all happened.
是啊 不过 疫情快要结束了 Yeah, well, the pandemic is about over now.
我的生活也要继续了 I'm moving on with my life.
斯坦 你应该回来的 Stan... you should come back here.
发生了很多事情 There's a lot going on.
我在南方公园没什么可以留恋的了 凯尔 There's nothing in South Park for me, Kyle!
我不会回去的 再也不会了 I'm not going back there, ever.
听着 兄弟 你还记得我们小时候吗 Look, dude, you remember when we were little?
当疫情 刚刚开始的时候 When the pandemic... first started.
当一切变糟的时候 Us friends said we'd always be there
我们这些朋友们说我们会永远守望相助 for each other when things got bad.
你是什么意思 发生了什么 What do you mean? What's happened?
斯坦 Stan...
是肯尼 他死了 It's Kenny. He's dead.
南方公园 后疫情时代
这是来自纽约市 Live from the Moderna Center
莫德纳中心的现场直播 in downtown New York,
这里是吉米今夜秀 it's Late Night With Jimmy!
今晚的嘉宾是 第一夫人汤姆·卡戴珊 Tonight's guest, First Lady Tom Kardashian!
现在请幽默之王 吉米 隆重登场 And now here he is, the king of woke comedy, Jimmy!
哇 真棒的观众啊 Wow, what a terrific audience.
你们真棒 哇哦 What a fantastic audience, wow.
天啊 这些墨西哥人是怎么回事 嗯 Geez, what's the deal with these Mexicans, huh?
我说 他们有着绝好的美食 I mean, they have fabulous food,
他们国家有绝赞的海滩 their country has amazing beaches,
而且他们真是不错的人 and they're really fantastic people.
哇 多伟大的观众 Wow, what a great audience.
你知道 今天我在地铁上 You know, today I was on the subway
我在中心地铁站看到了一则广告 and I saw an ad for the Center for People
是服务于自称同性恋但天生双性恋者的 Who Identify as Homosexual But Were Born Bi.
你们看了吗 Have you seen this?
你们听说这事了吗 Have you heard about this?
我要告诉你们 I'll tell you one thing...
这些人是勇敢的 those people are brave and deserve
并且值得被尊重 every ounce of our respect.
别走开 S-Stick around.
第一夫人汤姆·卡戴珊今天来了 First Lady Tom Kardashian is here.
我们马上回来 We'll be right back!
吉米 我们接到公司的电话 Jimmy, we got a call from corporate.
他们想让你别再拿鹰嘴豆泥开玩笑了 They want you to cut the hummus joke.
什么 What?!
这年头要搞笑已经够难了 It's hard enough doing comedy these days.
现在广告休息时段都要接指令吗 Now I'm getting notes during commercial breaks?!
你只要拿别的东西开玩笑就行了 You're just gonna have to joke about something else.
好吧 还有什么新闻 All right, fine, what else is going on in the news?
赶紧告诉我 Quick!
啊 亚马逊觉得 Uh, Amazon thinks
他们在火星上发现了黄金 they might have discovered gold on Mars.
天啊 还有别的吗 Ah, Jesus. Anything else?
那个著名的古怪的科学家死了 Uh, that famous eccentric scientist died.
那个百万富翁慈善家 麦科米克博士 The millionaire philanthropist? Dr. McCormick?
肯尼 肯尼死了 Kenny? Kenny's dead?
哦 我很抱歉 你认识他吗 Oh, I'm sorry, did you know him?
我们是发小呢 让我看看 We were friends when we were kids. Let me see that!
"非常神秘的情况" "Very mysterious circumstances."
医生们是这么说的 That's what doctors are saying about
敬爱的科学家和慈善家之死 the death of beloved scientist
肯尼·麦科米克博士 and humanitarian, Dr. Kenny McCormick.
麦科米克是科学技术的先驱 McCormick was a pioneer of science and technology
他一直致力于 who was always trying to
解锁更好的未来 unlock the key to a better future.
他不知疲倦地工作 有人说是疯狂地过劳 He worked tirelessly... some say balls-out crazily...
钻研新的发明和理论 on new inventions and theories
但他似乎还是未能解决最大的问题 but somehow his biggest questions seemed to elude him.
NASA的负责人说 "我们失去了 The head of NASA said, "We have lost
一位变革者和前瞻者" "an innovator and a visionary.
"肯纳是如此聪明以至于大多数时候 "Kenny was so brilliant that most of the time,
我们都无法听懂他在说什么" we couldn't even understand what he was saying."
给我买张去南方公园的头等舱机票 Get me a first-class ticket to South Park!
什么 你不能走 你还要上台呢 What? You can't leave! You have to get back onstage!
第一夫人在这呢 The first lady is here!
叫汤姆·卡戴珊去我休息室 Tell Tom Kardashian to suck my
吸我的鸡 鸡 冰棍吧 P-P-Popsicles that are in the green room,
还有替我致歉 and that I am very sorry,
再告诉他他是个很棒的人 and that he is a fantastic person.
基诺沙通道 开放 感谢全球变暖（美国北部原本应大雪封路）
斯坦 Stan?
斯坦 醒醒 我想我们到了 Stan, wake up, I think we're here.
所以就是这儿了吗 So that's it, huh?
- 这就是你长大的小镇吗 - 是的 - That's the town you grew up in? - Yeah.
那你在这么多年后回来 Well, how does it feel to be back
有什么感受呢 after all these years?
感觉很差劲 好吗 你能不能闭嘴 It feels shitty, okay? Can you please shut the fuck up?
如果你没打算让我帮你忙的话 Why did you even bring me along if you're not going
那为什么要带我来呢 to let me help you through this?!
Alexa 闭嘴 Alexa, stop!
Alexa：亚马逊的智能语音助手
♪ 我不想坐在这里 但我无处可去 ♪ ♪ I can't sit here while I go nowhere ♪
修理店+
南方公园小学 +
♪ 在污浊的空气中追逐我的梦想 ♪ ♪ Chase my dreams through the polluted air ♪
♪ 我如履薄冰 ♪ ♪ Walking on a wire ♪
南方公园市政厅
♪ 任时间流逝 ♪ ♪ Running out of time ♪
♪ 我的心已经装不下其他 ♪ ♪ There's no room in this ol' heart of mine ♪
斯塔克斯池塘
百思买豪华版
罗斯+
T.J.尊享
灯++
♪ 要承受的压力太大 ♪ ♪ So much pressure to keep holdin' on ♪
♪ 收好行李 宝贝 我要走了 ♪ ♪ Pack my clothes up, baby, I'll be gone ♪
豪华水族馆
♪ 振奋起来 我要告别今日 ♪ ♪ Stir it up, I've got to break it up now ♪
♪ 当我想到明天 ♪ ♪ When I think about tomorrow ♪
公园县警局 招工
♪ 我便忍不住 ♪ ♪ I can't wait to ♪
♪ 振奋起来 ♪ ♪ Stir it up ♪
♪ 摇晃起来 ♪ ♪ Got to shake it up now ♪
♪ 如果是要靠乞讨或借来 ♪ ♪ If I have to beg or borrow ♪
♪ 我不想要 ♪ ♪ I don't wanna ♪
狗狗验光 护眼 白内障 角膜移植
♪ 再忍受了 ♪ ♪ Take it anymore ♪
♪ 我要告别现状 ♪ ♪ Got to break it up now ♪
♪ 当我想到明天 ♪ ♪ When I think about tomorrow ♪
丹尼苹果蜂豪华餐厅
♪ 我忍不住要振奋起来 ♪ ♪ I can't wait to stir it up. ♪
进来吧 激活你的味蕾 Come on in and let your taste buds soar!
洁食（犹太食物） 无肉
尼餐厅现在变成了丹尼苹果蜂豪华餐厅 Denny's is now Denny's Applebee's Max.
来尝尝不一样的味道 Come taste the difference.
蛋白胶囊 米饭味 鸡肉味
- 你好 兄弟 - 你好 兄弟 - Hey, dude. - Hey, dude.
哇 真是不可思议 不是吗 Wow. This is crazy, huh?
多少年过去了 I mean, how long has it been?
我想 我们那时才9岁 I guess... since we were nine.
坐吧 Well, have a seat.
你在忙什么呢 What have you been up to?
哦 兄弟 什么事都做 Oh, dude, just all kinds of stuff.
你知道 维持生活罢了 You know, getting stuff going.
做在线威士忌顾问 Got my own online whiskey consultant gig.
我很快乐 你呢 I'm totally happy. What about you?
我也在做一些事呢 Oh, I'm getting things going, too.
我在做在线创业咨询 I'm doing a sort of counseling online start-up thing.
也做得不错 Really doing great, too.
- 真好 - 听着 斯坦 - Sweet. - Listen, Stan...
我知道我们在疫情期间意见相左 I know that we disagreed a lot during the pandemic,
但我希望我们能抛开往事 but I hope we can put that aside...
凯尔 我只是为肯尼而来的 Dude, Kyle, I'm just here for Kenny.
好吧 All right, well,
关于肯尼的死 there's something you should know
有些事你应该了解一下 about the way Kenny died.
你们好 欢迎来到丹尼苹果蜂豪华餐厅 Hi, guys, welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max.
我见你们都打开菜单了 I see you got your menus already.
应该决定好点什么菜了吧 As you're deciding what to order,
我只是来确认一下 I just want to go over a couple things.
当然了 这已经是未来了 Now, of course, it is the future
因此我们的菜单上不会再有任何肉类 so we don't have any meat on the menu.
因为在未来 'Cause you know, here in the future,
我们一致认为吃肉是不对的 we've all decided meat is wrong.
是的 我们知道 Yeah, we know.
你看 菜单上有一些菜品 Okay, and, uh, you'll see there's
是用昆虫蛋白做的 some dishes made from insect protein on the menu.
当然了 因为这是未来 That, of course, is because here in the future,
我们都知道昆虫是 we've all learned that insects are
有价值可持续的食物 avaluable and sustainable
我们也不再害怕吃它们了 food and we no longer fear it as a food.
我们知道 伙计 We know, dude.
好吧 如果你们有什么疑问 Okay, well, if you have any questions,
尽管提出来 please don't hesitate
因为 你懂的 这是未来 to say anything, because, you know, it's the future.
我们知道一切都是 We've learned to all just
为了与他人友好相处 get along and love each other.
听着 斯坦 肯尼在试着寻找 Look, Stan, Kenny was trying to find
一些重要问题的答案 the answers to some pretty heavy stuff.
他觉得有人应该 He felt like there were people responsible
对发生的这一切负责 for everything that's happened.
比如谁呢 Like who?
就这些 没人知道 That's just it. Nobody knows.
但不管这些人是谁 But whoever these people are,
他们都不想被肯尼·麦科米克曝光 they didn't want Kenny McCormick exposing them.
等一下 你是托肯吗 Wait a minute. Token?
对 是我 Yeah, it's me.
在他死前 肯尼给我发信息说 Just before he died, Kenny was texting me
他在研究巨大的秘密 that he was on to something huge.
他也发信息给我了 And he was texting me, too.
说他会发现一些 Saying he'd discovered something that
能改变世界的东西 could change the world.
然后他就死了 And then he died,
医院拒绝透露死因 and the hospital won't say how.
这让我们在想 And that got us thinking...
我的天呐 他们杀了肯尼 Oh, my God. They killed Kenny.
我只是来参加葬礼的 I'm just here for the funeral.
我不想趟这浑水 I don't want to be a part of anything else.
兄弟 也许有人要为毁了我们的童年 Dude, there might be people to blame
负所有责任 for ruining our childhoods.
那你想干嘛 凯尔 So what do you wanna do, Kyle?
去像小时候一样瞎冒险吗 Go on some bullshit adventure like when we were kids?
也许 也许我们能联系耶稣和撒旦 Maybe, maybe we can call Jesus and Santa
然后向他们求助 你是想这样吗 and ask them for help. Is that what you want?
这是在未来 伙计们 成熟点吧 It's the fucking future, you guys. Grow up.
超级12汽车旅馆+欢迎您
你好 欢迎来到超级12汽车旅馆+ Hello, welcome to the Super 12 Motel Plus.
- 有什么能帮你吗 - 是的 我叫斯坦·马什 - Can I help you? - Yeah, Stan Marsh.
我订了一晚的房间 I have a room for one night.
好的 我看你订了我们的 Okay, I see you're in one of our
十马赫超级+房间 Mach Ten Super Plus rooms.
现在 当然了 我们只收比特币 Now, of course, we only take Bitcoin
以及其他数字货币 因为 and other cryptocurrency 'cause,
你懂的 现在未来 you know, it's the future.
我们都一致认为中央银行被操控了 We've all decided centralized banking is rigged,
所以我们更信任不可靠的庞氏骗局 so we trust more in fly-by-night Ponzi schemes.
是啊 我知道 Yeah, I know.
所以你抛弃了你所有的朋友 So you walked out on all your friends and then
然后在酒馆度过了一天吗 just hung out at a bar all day?
Alexa 你他妈就自己跳窗吧 Alexa, fucking just go throw yourself out a window.
很抱歉 我不理解你的指令 I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that.
没什么 Alexa 开电视 Nothing. Alexa, turn on the TV.
天哪 你真是一坨废物 Oh, God, you are such a piece of shit.
你知道 You know,
如果你有远程金牌会员 if you had Remote Prime membership,
你就能随时随地观看亚马逊电影了 you could watch Amazon movies wherever you go.
你想办一个吗 Would you like to get started?
- 不 - 我很抱歉 - No. - I'm sorry.
我在试着帮你丫呢 I'm trying to be fucking helpful.
你为什么不成熟点 表现得像个大人 Why don't you grow up and start acting like an adult
哪怕一次也好啊 for once in your life...
亚莉克莎 停下 Alexa, stop!
甘霖娘 Fuck you!
乔恩 我正站在 Jon, I'm standing outside
南方公园超快车站外 the South Park Flash Rail Max,
有上百人正赶来 where hundreds of people are coming to
向肯尼·麦科米克博士致敬 pay their respects to Dr. Kenny McCormick.
医院仍未透露 There's still no word from the hospital
肯尼·麦科米克的死因是什么 on what exactly killed Kenny McCormick,
但寄给多家新闻媒体的信件揭示了 but letters sent to multiple news outlets reveal
他也许察觉到了他的生命受到威胁 that he might have known his life was in danger.
肯尼·麦科米克博士说 "我将要揭露真相" Dr. McCormick said, "I am about to expose the truth.
"以防我遭遇不测 我已经藏好了 "In the event of my death I have hidden away
"所有相关信息 "all relevant information.
我最亲密的朋友们会知道去哪里找到它" My closest friends will know where to find it."
肯尼·麦科米克博士 Dr. Kenneth McCormick.
他想要将未来变得更好 He wanted to make the future a better place.
可惜他死了 因为未来肯定糟透了 Too bad he died, 'cause the future certainly sucks.
♪ 有人在敲门 ♪ ♪ Someone's at the door ♪
♪ 门铃唱起来 ♪ ♪ This is the doorbell ♪
♪ 门铃唱道 这是未来 ♪ ♪ It's the future so doorbells sing. ♪
好了 我知道了 Yeah, I know.
好了 你是对的 Okay, so you were right.
肯尼在对付某些坏人 Kenny was on to some bad people
他还藏起了某些东西让我们去找 and he hid something for us to find.
我明白了 问题是 Yeah, I saw. Only problem is
我不知道他在说什么 I don't know what he's talking about.
但谢谢你赞同我 But thank you for saying I was right.
不客气 但这也不代表 You're welcome. It doesn't mean that you were right
你在疫情期间一切都是正确的 about everything during the pandemic.
因为你错了 Because you weren't.
好吧 显然 Okay, well, obviously
我们永远不会在某些事上达成一致 we're never going to agree on certain things,
所以我们不应该提它们了 so we shouldn't talk about them.
听起来不错 我们去为肯尼守灵吧 Sounds good. So let's go to Kenny's wake
看看有没有其他人出现 and see if anyone else shows up
他又是否知道肯尼所指何物 who might know what Kenny's talking about.
走吧 Let's do that.
南方公园社区活动中心+
缅怀 肯尼·麦科米克 肯尼安息吧
试麦试麦 大家好 Hello. Testing. Hey, everybody.
看到你们都来为肯尼守灵真是不可思议 It's amazing to see you all here for Kenny's wake.
哇 多么棒的观众啊 Wow, what a great audience.
我先自我介绍一下 Uh, for those of you who don't know,
我叫吉米·瓦梅尔 my name is Jimmy Valmer and, uh,
我今天不得不搭乘亚洲航空的飞机到这里 I had to take an Asian airline to get here today.
你们知道他们是怎么评价亚洲航空的 You know what they say about Asian airlines...
他们很可靠 也很高效 they're dependable and just as efficient
和其他称职的航空公司一样 as any other competent airline.
多好的观众啊 What a terrific audience.
这么多人今天为肯尼而来 So many people have come for Kenny today...
这么多好朋友我已经好多年没见了 so many amazing friends I haven't seen in ages.
你知道 我曾经有个朋友 You know, I had a friend once
是波兰的发型师 who was a Polish hair stylist.
谈论了一个发美价廉的发型 Talked about an amazing haircut at an affordable price.
我知道 我们全都准备好了 Well, I know that we're all ready
互相谈心 分享我们对肯尼的记忆 to talk to each other and share our memories of Kenny.
所以请大家尽兴 我们明天 So please just have fun and we'll see you
葬礼上见 at the funeral tomorrow.
♪ 我们都 你和我 ♪ ♪ We are all, you and me ♪
♪ 我们都生活在未来 ♪ ♪ We are all living in the future ♪
♪ 我们都生活在未来 ♪ ♪ We are all in the future... ♪
斯坦 Stan?
- 斯坦·马什 - 怎么了 - Stan Marsh? - Yeah?
嗨 我是温蒂 Hi. It's Wendy.
温蒂·特斯伯格 哇 Wendy Testaburger, wow.
是啊 这是我丈夫 达尔文 Yeah. My husband, Darwin.
你好 伙计 过得还好吗 Hey, pal, how are ya?
嘿 大伙儿 我们是特维克和克雷格 Hey, guys. It's Tweek and Craig.
哦 你们好 过得怎么样 Oh, hey. How are you guys?
我们很好 We're good.
我很焦虑 I have a lot of anxiety
要回来见这些人 being back with all these people!
温蒂和我讲了很多关于你的事 斯坦 Wendy's told me a lot about you, Stan.
家里还好吗 How's everything with the family?
不好意思 我要去喝一杯了 Excuse me, I'm gonna go get a drunk.
- 斯坦怎么了 - 我们只是 - What's wrong with Stan? - We're just...
想知道肯尼到底遭遇了什么 trying to find out what happened to Kenny.
我觉得事情比你们想象中的更加黑暗 I think this goes deeper than you guys realize.
嘿 斯坦·马什 你好啊 Hey, Stan Marsh! Good to see you.
是我 克莱德·多诺文 It's me, Clyde Donovan.
噢 嗨 克莱德 Oh, hey, Clyde.
疫情期间你都在忙啥啊 What have you been doing during the pandemic?
噢 忙的事情可多着呢 Oh, you know, lots of stuff.
我也是 肯尼的事情真糟心 Yeah, me, too. Sucks about Kenny, huh?
希望他们能找到肯尼 Hope they find all the information
- 藏起来的信息 - 你知道 - on that thing he hid. - You know
他可能会藏在哪里吗 where he might have hid it?
我不知道 不过我打赌这儿肯定有人知道 No, I don't. But I bet someone here does.
能见到你们大伙儿真的太棒了 It's really great to see you guys again.
过去这几十年真的很艰难 These past few decades have been really tough.
对啊 有时我都觉得是疫情让我变老的 Yeah, sometimes I think the pandemic really aged me.
凯尔 能借步说话吗 Kyle, can I talk to you for a second?
- 兄弟 他来了 - 谁来了 - Dude, he's here. - Who's here?
- 卡特曼吗 - 是啊 但是他变了好多 - Cartman? - Yeah, but he's changed.
变得什么样了 Changed how?
是的 我知道 我们已经很久 Yes, I know, it's been a long time
没见面了 since we've seen each other.
我过得很好 I'm doing really well.
实际上我现在可是科罗拉多泉那边 I'm actually the head of Gespetzah Synagogue
盖斯佩萨犹太教堂的头头呢 down in Colorado Springs.
拉比:熟悉《圣经》和口传律法而担任犹太教会众精神领袖或宗教导师的人
你们能相信吗 我成了拉比 Can you believe it? I'm a rabbi.
你知道 自从新冠发生以来 Yeah, you know, when the whole pandemic happened,
它改变了我很多 I think it changed me.
让我变成了一个更好的人 It really changed me for the better.
- 真的吗 - 才不是 - It did? - No.
- 他绝对是是在整我 - 什么 对了 - He's fucking with me. - What? Oh, yeah.
我懂了 你们以前认识的埃里克·卡特曼 Yeah, I get it, the Eric Cartman you guys knew
不像是会成为拉比的人 didn't seem like he'd become a rabbi.
摩西五经:犹太教圣经
但是我在摩西五经引领下找到了真谛 But I found real meaning in the Torah
我还娶了个犹太裔老婆 然后 and then I found a great Jewish woman and...
塔木德经:犹太人生活中除《希伯来圣经》以外最重要的典籍
让塔木德经精神指引我们的人生 let the spirit of the Talmud guide our lives.
拉倒吧你 死胖子 Okay, jut knock it off, fat-ass.
兄弟 Dude.
哇 凯尔 你心胸真是“宽大”啊 Wow, that's very big of you, Kyle.
还待在南方公园这里每天骂人死胖子 嗯 Still living in South Park and calling people fat-ass, huh?
等等 对不起 我失言了 Wait, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.
这他妈一点都不好笑 卡特曼 It's not fucking funny, Cartman!
别再装作过着犹太人的生活了 Stop pretending you have a happy Jewish life!
嘿 亲爱的 真对不起 Hey, shoogina! I'm sorry, I couldn't
我不能再待在车里了 我得见见你的朋友 wait in the car anymore; I had to meet your friends.
没关系 跟你们介绍一下 这我夫人 杨朵 Oh, that's okay. Guys, this is my wife, Yentl.
我听说过你们很多的故事 I've heard so many stories about you all.
在这美丽的大山里的童年 It must have been amazing to grow up
肯定很精彩 in these beautiful mountains!
杨朵:有同名芭芭拉·史翠珊主演电影
杨朵 你老婆他妈的叫杨朵 Yentl? Her name is Yentl?
我们能不能别再讨论这狗屁玩意儿 讲讲肯尼的事 拜托 Can we fucking stop this and talk about Kenny, please?!
- 喔 他就是 - 对 他就是 是凯尔 是的 - Oh, is that, uh...? - Yeah, that's-that's Kyle, yeah.
对不起 亲爱的 你等我一下好吗 I'm sorry, honey, can you just give me a couple minutes?
我跟他们再聊一会儿 I just need a few more seconds with them
就马上回车里 and I'll be right out to the car.
好的 我明白了 Oh, okay, I get it.
很高兴认识你们 Nice to meet you guys.
我想 我们会葬礼上再见面的 We'll see you at the funeral, I guess.
节哀顺变 And I'm very sorry for your loss.
再见 卡特曼太太 Bye, Mrs. Cartman.
你们俩听着 肯尼和我一直都是好兄弟 Okay, look, guys, Kenny and I were still really good friends.
他一直都有给我传邮件讲他的研究 He used to email me all the time about stuff he was doing.
我也是 Yeah, me, too!
那么 他可能也告诉过你 Well, so then maybe he also
他在试图找寻 told you that he was trying to find
新冠病毒的源头 the origin of the coronavirus.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
肯尼一直执着于研究新冠如何开始的 Kenny was obsessed with how corona first got started.
他肯定是有什么进展了 然后他就死了 He was clearly on to something, and then he died.
我很清楚 我们都想为他完成这件事 I know we all want to solve this for him.
你们知道吗 在摩西五经里 当亚伯拉罕 You know, in the Torah, when Abraham
第一次听到神这个词 first heard the word of God...
闭嘴吧你 你根本一点都不相信 Just knock it off! You don't believe
那玩意儿 你搞这么多东西 a word of that shit. You're just doing all this
只是为了戏弄我 to get a rise out of me.
凯尔 你真的认为 Kyle, you really think
我会浪费四十年的光阴 I would spend 40 years of my life
只是为了戏弄你吗 just to get a rise out of you?
- 是的 我坚信 - 你真是一点都没变啊 凯尔 - Yes, I do! - Same ol' Kyle.
我得走了 兄弟们 Well, I got to go, guys.
明天肯尼的葬礼上见 I'll see you at Kenny's funeral tomorrow.
也许他真的改变了 Maybe he's really changed.
并不 他就是在整我 No. He is fucking with me.
有时候我觉得 Sometimes I feel like
事情不应该是这样子的 things weren't supposed to be like this.
可能有人在控制事情 Like maybe there are others in control of the way
发展的走向 it all turned out.
你的意思是这样吗 麦科米克博士 Is that what you're saying, Dr. McCormick?
你是说有人要为此负责吗 Are you saying that there are other people responsible?
麦科米克博士 我想我要表达的是 I guess what I'm trying to say, Dr. McCormick, is...
你的理论似乎指向某些握有权力的人 your theories seem to point to some kind of people with power.
我换个说法好了 我们都看过了 Let me put it another way... we've all seen the pictures
你在埃及考察 在麻省理工讲课的照片 of you working in Egypt, lecturing at MIT.
而你总是回到了有个神秘组织 And you always seem to come back to this concept
是罪魁祸首的概念 of this mysterious organization who is to blame.
- 我再换个说法好了 麦科米克博士 - 等一下 - Let me put it yet another way, Dr. McCormick. - Hang on a second.
那是什么 Alexa 暂停 What was that? Alexa, freeze the video.
- 什么 - 暂停画面 - What? - Freeze video
并倒回去十秒 and reverse playback ten seconds.
停 Stop there.
放大画面20% Enhance image 20%.
额 随便你了 Ugh. Whatever.
右移十帧 Shift right ten frames.
增强画面 Enhance.
正直大麻 Tegridy Weed?
那不就是你老爸的大麻公司吗 Isn't that your dad's old marijuana company?
噢 见鬼了 Oh, shit.
嗨 欢迎 欢迎 我的朋友 Hi. Welcome. Welcome, my friends.
上帝保佑 你来了 So blessed to have you here.
你好 我的孩子 谢谢你来 Hello, my child, thank you for coming.
- 当然 - 等等 斯坦吗 - Yeah, sure. - Wait, Stan?
斯坦·马什 Stan Marsh?
神圣的主啊 我多久没见过你了 Praise be! I haven't seen you in ages!
对不起 我认识你吗 I'm sorry, do I know you?
当然 是我啊 Well, sure, it's me!
斯考特·麦金森 记得我吗 Scott Malkinson! Remember me?
- 不记得了 对不起 - 我们小时候 - Uh, no, sorry. - I hung out with you guys
常常玩在一块的啊 all the time when we were little.
我是那个说话口齿不清 I was the kid with the lisp.
- 有糖尿病的小孩 - 噢 对哦 是你啊 - Who had diabetes? - Oh, yeah, sure...
很高兴再见到你 Great to see you again.
你们好啊 很高兴在教堂见到你们 Hey, guys. Great to see you in church.
- 我是斯考特·麦金森 - 谁 - It's Scott Malkinson. - Who?
斯考特·麦金森 我是你们的同学啊 Scott Malkinson, I went to school with you guys?
噢 是哦 Oh, okay.
你好 欢迎 嘿 是我 斯考特·麦金森 Hello. Welcome. Hey! It's me! Scott Malkinson!
有糖尿病的 不记得吗 With the diabetes. No?
肯尼·麦科米克是一个令人怀念的孩子 睿智聪颖 Kenny McCormick was a cherished son, a wise man,
作为朋友更是无可挑剔 and a wonderful friend.
肯尼与在座各位的人生都有交集 Kenny touched all of our lives and made
让我们笑过 哭过 引领我们思考 each and every one of us laugh, cry and ponder.
而他的离世 And in his death,
让我们反顾自身 now we can reflect on our own lives.
我们快乐吗 Are we happy?
我们成为了自己想成为的人了吗 Are we the person we hoped to be?
我们有没有像肯尼一样 尽己所能 Have we, like Kenny, given all that we can
去原谅周遭的一切呢 to forgive those around us?
人生短暂 For life is short,
我们要珍惜家人跟朋友 and our family and friends must be cherished.
某种意义上 死就像是糖尿病 You know, in many ways, death is like diabetes.
你用尽一生想要战胜它 You spend your whole life trying to fight it off
但最后还是它赢了 but ultimately it just wins.
所以让我们珍惜这宝贵的光阴 去关心我们的朋友 And so let's take the time now to reach out to our friends.
关心我们的家人 To reach out to our family.
告诉我们的爸爸妈妈 我们 To tell our mothers and our fathers that we...
够了 够了 谁他妈让你上台的 All right! All right! Who the fuck put you up to this?
这娘炮演讲是你写的吗 凯尔 Did you write this goddamn speech, Kyle?
是你教他说这些屁话的吗 Did you tell him to say all this stuff?
你他妈在放什么屁啊 What the fuck are you talking about?
你知道我知道些肯尼的事 You know that I know something about Kenny
而我不会告诉你 因为这跟我老爸有关 that I'm not telling you because it involves my father,
那个我根本不想见面的老爸 who I don't want to face!
胡说八道 你不是那么浑球的话 That's crazy and you'd be able to face what happened
你早就能面对你家发生的悲剧 to your family if you weren't a fucking asshole!
大伙们 拜托 这可是神圣的教堂啊 Guys, please, this is a house of God.
你他妈给我闭嘴 You shut the fuck up!
你们批判我 你们都坐到这里来批判我 You judge me, you all sit here and judge me.
哼 去你们的 Well, fuck all of you!
这就是为什么我要离开这该死的小镇 This is exactly why I moved out of this hick-ass town!
我现在就要回我城里的家 And I am going back home to the city!
我的孩子 别这样 我们这是在基督（教堂里） My child, please, we are gathered in Christ...
我的孩子 别这样 我们这是在基督 My child, please, we are gathered in Christ.
我叫斯考特·麦金森 我有糖尿病 I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes.
他真的记得我 He does remember me!
Alexa 开车 Alexa, start the car!
开车 你要去哪 Start the car? Where are you going?
我先去趟商店然后回家 I need to stop at a store and then we're going home.
那你刚刚发现你老爸跟肯尼 What about the connection you just found
有关系的线索怎么办 between Kenny and your father?
Alexa 去最近的酒行 Alexa, find the nearest liquor store.
噢 你又要酗酒了 Oh, you wanna get drunk?
让我猜猜 有人说了些你不爱听的话 Let me guess... someone said something you didn't like
你就想啤酒兑红酒喝了 and it made you want to pound beer and wine?
可不是单纯的啤酒兑红酒 It's not "pounding beer and wine."
我可是往啤酒里一小杯一小杯地加红酒调出来的 I drop wine shots into the beer.
这叫舒莫加酒 可是有文化底蕴的 It's called a "smorgasvein" and it's very cultural!
smorgasvein：不含麸质的德国啤酒搭配法国红酒
别像个小孩一样了 斯坦 你要支持你离世的朋友 Stop acting like a child and support your dead friend, Stan!
- 你连一点 - Alexa 停 - You don't even have any... - Alexa, stop!
谢谢 谢谢你 神父 Thank you. Thank you, Father.
你们好 各位 我叫拉比·卡特曼 Hello, everyone. My name is Rabbi Cartman
我是肯尼·麦科米克最好最好的朋友 and I was Kenny McCormick's very, very best friend.
肯尼不是犹太人 但是他拥有 Kenny was not a Jew, but he had so many
很多犹太人的优良品质 amazing Jewish qualities.
在我心爱的妻子和孩子们那里 Qualities that I see in my loving wife
能看到的同样的品质 他们就坐在那 and my amazing kids, that are right over there.
就在凯尔那边 Over there by Kyle.
而当我们回到各自的家 And as we all return now to our homes
和生活中的时候 我觉得 就像亚伯拉罕说的 and our lives, I think that... a lot like Abraham...
- 让我们不要忘记 - 不好意思 大家注意 - let's not forget that... - Excuse me. Everyone?
听到吗 Hello?
各位 请各位看我这里 Everyone, can I have your attention, please?
麦科米克博士尸体的扫描结果出来了 We got results from the PNR scan of Dr. McCormick's remains
我们现在知道他的死因了 and we now know the cause of his death.
我们现在要保持镇静 Now we all need to stay calm.
不需要惊慌 但是 There is no reason to panic, but...
肯尼死于新冠 Kenny died of COVID.
是新变种 It's a new variant.
是德尔塔+奖励计划变种 The COVID Delta Plus Rewards Program variant.
各位 请冷静 Everyone, please!
我们不能惊慌 We cannot panic!
没有了 下巴尿布派完了 That's it! We're all out of chin diapers!
chin diapers：即口罩 讽刺不用正确的方法戴口罩
天啊 下巴尿布派光了 Oh, God, we're all out of chin diapers!
赶紧打开Zoom Zoom...
来 来 来 远程学习 Come on, come on, come on! Remote learning!
赶紧 赶紧 赶紧 Come on, come on, come on!
Alexa 怎么了 Alexa, what's going on?
前面好像封路了 There's some kind of road closure ahead.
设置好警戒线 我要全部出口都封锁起来 Set up a perimeter! I want all exit points sealed.
南方公园的居民们 People of South Park,
你们的社区爆发了新冠疫情 there is an outbreak of COVID in your community.
你们将要被隔离 You are being quarantined.
喂 大哥 我不住在这儿 我要回家啊 Hey, dude! I don't live here. I need to get home!
任何人都不能进出 Nobody is going in or out.
我们已经确认社区里有一个人 We have confirmation that one person in this community
从来没有打过新冠疫苗 has never been vaccinated against COVID,
所以我们必须把所有人隔离起来 so we must quarantine everyone.
一个人 到底是谁 One person?! Well, who is it?!
我们不能够透露 We are not allowed to say.
但是如果你们能告诉我们没打疫苗的人是谁 But if you tell us who the unvaccinated person is,
我们能让他们去打疫苗 封锁就可以结束了 we can have them vaccinated and then this will all be over!
我们不能告诉你们是谁 因为可能你忘了 We can't tell you who it is because, because in case you forgot,
现在可是未来 而我们是不能孤立和取笑 it's the future, and we don't single out or ridicule anyone
那些有个人信仰的人 for their personal beliefs.
救命 我讨厌未来 Gah! I hate the future!
什么意思 What does this mean?
对啊 这什么意思啊 爸爸 Yeah, what's it mean, Daddy?
我想这意味着 I think it means...
我们要困在南方公园了 we're all stuck in South Park.
好了 行了 Okay, there we go.
我们会尽快出结果 We'll get back with the results.
保持六尺社交距离 Maintain six feet social distance
待在家里不要外出 谢谢 and stay indoors. Thank you.
下一位 Next, please!
你听我说 我要离开这里 Yeah, listen, I have to get out of here.
废话 谁不想离开 Yes, don't we all.
不不不 我不属于这里 No, no, no, I don't belong here
我没有可以落脚的地儿 and I don't have anywhere to stay.
他们把汽车旅馆全关了 They've shut down all the motels.
你没有什么朋友或亲戚家可以借宿的吗 Do you have any friends or family that you can stay with?
没有 那些人可不是我的朋友 No, these people are not my friends
我也没有亲戚在这 and I have no family here.
- 好吧 - 没事 - Oka... - It's okay.
他们给所有外来人员 They've set up an emergency shelter
设置了一个应急避难所 for all the people who were here from out of town.
在哪 Where?
好了 各位 请听好 All right, everyone, listen up.
不会吧 No way.
欢迎来到南方公园小学 Welcome to South Park Elementary.
我们力求给大家提供一个舒适的环境 We want to help you all be as comfortable as possible.
所以每天晚上九点到早上六点 So we will have quiet time from 9:00 p.m.
都要给我安静 特么的别在这儿让我听到 to 6:00 a.m. every day. I don't want to hear
任何一字一句带有性别特点的语言 any fucking gender-specific language in here.
如果有人在这里和别人造谣中伤一本电影 And if anybody here casts a movie with someone
而不是只讨论关于电影本身的文化的话 other than the culture that movie is about,
你他妈的就给我滚出去 you are fucking out of here!
很好 谢谢 现在9:01了 熄灯 All right, thank you. It is now 9:01. Lights out.
我已经很久没有祈祷了 It's been a long time since I've prayed.
我不知道有没有人能听见我说话 I don't know if anyone can hear me...
但是现在我们非常需要得到援助 but we all really need help right now.
我心里深深明白 肯尼可不是 I know in my heart that Kenny didn't just die
因什么新冠变种而死 of some new COVID variant.
我知道背后一定有更大的阴谋 I know there's something way bigger going on.
但是所有事情似乎都太沉重了 But it all seems like so much to take on.
求求你了 如果有人可以给我 Please, if there's anyone who could
指点迷津 这将会是个奇迹 help see me through this, it would be a miracle.
♪ 有人在敲门 ♪ ♪ Someone's at the door ♪
♪ 门铃叮叮响 ♪ ♪ This is the doorbell ♪
♪ 显然在未来的日子里 ♪ ♪ Apparently in the future ♪
♪ 所有门铃都会把歌唱 ♪ ♪ All doorbells sing, sing, sing. ♪
行了 我他妈知道了 烦死了 Yeah, I fucking know, goddamn it!
嘿 凯尔 兄弟啊 太疯狂了 对吧 Hey, Kyle. Oh, man, this is crazy, huh?
学校都住满了人 汽车旅馆也全关了 The school is all filled up and the motels are shut down.
我想 我想说我们能不能在这里借宿几天啊 I was, I was just hoping maybe we could crash here.
我 额 我想不太可能 Look, I, uh, I don't think that's gonna work.
我看斯坦是不是也住在你这儿啊 I figured Stan is probably staying with you, too?
不 他没有 No. No, he's not.
噢 那太好了 那你有多的空房咯 Oh, great! Then you have some extra rooms.
- 我们会没事的 孩子们 - 耶 - We're gonna be okay, kids! - Yay!
不 不 卡特曼 我肯定你能 No, no, Cartman, I'm sure there are
找到别的地方留宿 some other places you can stay.
我的家人留宿在一个犹太人的家 My family would be really comfortable
一定会觉得很安心的 拜托 凯尔 看在我孩子的份上 in a nice Jewish home. Please, Kyle, for my kids.
我们保证会乖乖的 凯尔叔叔 We promise we'll be good, Uncle Kyle.
拜托了 凯尔叔叔 Please, Uncle Kyle?
拜托 凯尔叔叔 Please, Uncle Kyle?
难以置信 I can't believe this.
进来吧 孩子们 上帝保佑你 凯尔 Come on, kids! Oh, bless you, Kyle.
别担心 我会立马哄他们睡觉的 Don't worry, I'll put them right to bed.
你甚至不会感觉到我们的存在 You won't even know we're here.
Toda raba 凯尔叔叔 Toda raba, Uncle Kyle.
这是希伯来语的”谢谢你“ That's Hebrew for "thank you."
各位 这一切看起来也太巧合了不是吗 Guys, doesn't this all seem a little too convenient?
怎么说 What do you mean?
我是说肯尼的死很可疑 I mean that Kenny's death is suspicious,
他说有人要为疫情负责 然后 he talks about people to blame and then
他就突然死于什么新变种新冠病毒 he suddenly dies of some new COVID variant?
你认为这是障眼法吗 托肯 You think it's a cover, Token?
我觉得事情一定有疑点 I think it's definitely suspicious.
说到疑点 你们怎么看一个去医院堕胎 Speaking of suspicious, what do you call a trans woman
的跨性别女性 that walks into an abortion clinic?
她叫瑞贝卡 是一个了不起的人 Her name is Rebecca and she's a fantastic person.
这理由似乎很说得过去 不是吗 Just seems all nice and buttoned up, doesn't it?
新冠是完美的病因 而且任何想要 It's a perfect cause of death and anyone who's trying
找出真相的人都因为 to sort it out is quarantined
有一个人没有接种疫苗而被隔离 because one person isn't vaccinated?
说得没错 都这个时候了还有谁没打疫苗呢 It's true... who wouldn't be vaccinated by now?
我肯定是打了 I'm certainly vaccinated.
- 我也打了疫苗 - 我也是 - Yeah, I'm vaccinated. - Me, too.
我们都接种了疫苗 We're all vaccinated.
是啊 我说 我 我觉得这是一种个人的选择 Yeah, I mean, I-I think it's a personal choice.
你什么意思 你打疫苗了吗 克莱德 What does that mean? Are you vaccinated, Clyde?
我... 我免疫了 I'm... immunized.
这家伙他妈的没打疫苗 He's not fucking vaccinated!
他就是那个该死的人 He's the fucking one!
嘿 我只是 只是 Hey, I just, I just
想想先看看实验数据 你懂吗 need to see the research first, you know.
都过去40年了 克莱德 数据还不够多吗 It's been 40 years, Clyde. That's enough research!
Alexa 设置明早七点的闹钟 Alexa, set an alarm for 7:00 a.m.
你为何不去和你父亲谈谈 Why don't you go talk to your father?
我的老天啊 Goddamn it.
要是你父亲的农场 If there's some kind of connection
有什么联系并能帮助大家弄清楚 with your dad's farm that can help everyone figure out
事情是怎么回事的话 那你该去和他谈谈 what's going on, then you need to talk to him.
让我睡觉行吗 Can I just go to sleep, please?
可悲的你 可悲至极 Oh, poor you! Poor you!
别再装作受害者了 至少你可以出去 Stop being a fucking victim. At least you get to go out
为大伙做点什么 我又能做什么呢 and do stuff. What do I get to do?
- 好了好了 我很抱歉 - 噢 好的 很好 - Okay, okay, I'm sorry. - Oh, okay, great.
你抱歉了 又一次 You're sorry, again.
顺带提一句 我可以告诉你 By the way, I can tell you
一些关于百思买最近促销的耳机优惠 about some great deals on headphones at Best Buy.
你是否想要了解更多 Would you like to know more?
- 当然了 告诉我吧 - 好的 - Sure, yes, tell me more. - Okay.
Mark VII即将推出新款耳机 The Mark VII headphones have a new edition coming out.
是否需要将其加入你的购物清单 Should I add that to your shopping list?
是的 当然了 加入我的购物清单吧 Yes, sure, add them to my shopping list.
好的 我会将百思买的Mark VII耳机 Okay. I'll add Mark VII headphones
加入至你的购物清单 from Best Buy to your shopping list.
噢 耶 Oh, yeah.
喜欢这样吗 You like that?
你喜欢亚伯拉罕相信唯一真神那副样子吗 Yeah, you like how Abraham trusted in the one true God?!
真他妈的 Goddamn it!
等一下 亲爱的 Hang on, honey.
稍等 Hang on.
怎么了 老兄 What's up, buddy?
还怎么了 我真是受够了 What's up is that I am over this!
你在说什么 What are, what are you talking about?
你清楚我在说什么 You know what I'm talking about!
你知道我能透过墙听到你们 You know I can hear you through the walls!
天哪 我很抱歉 Okay, geez, I'm sorry.
很抱歉我在和我的妻子做爱 Sorry I was making love to my wife.
不会有犹太人连做爱的时候 No Jewish people have sex
都喊出对亚伯拉罕的敬爱 screaming about their love of Abraham!
你这天杀的骗子 You are a fucking fraud!
有什么事吗 Is everything all right?
你知道你丈夫曾偷偷潜入 Do you know that your husband once snuck
我的房间并害我染上艾滋吗 in my room and gave me fucking AIDS?!
- 你说什么 - 我的天啊 凯尔 - I'm sorry?! - Oh, my God, Kyle!
就算我们太吵了 你也没必要朝我妻子发火吧 If we are being too loud, please don't lash out at my wife!
我的天啊 我的天啊 我不知该说什么了 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I don't know what to say.
妈妈 爸爸 出什么事了吗 Mom, Dad, is everything okay?
没事的 孩子们 快回去睡吧 It's all right, kids. Go back to bed.
凯尔 很显然你对我们住这儿很不满意 Kyle, obviously you have a problem with us being here.
我答应你 I promise you that
明天一早我们就离开 we will be gone first thing in the morning.
那样再好不过了 That's probably best!
你喜欢亚伯拉罕如何 You like how Abraham
差点牺牲他的独子吗 almost sacrificed his only son?!
长官 长官 小镇里的人迫切想 Sir! Sir, the town‘s people are demanding
知道隔离什么时候才能结束 to know when the quarantine will end.
等我们接到通知一切都安全之时 It'll end when we get the order that
自然会结束 everything is safe.
但长官 里面的供给品快用完了 But, sir, the people inside are running out of supplies.
他们说根本没有足够的 They're saying they don't have nearly enough
下巴尿布了 人们已经开始斗殴了 chin diapers and people are starting to fight.
上面严格下令 I have strict orders
不许任何东西进出这座小镇 not to let anything in or out of this town.
他们只能尽可能地自求多福了 They'll just have to make do the best they can in there.
希望还能保留一些人性吧 Hopefully they can maintain some sense of humanity.
发现逃跑者 We got a runner!
又有一个人想要脱逃 Another one trying to get out!
求你了 Please!
我必须得去参加个体育比赛 I just need to go to a sporting event!
嘿 克莱德 克莱德我们能聊几句吗 Hey, Clyde. Clyde, can we talk to you for a second?
当然了 怎么了 Sure, what's up?
听着 克莱德 我们真的都尊重 Look, Clyde, we all really respect
你的个人喜 喜 喜好 your personal p-p-preferences.
但我们真的有事要回去做 But we have things we really need to get back to.
我们都有工作和事业 还有需要我们的人 We've got jobs a-and careers, people who need us.
但现在我们不得不得待在这儿 B-But we're being forced to stay here.
所以 能不能请你打个疫苗 很快就好了 So could you maybe just... just get vaccinated real quick?
不要 我不想 Nah. I don't wanna.
大伙们 我很抱歉 但这是出于健康原因 Look, I'm sorry, guys. It's for health reasons.
我不能打疫苗 因为我对贝壳类过敏 I can't get vaccinated 'cause I'm allergic to shellfish.
克莱德 新冠疫苗里没有贝类 Clyde, there's no shellfish in the COVID vaccine.
我知道 但我听说 I know, but I read that sometimes
在制作疫苗的实验室里 in the lab where the vaccine is made,
要是有人吃了贝壳类食物 if somebody ate shellfish,
就会交叉污染到疫苗 then it can get cross-contaminated
疫苗中就会残留贝类物质 and have leftover residual shellfish-ness.
所以你是说 你不想打新冠疫苗的原因 So you're saying you won't take the COVID vaccine
是因为贝类物质 out of shellfish-ness.
没错 你说得对 Yes, that is correct.
就是一般意义上的贝类 Just a general sense of shellfish-ness.
大伙们 你最好来看看这个 Everyone, you better come check this out.
看啊 Look at this.
麦科米克科学部 The McCormick Science Wing
南方公园小学分部 at South Park Elementary.
所以呢 我读到过这个 Yeah, so? I read about this.
肯尼捐了一大笔钱 Kenny donated tons of money
为学生建了科学中心 to build a science center for the students.
是啊 为了学生们 Yeah, for the students.
那为什么要锁起来呢 So why does it have a lock on it?
这里一定是肯尼做那些研究的地方 This must be where Kenny was doing all his research.
他不想被发现 所以用学校来做掩护 He didn't want to be found, so he used the school as cover.
大伙们 为什么这里到处是血 Uh, guys, why is there blood everywhere?
大家分头尽可能找些线索 Everybody see what you can find.
肯定有指向是谁杀死了肯尼的证据 There's got to be a clue here of who killed Kenny.
♪ 在未来 ♪ ♪ In the future ♪
♪ 我们生活在未来 ♪ ♪ We are living in the future ♪
♪ 这就是未来 ♪ ♪ It's the future. ♪
我们是帕克县增长速度最快的 And we are the fastest growing retirement home
养老院 我们最新的塔楼 in Park County. With our newest tower,
可以为六十万老年人提供住宅 we can now house over 600,000 old people.
因为在未来 你会老好久好久 'Cause in the future you're old for a long, long time.
有什么能帮您的 Can I help you?
我叫斯坦·马什 我是来... My name is Stan Marsh. I came to...
看望我父亲的 visit my dad.
马什先生 马什先生 你猜怎么着 Mr. Marsh. Mr. Marsh, guess what.
你的儿子来了 Your son is here.
我没有儿子 I don't have a son.
噢 别这样马什先生 别做个怪脾气老头 Oh, come on, Mr. Marsh, don't be a grumpy pants.
你可以告诉那个混球 要是他想 You tell that piece of shit that if he wants to
和我讲话 可以给我发邮件 talk to me, he can write an email.
告诉那个小怂包 如果我抱上孙子孙女的话 Tell that little pussy if I had any grandkids,
也许就不会因为有这样一个 maybe I wouldn't be so bitter
小婊儿子而如此痛苦！ at having such a little bitch for a son!
- 嗨 爸爸 - 噢 嗨 斯坦 - Hi, Dad. - Oh, hey, Stan.
我就不打扰你俩了 I'll leave you two alone.
看来丹佛野马队还是很烂啊 So, looks like the Broncos still suck.
美式橄榄球联盟队伍
是啊 Yup.
好了 见到你很高兴 Well, it was nice seeing ya.
谢谢你来拜访我 Thanks for coming to visit.
我不是来拜访的 I didn't come to visit.
相信我 我才不想来这儿 Trust me, I don't want to be here.
是啊 就像你不想杀你的姐姐一样 Right, like you didn't want to murder your sister.
发生在雪莉身上的事是你的错 不是我 What happened to Shelley was your fault, not mine!
是啊 好像你妈开枪自杀也是我的错一样 Yeah, like it was my fault your mom shot herself!
是啊 这当然是你的错 Yes, it actually was!
你妈是在她女儿被烧死那天自杀的 Your mom died the day her daughter burned to death!
我来这儿只是因为肯尼 I'm just here because of Kenny.
为什么他的等式里写了正直大麻 Why would he have Tegridy Weed in his equations?
麦科米克博士提到了正直 Dr. McCormick mentioned Tegridy?
它似乎在某种程度上符合其宏大理论 It seemed to somehow fit into some grand theory he had.
他知道了 他知道这是挽救一切的方法 He knew. He knew it was the way to fix it all.
他知道... 疫情特别款的事 He knew... about the Pandemic Special.
但妈妈 为什么我们要离开 But, Mom, why do we have to leave?
外面不安全啊 It's not safe outside!
我们在这不受欢迎 孩子们 We aren't welcome here, children.
我们得找其他地方住了 We have to find another place to stay.
噢不 这就像我们的人 Oh, no, this is just like when our people were
犹太人被赶出耶路撒冷
被逐出圣地那样 exiled from the Holy Lands.
卡特曼女士 我能和你谈谈吗 Mrs. Cartman, can I talk to you, please?
- 凯尔叔叔 - 凯尔叔叔 - Uncle Kyle! - Uncle Kyle,
为什么你要让我们离开 为什么 why are you making us go? Why?
因为我们是犹太人吗 Is it 'cause we're Jews?
卡特曼女士 昨晚的事我很抱歉 Mrs. Cartman, I'm sorry for last night.
我只是... 昨晚太累了 是我失态了 I was just... tired and it was extremely inappropriate of me.
爸爸 Dad!
我想凯尔叔叔准备 I think Uncle Kyle
让我们留下来了 爸比 is gonna let us stay, Papa!
哦 不 孩子们 很抱歉 Uh, no, kids, I'm sorry,
我们不能和凯尔叔叔一起住了 but we can't stay here with Uncle Kyle.
请留下来吧 我恳求你们留下 Please stay. I am asking you to stay.
可以吗 爸爸 我们保证会乖乖的 Can we, Dad? We'll be good, we promise!
你们几个小家伙一直都很乖 You little ones are always good.
♪ 美味的 美味的克洛伊斯卡小布丁 ♪ ♪ Mik-helm, Mik-helm, mit cloiska pudding ♪
♪ 我也会跟着笑起来 ♪ ♪ Vil plotz vit laughter, too ♪
停下 Stop it!
♪ 有人在门口 ♪ ♪ Someone is at the door! ♪
♪ 没错 我是门铃 ♪ ♪ Yeah! This is the doorbell! ♪
♪ 这就是未来 ♪ ♪ It is the future! ♪
他们杀了肯尼... They killed Kenny...
因为他想阻止这一切 because he was trying to stop it.
阻止什么 Stop what?
我们找到了肯尼的实验室 We found Kenny's lab.
里面有他所有机密档案 和疯狂的实验 All of his confidential work and his wild experiments.
肯尼并不是想查明冠状病毒的起源 Kenny wasn't just trying to find the source of the coronavirus.
他是想穿越回过去 He was trying to go back in time,
从头阻止疫情的发生 and stop the pandemic from ever happening.
好了 老人们 Okay, old people.
下午四点了 你们知道这意味着什么 It's 4:00. You know what that means.
是分享时间 It's share time!
谁有想分享的事情呢 Who has something that they want to share?
加里森先生 Mr. Garrison?
我想往你嘴里分享下我的大屌 I'd like to share my dick in your mouth.
好咩 M'kay.
好了大伙们 安静下来 Okay, guys, let's settle down.
我知道在如今疫情下 Look, I know sharing feelings is hard
开口分享心事挺困难的 during this time of crisis.
有人对新爆发的新冠疫情感到恐慌吗 Is anyone feeling nervous about the new COVID outbreak?
你们大可不必担心 因为 We don't want you to worry, because, you know,
现在是未来 我们会竭尽所能 it's the future... we all do everything we can
保证老年人绝不会死去 to make sure old people don't die.
好了 要是没有人想先说 Okay, if nobody else wants to go first,
兰迪·马什今天迎来了一位来访者 Randy Marsh had a little visitor today
他想将此经历与你们一起分享 and he'd like to share that with all of you.
嘿 大家好 我今天有一位特别来访者 Uh, hey, everyone. I had a special visitor today.
我的 "儿子" My "son."
一个过去20年都未曾来看过我的人 Who hasn't come to see me in over 20 years.
有些事我需要告诉他 And I have some things I need to tell him
但实在难以开口... but it's hard because...
因为他杀死了他的妈妈和姐姐 he killed his mom and his sister.
好了听着 这才是事情的原委 Okay, okay, here's what happened.
又来了 又来了 Oh, here we go, here we go.
疫情之后 我妈妈想要离婚 After the pandemic, my mom wanted a divorce
而她享有一半的农场 and she owned half of the farm.
她才没想要农场 她一直讨厌大麻 She didn't own half, she always hated weed,
何况她从未为农场出过力 and she didn't do shit for the farm.
他不愿将农场分给她一半 而我受够 He wouldn't give her half the farm, so I got sick
他们整日争吵 于是将农场 of their fighting and decided to burn
一把火烧为平地 the whole stupid farm to the ground.
他的姐姐当时在谷仓 活活被烧死 And his sister was in the barn and she burned to death.
那是因为你把她锁在谷仓 因为她不愿意 Because you locked her in the barn 'cause she wouldn't
为你收割大麻 因为她也恨透了大麻 do her weed chores 'cause she hated weed, too!
是的 她确实有毒品困扰 Yes, she had a marijuana problem.
他母亲无法承受失去雪莉之痛 And so his mother couldn't take the loss
所以开枪自行了断 of Shelley and so she killed herself!
这也是你的错 Which is your fault.
是你把整个家族产业 You were the one who
一把火烧成灰烬的 burned the family business to the ground.
大家伙都听到了是吧 You guys are hearing this, right?
所以 肯尼花了大把时间研究时间旅行 So, Kenny spends years researching time travel,
突然之间 肯尼死了 then suddenly Kenny dies,
所有他团队里的科学家都失踪了 and all his fellow scientists go missing.
只留下几行不明血迹 Just leaving behind a trail of blood.
似乎所有的科学家都被谋杀了 Seems like all of the scientists were murdered
这样就没人能完成肯尼的研究了 so that nobody could complete Kenny's work.
所有科学家 除了一位 All of them except one.
几乎在所有研究中 In almost all this research,
有个名字反复出现：维克多·乔斯 one name keeps popping up: Victor Chouce.
似乎乔斯先生是肯尼的得力助手 It appears that Chouce was Kenny's right-hand man.
但他疯了 But he was insane.
他已被在一家精神卫生中心关上了数年 He's been locked up for years inside a mental institution.
噢得了吧 难道现在我们要同一位 Oh, come on. Now we're gonna start talking
确定是疯子的人谈话吗 to certifiably crazy people?
不论疯与否 我们得去找维克多·乔斯 Crazy or not, we find this Victor Chouce
然后要找到肯尼把信息藏哪儿了 and we find where Kenny hid the information.
是的 Yes.
是的 没错 Yes, that is correct.
维克多·乔斯是我们这的一位病人 Victor Chouce is one of our patients here.
你们来访的目的是什么 What is the nature of your inquiry?
我们有理由相信维克多·乔斯 We have reason to believe that Victor Chouce
可以解答我们朋友死去的谜团 can answer questions regarding our friend's death.
你能让他来接电话吗 Could you put him on the line please?
我恐怕这不行 I'm afraid that's impossible.
维克多的精神太不稳定无法接电话 电话使他迷茫 Victor is too unstable for phone calls. They confuse him.
那我们可以当面去和他谈谈吗 Well, can we come talk to him in person then?
可以 我相信这是可以安排的 Yes, I believe that could be arranged.
只要符合适当的会面准则 As long as the proper protocols are met.
你们所有人都接种疫苗了吗 Is everyone in your party vaccinated?
没有 No.
好吧 那恐怕我无法让你们进入 Well, then I'm afraid we can't allow you
我们这儿 into our facility.
但我们一定要同他谈话 这很紧急 But-but we have to talk to him! It's urgent!
他们说什么 What'd they say?
他们不让我们见他 They're not gonna let us see him!
一定是某种该死的阴谋 It's some kind of goddamn conspiracy!
听我说 其实很简单 Listen to me, it's very simple.
我只是想把我爸带离这里 I need to take my dad out of here.
他必须跟我走 He has to come with me.
我恐怕这办不到 I'm afraid that's impossible.
老年人之所以在这 是为了保护他们的安全 Senior citizens are in here to keep them safe.
你懂的 这是未来... 我们不能让老人死去 You know, it's the future... we can't let old people die.
- 告诉过你的 傻蛋 - 闭嘴 老爹 - I told you, stupid. - Shut up, Dad.
听着 我们有机会帮助对抗新的病毒变种 Look, there's a chance we can help fight this new variant.
我只需要带他离开几个小时 I just need him out for a couple hours
这样我们就能拿到关键之物 so we can get something important.
那你为什么不直接去拿 Well, why don't you just go get it?
因为这老东西不肯告诉我 Because he won't tell me where it is because
- 因为他不相信我 - 因为他杀死了他妈 - he doesn't trust me. - Because he killed his mom.
听着 我很抱歉 但这是未来 Look, I'm sorry, but this is the future.
没有什么比保证老人活着更重要的事了 Nothing is more important than keeping old people alive.
要是你把他带出去 老天宽恕我 What if you took him out there and, God forbid,
他拉在裤子上了呢 he crapped his pants?
然后一脚踩在老人的稀便上滑跤 And then slipped on the old people diarrhea
撞到了自己的头 and hit his head?
我们不得不闭国谢罪 We'd have to shut down the entire country,
真是老天保佑 for Christ's sake.
好吧 看来只能如此了 Well, I guess that's it.
只有一条路能出去了 Only one way out now.
踢他的蛋蛋 斯坦 Kick him in the balls, Stan!
- 什么 - 朝他蛋蛋踢 - What?! - Kick him in the balls!
- 来啊搞快点 - 你放开我 - Come on, hurry! - Get your hands off of me!
- 爸 - 我真服了你了斯坦 - Dad! - Goddamn it, Stan,
快他妈的踢他蛋啊 这样我们就能走了 kick his fucking balls so we can go!
我日 Fuck!
好了拿他的钥匙 拿他钥匙啊 你这傻蛋 Okay, grab his keys! Grab his keys, you stupid ass!
警告 警告 老人出逃 Warning. Warning. Old person has escaped.
老人出逃 警告 Old person has escaped. Warning.
所有这些我们在肯尼的实验室里找到的文档 All of these documents we found in Kenny's lab
都提到了冠状病毒可能的起源 referred to possibl e origins of the coronavirus.
他想回到过去并阻止它 He wanted to go back and stop it.
但是要阻止它 他必须搞清楚如何扭曲时间 But to stop it, he had to figure out how to bend time.
没错 这些笔记 都是肯尼编写的 Exactly. There's notes... years and years of research
关于时间旅行可能性的 that Kenny compiled...
积年累月的研究 all on the possibilities of time travel.
你个淘气鬼 You silly girl.
你 是的 谁是小宝贝 是的 You, yes. Who's a little mister, yes.
谁是小赫兹帕 Who's a little hetzpah?
谁是我的小疯子 Who's my little meshugana?
不好意思 Excuse me!
上帝 对不起 凯尔 Geez, sorry, Kyle.
肯尼之前正在研究时空的本质 Kenny was researching the nature of space-time
来探索扭曲时间的可能性 to see if some kind of bending was possible.
但之后突然 所有的研究都中断了 But then suddenly, all the research just gets cut off.
因为那个使疫情发生的人 Because whoever made the pandemic happen
在肯尼能够回到过去并阻止一切之前杀了他 killed Kenny before he could go back and stop it.
淘气鬼 是的 Silly girl. Yes.
请你们走开点好吗 Will you please knock it off?!
有什么问题吗 凯尔 What's the problem, Kyle?
你知道你在做什么 死胖子 You know what you're doing, fat-ass!
该死的 你为什么要打搅我该死的爸爸 凯尔叔叔 Goddamn it, why don't you lay off my fuckin' dad, Uncle Kyle!
莫伊沙 他从来没那样说过话 Moisha! He's never talked like that before.
对不起 妈妈 就是 I'm sorry, Mom. It's just...
凯尔叔叔 他把我逼疯了 Uncle Kyle, he makes me so crazy!
那可不行哦 莫伊沙 That is not okay, Moisha.
但这是真的 爸爸 凯尔叔叔也把我逼疯了 But it's true, Dad. Uncle Kyle makes me crazy, too!
- 梅诺拉 - 草泥马 凯尔 - Menorah! - Fuck you, Kyle.
哈克姆 Hackelm!
大伙儿 听着 在肯尼的工作中 You guys, listen. In Kenny's work
当他谈到他会把重要的信息藏在哪里的时候 he talks about where he would hide important information.
他说如果他的朋友们能再次像小孩子一样思考的话 He says his friends will always know where to look
他们就能知道去哪里找了 if they just think like kids again.
再次像小孩子一样思考 Think like kids again...
我知道肯尼把我们要找的东西藏在哪儿了 I know where Kenny hid what we're looking for.
就在他的屁眼儿里 It's up his ass.
那个女人是谁 Who's the broad?
她只是我的Alexa That's just my Alexa.
这就是你能找到最好的了 嗯 That's the best you could do, huh?
她不是二手的吧 Is it even the new one?
- 不好意思 - 别理他 - Excuse me? - Just ignore him.
好吧 没事 你的亚马逊金牌会员 Okay, fine, there's a new upgrade available
有新的更新可用 for your Amazon Prime membership.
你想了解更多吗 Would you like to know more?
现在不想 拜托 Not now, please.
好吧 所以就想嫖我还不给钱 是吧 Okay, so I guess just fuck me, then?
嗯哼 Uh-huh.
这儿曾经是个多么神奇的地方 This was once such a magical place.
我们能别这样儿了吗 Can we just get this over with?
我不想待在这儿 I don't want to be here.
你以为我想待在这儿 You think I want to be here?
这是我失去所有我在乎的一切的地方 This is where I lost everything that I cared about!
另外还有你的妈妈和你的姐姐 And your mom and your sister!
老爸 这儿什么也没有 Dad, there's nothing here.
老爸 Dad?
我想我现在能相信你了 斯坦 I think I can trust you now, Stan.
是时候让你知道你的朋友肯尼在研究什么 It's time for you to learn what your friend Kenny was after.
当疫情发生的时候 你还只是一个孩子 When the pandemic started, you were only a kid.
你不记得我们共同经历的痛苦 You don't remember the pain we all went through.
不 我记得 Yeah, I do.
我们作为美国人经历了那么多 We as Americans went through so much.
首先是那个无能的傻逼当上了总统 First, that incompetent jack-hole was elected president.
然后是疫情来了 然后是种族战争 Then the pandemic came, and then the race wars.
再然后当一切看起来似乎有转机的时候 And then just when it seemed like we'd turned a corner,
空中大灌篮2上映了 于是我们想躺平了 Space Jam 2 came out, and we all just kind of gave up.
Space Jam 2：由勒布朗·詹姆斯出演 烂得译者都没看完
我们失去的 斯坦 是正直农场 What we lost, Stan, was our Tegridy.
但这一切都是设计好的 But it was all by design.
他们想要我们失去它 They needed us to lose it.
是谁 Who did?
谁会想让我们失去我们的乐观主义 Who would want us to lose our optimism
并开始自相残杀的 and start fighting with each other?
某国 XXX.
- 某国 - 某国 - XXX? - XXX.
他们现在无比强大 They're the superpower now.
未来都是他们的而我们是这一切的始作俑者 The future is totally theirs and we let it happen.
一个在某国的男人和一只穿山甲发生了性关系 A man in XXX had sex with a pangolin
并导致了新冠的发生 那个男人就是我 and that started COVID. That man was me.
所以我知道如何在一切开始前 So I knew how to go back
回到过去并阻止他们 and stop them from taking over...
等等 哇 哇 等等 等等 等等 Wait, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.
是你引发了新冠 You started COVID?
是的 但那不是重点 Yes, but that's besides the point.
某国利用了我就像利用我们所有人 XXX used me like they used us all.
所以我提出了一种新的方法来帮助人们进行反击 So I came up with a way to help everyone fight back.
一种特别版正直农场大麻 A special Tegridy weed.
你在某国和一只穿山甲发生了性关系 You had sex with a pangolin
并导致了整个新冠疫情 in XXX and started the whole pandemic?!
你能不能好好听我说 Will you listen to what I'm saying?!
天 我致力于创造更多的正直大麻 Gal! I worked to create more Tegridy,
但某国却对我百般阻挠 but XXX did everything they could to stop me.
他们甚至利用了我的儿子 They even got to my son.
他把整个正直农场付之一炬 Who burned all of Tegridy Farms to the ground.
但甚至连你都不知道的是 But what you didn't even know
我秘密地培育了一株新的大麻 was that I had secretly created a new strain of weed.
这种大麻是如此的强劲 我甚至都不能称它为特别版 A weed so powerful, I couldn't even call it a special.
它更像是一个大事件 It was more like an event.
这些年我一直把它藏好了 I hid it away all these years.
而现在它 就是拯救我们所有人的稻草 And now it... is the key to saving us all.
- 它他妈的去哪了 - 什么 - Where the fuck is it? - What?
正直农场的特别大事件版大麻 它他妈的去哪了 The Tegridy Weed Special Event! Where the fuck is it?!
我不知道 爸爸 I don't know, Dad!
他们得到了 他们拿走了 They got it. They took it!
地上甚至还有新鲜的脚印 There's even fresh footprints on the ground!
哦 上帝 Oh, Jesus!
所以或许这不是某国人干的 So maybe it wasn't the XXX.
是啊 不 绝对是某国人 哦 天啊 Yeah, no, it was definitely the XXX. Oh, God.
只有它了 那是正直农场最后仅剩的希望了 That was it! That was the very last bit of Tegridy!
还有一件事我把一些种子藏在了我的屁眼儿里 The only other thing I had were some seeds that I hid
但在养老院的时候被他们拿走了 up my ass, but they took them from me at the old folks home!
等等 你刚才说什么 Wait a minute. What did you say?
我说在养老院的时候他们把它们拿走了 I said they took them from me at the old folks home.
不 前一句 No, before that.
哦 我说我把它们藏在了我的屁眼儿里 Oh. I said I hid 'em up my ass.
上帝 那么简单 为什么我们没能明白 Jesus. It's so simple. How did we not get it?
Alexa 启动车子 Alexa, start the car!
现在没希望了 儿子 There's no point now, son!
全完了 It's all gone.
没救了 没救了 It's all lost. All lost.
兰迪 Randy.
啊 Ah...?
ICU 请蓝队前往ICU ICU, please. Blue Team, ICU.
“凯尔叔 叔” "Un-cle Kyle."
“凯尔叔叔” 说 哈克姆 "Uncle Kyle." Say it, Hackelm.
-“凯尔叔叔” - 草泥马 凯尔 - "Uncle Kyle." - Fuck you, Kyle.
不是 不是 不是 “凯尔叔叔” No, no, no. "Uncle Kyle."
草泥马 凯尔 Fuck you, Kyle.
哦 我的上帝 Oh, my gosh, no.
我们对此很抱歉 We're so sorry about this.
哈克姆 说“叔叔” Hackelm, say "Uncle."
“叔叔 凯尔叔叔” "Uncle. Uncle Kyle."
草泥马 凯尔叔叔 Fuck you, Uncle Kyle!
嘿 那好多了 Hey, that was better.
这不管用 医院说 It isn't gonna work. The hospital says
我们没有权限去看肯尼的尸体 we don't have authorization to see Kenny's remains.
什么 What?!
听起来有人不想让我们看到 Sounds like someone doesn't want us
肯尼的尸体 因为我们或许会找到真相 to see Kenny's remains. 'Cause we might find the truth.
我们得找到进去的办法 There has to be a way for us to get in there.
- 哈 哈 草泥马 凯尔叔叔 - 哈克姆 - Ha ha. Fuck you, Uncle Kyle! - Hackelm.
你们来这儿干嘛 What the hell are you guys doing here?
- 斯坦 - 你来这儿干嘛 - Stan? - What are you doing here?
我正试图找到杀害肯尼的凶手 I've been trying to find out who killed Kenny.
我想我知道他把信息保存在哪儿了 I think I know where he stored the information.
在他的屁眼儿里 It's in his asshole.
- 是的 - 嗯 这没关系 - Yes. - Well, it doesn't matter.
他们不让我们进停尸房 They won't let us into the morgue.
是啊 那是因为你们不动脑子 Yeah, that's because you guys don't think.
不好意思 我们现在要检查 Excuse me? We need to examine
麦科米克博士的尸体 the remains of Dr. McCormick right away.
就像我跟别人说的 Like I told the others,
只有持证的医务人员才可以检查尸体 only certified medical personnel are allowed to examine cadavers.
斯坦·马什 Stan Marsh, consultant
我是后现代饮料娱乐在线服务顾问 for Post-Modem Beveragetainment Online Services.
等一下 医生 One moment, Doctor.
这太不正常了 This is highly unorthodox.
我们通常不让外来人员进入停尸房的 We don't normally allow outsiders into the morgue.
我很理解 医生 但幸运的是我是正统的犹太教 That's understandable, Doctor, but luckily I am orthodox.
orthodox：规范的；正统犹太教（双关）
我想这里儿童不宜 I don't think this is suitable for children.
你们去吧 你们是他最亲密的人 You guys go. You were the closest to him.
我们待在外面看着孩子们 We'll stay back and watch the kids.
对不起我们不能提供下巴尿布 I'm sorry we can't supply any chin diapers.
保持社交距离就好 Just maintain social distance.
中间柜 倒数第二个 Middle cabinet, second from the bottom.
你好 老朋友 Hello, old friend.
啊 滚开 Ah, come on!
好了 让我们把他 Well, let's get him...
翻过来 turned over.
得有人来看一下 Somebody's got to look.
我才不要碰肯尼的屁股 I'm not reaching up Kenny's ass.
啊 总要有人来做 Well, somebody has to.
- 卡特曼 你来 - 不 我做不到 - Cartman, go ahead. - No, I can't do it.
如果非得有人去翻肯尼的屁股 If anyone should reach up Kenny's ass,
那应该是你 凯尔 it should be you, Kyle.
我觉得你是他他妈的“最好的朋友” I thought you were his fucking "best friend."
我是他最好的朋友 但我也结婚了 I was his best friend, but I am also married,
所以我不能把手指伸进别人的屁眼儿里 so I can't be fingering people's buttholes.
上帝 你们真他妈的墨迹 我来吧 God, you guys fucking suck. I'll just do it.
就像我总是要修复他妈的所有别的东西一样 Just like I always had to fix fucking everything else!
你才没有“他妈的修复所有东西” You did not "fucking fix everything,"
你只是表现得好像别人都是傻子一样 you just started acting like everyone else was stupid.
哦 是吗 因为他们只是在装傻吗 Oh, really? Because they were acting stupid?
是啊 因为你对什么事情都很自以为是 Yeah, because you got all self-righteous about everything.
- 我自以为是 - 是啊 你自以为是 - I got self-righteous? - Yeah, you got self-righteous.
你知道什么是他妈的道貌岸然吗 Do you know what fucking sanctimonious means?
不知道 凯尔 你他妈的何不告诉我 No, Kyle, why don't you fucking tell me
什么是他妈的道貌岸然 what fucking sanctimonious means.
瞧 你就是这样子 See, this is exactly how you acted when
- 当疫情开始 - 等等 - the pandemic started to... - Wait!
等一下 Hold on.
我们拿到了 We've got it.
- 哦 我的天 - 什么 - Oh, my God. - What?
这儿上面还有屎 还是死人的屎 It's got shit on it. That's dead people shit.
你在研究什么 克莱德 What are you working on, Clyde?
我正再过一遍肯尼的日志 I'm going through Kenny's journals again
试着寻找些答案 to try to find some answers.
好像我们一直在走死胡同 知道吗 Seems like we just keep hitting dead ends, you know?
我累了想回家 I'm just tired and I want to go home.
我知道 我也累了 I know. I'm exhausted, too.
或许你想来嗑点药不 You want to maybe do a little bump?
啊 Huh?
我只是 I was just...
我带了些可卡因并且我想我们可以 I've got some coke and I thought we could...
我不知道 你想来吸个爽吗 I don't know, do you want a party?
他妈的当然 我想吸个爽 Fuck yes, I want a party.
- 真的吗 - 他妈的当然 - Really? - Fuck yes.
哦 我很高兴你也正累 Oh, I'm so glad you're down.
别人甚至对我的请求很慌张 Nobody else is even cool enough for me to ask.
这货也非常的棒 It's pretty good shit, too.
哦 天 感谢上帝 Oh, man. Thank God.
感谢上帝我带了这个 给你 Thank God I brought this. Here ya go.
他妈的当然 让咱们吸个爽 Fuck yes. Let's fucking party.
等一下 Wait a minute.
- 这到底是什么 - 你什么意思 - What is this really? - What do you mean?
这不是可卡因 这是新冠疫苗 是不是 This isn't cocaine, it's the COVID vaccine, isn't it?!
我才不会把那垃圾弄我身体里去 I'm not putting that shit in my body!
算了 大伙儿 这不管用 Forget it, guys, it didn't work.
你们这些人想骗我打疫苗 You guys were gonna trick me into taking the vaccine?!
该死的 克莱德 我们想从这儿出去 Goddamn it, Clyde, we want to get out of here!
我的身体是神圣不可侵犯的我才不打那坨屎 My body is a temple and I'm not taking that shit!
让我们面对现实吧 大伙儿 一切都完了 Let's just face it, guys, it's over.
我们永远不会找出肯尼寻找的东西了 We're never going to find what Kenny was after.
无论是谁控制着世界并杀了我们的朋友 Whoever controls the world and killed our friend
都会被他逍遥法外了 is just gonna get away with it.
别着急下结论 Not so fast!
我们做到了 我们找到肯尼的隐藏信息了 We did it! We found Kenny's hidden information!
- 你们做到了 - 现在我们终于能 - You did? - And now we can finally
了解到真相了 learn the truth!
无论肯尼在寻找谁 Whoever Kenny was after,
我们都要打败那些该死的混蛋 we are gonna take those fuckers down!
现在是11月3日下午2:07 The date is November 3rd. It is 2:07 p.m.
肯尼·麦科米克博士将要 Dr. Kenneth McCormick will now be
尝试穿越时间回到过去 attempting to travel back in time.
以从源头阻止新冠疫情 In order to stop the COVID pandemic from ever happening.
他做到了吗 He did it?
麦科米克博士相信 Dr. McCormick believes
回到过去 that going back
是阻止那些毁了未来的人们 is the only way
的唯一办法 to stop the people who have ruined the future.
如果麦科米克博士死了 In the event of Dr. McCormick's death,
他想要所有人知道 he wants everyone to know the group
要对现状负责的团体 that is responsible for the way things are.
是 “我的三个白痴朋友 It is, "My three dickhead friends,
斯坦 凯尔和卡特曼” Stan, Kyle and Cartman."
什么 What?!
麦科米克博士说 Dr. McCormick says
这三个人在他们让新冠破坏了他们之间的友谊的时候 that these three completely ruined everything
就彻彻底底地毁了一切 when they let COVID break up their friendship
并且变成了爱争论 好斗 悲观的混蛋 and became argumentative, combative, pessimistic assholes.
他说他希望你们这些人正看着这个 He says he hopes you guys are watching this.
他花了他的毕生精力来修复你们的兄弟情 He spent his whole life trying to fix your broship
后来意识到这是唯一的办法 and then realized this was the only way,
因为你们这些人太操蛋了 'cause you guys suck.
程序已经启动 The sequence is active!
见证历史的时刻 The historic moment is here!
祝你好运 麦科米克博士 Godspeed, Dr. McCormick!
等等 麦科米克博士 你忘了你的下巴尿布 Wait! Dr. McCormick, you forgot your chin diaper!
出问题了 Something's wrong!
一直以来 我们在寻找的 All this time, the bad guys we were after,
肯尼口中毁灭未来的混蛋 就是你们几个 who Kenny said ruined the future, was you guys?
温蒂 我一直试着闭嘴但是 Wendy, I've been trying not to say anything but...
你的朋友们真是混蛋 your friends are all kind of douchebags.
肯尼说得对 Kenny was right.
一直以来 我们都在试图搞清楚 All this time, we've been trying to figure out
这一切都是谁的错 whose fault this all was.
是我们的错 It was our fault.
我记得当我们还是小孩的时候 I remember when we were kids.
我们是如此的乐观 We were so optimistic.
我们没了乐观 没了我们快乐的感觉 We lost that. We lost our sense of fun.
我们的幽默感 Our sense of humor.
或许疫情就是一场大考 Maybe the pandemic was a big test.
并且我们都失败了 And we all failed.
让我们面对现实吧 大伙儿 Let's face it, guys.
是我们杀了肯尼 We killed Kenny.
是啊 肯尼说得对 Yeah. Kenny was right.
要是回到过去 我们不会就这样放弃 Back in the old days, we wouldn't give up like this.
我们本该去救我们的好朋友 We would have just set out to save our friend,
无论事情看起来多么不可能 no matter how impossible it seemed.
我们本会做的 What we would have done...
我们本该做的 and what we should have done then...
是把我们的尊严 was double down on our respect
和对彼此的爱做赌注并战胜它 and our love for one another and fight through it
而不是互相吵架 instead of fighting with each other.
我们可以挽救肯尼 We can save Kenny.
只要我们完成他的工作 We just have to finish his work.
怎么做 我们对量子物理和时间旅行 How? We don't know anything about quantum physics
一窍不通 and time travel.
我不知道怎么做 但我们会以信任为开端 I don't know how. But we start by believing.
对彼此的信任和对还未到来之事的信任 In each other and in what is yet to come.
我们必须回到我们曾经还是孩子的时候 We have to go back to being those kids we once were.
即使这意味着要叫来耶稣或撒旦来 Even if it means calling Jesus or Santa.
来吧 大伙儿们 我们有事情做了 Come on, guys, we've got work to do!
听起来很不错 我马上回来 Sounds good. I'll be right back.
莫伊沙 哈克姆 孩子们 拿上我们的东西 Moisha, Hackelm, kids, get your things.
我们现在就得走 We need to go now.
怎么了 爸爸 What's going on, Dad?
你们的凯尔叔叔妄想回到过去改变事情 Your Uncle Kyle wants to go back and change things.
他要试图改变过去 He's going to try and change the past.
但我喜欢他们现在的样子 But I like things the way they are.
我也是 爸爸 你认为他能成功吗 Me too, Dad. Do you think he'll be able to do it?
不能 孩子们 No, kids.
艹他妈的凯尔叔叔 Fuck Uncle Kyle.
耶 Yay!
- 耶 爸爸 - 艹他妈的凯尔叔叔 - Yay, Daddy! - Fuck Uncle Kyle!
事情不应该是这样 It wasn't supposed to be like this.
在未来人们应该变得更加友善 People were supposed to get kinder in the future.
我对发生在你俩身上的事很抱歉 I'm so sorry what happened to both of you.
这不是你的错 兰迪 It wasn't your fault, Randy.
这全是斯坦的错 It was all Stan's fault.
是的 这全是斯坦的错 Yes, it was all Stan's fault.
谢谢你们这么说 Thanks for saying that, you guys.
我很抱歉斯坦有时候就是这么欠 I'm sorry Stan sucks so hard sometimes.
别放弃 兰迪 Don't give up, Randy.
人类需要你 Humanity needs you.
不 No!
我一个人做不到 I can't do it alone!
事情如何才有可能回到原来的样子 How can things possibly go back to the way they were?
不会吧 It can't be.
这不可能 It's impossible.
这是正直农场最后的幼苗 It's the last little sprout of Tegridy.
我得把你送到安全的地方去 I have to get you somewhere safe.
我们还有很多事要做 We have a lot of work to do.
我们又接到一个电话说要和维克多·乔斯聊聊的 We just had another call asking to speak with Victor Chouce.
你真是个受欢迎的人 维克多 You're quite a popular man, Victor.
我想知道这都操的什么心 I wonder what all the fuss is about.
还不想说话 是吗 Don't feel like talking, huh?
你会说的 You will.
♪ 我们都 你和我 ♪ ♪ We are all, you and me ♪
翻译：迟早
♪ 我们生活在未来 ♪ ♪ We are all living in the future ♪
翻译：不存在的宰伞
♪ 我们拿不到东西因为船晚点了 ♪ ♪ We can't get stuff 'cause boats are late ♪
翻译：Joe
♪ 并且在未来没有人上班 ♪ ♪ And nobody's working in the future ♪
翻译：小铭
♪ 塔可钟餐厅不再卖粟米饼了 ♪ ♪ They don't sell tostadas anymore at Taco Bell ♪
校对：小铭
♪ 欢迎来到未来 ♪ ♪ Welcome to the future ♪
♪ 在未来 ♪ ♪ In the future ♪
♪ 我们生活在未来 ♪ ♪ We are living in the future ♪
♪ 这就是未来 ♪ ♪ It's the future ♪
♪ 我们生活在未来 ♪ ♪ We're living in the future. ♪