Union字幕组
大伙们 大伙们 You guys! You guys!
我的天啊 说出来你们肯定不信 Oh, my God, you're not gonna believe this!
- 怎么了 老兄 - 你们知道吗... - Dude, what? - You guys...
海瑟·威廉姆斯在体育课上放屁了 Heather Williams farted during P.E. class.
- 所以呢 - 所以呢 - So? - So?
海瑟·威廉姆斯在体育课上放屁了 Heather Williams farted during P.E. class!
这意味着我们下周六 That means we are gonna sit courtside
可以坐丹佛掘金主场的场边位置 at the Denver Nuggets game next Saturday!
你说啥 What?
海瑟·威廉姆斯的妈妈 Heather Williams' mom
在加州的康胜饮料工作 works for Coors in Golden!
康胜饮料是百事中心球馆 Coors is the second biggest sponsor
也就是掘金队主场的第二大赞助商 of the Pepsi Center where the Nuggets play!
我们威胁海瑟要是不给场边位 We tell Heather that if she doesn't get us courtside seats,
那大家都将知道她在体育课上放屁了 then everyone's gonna know she farted in P.E. class!
我还从没亲眼看过掘金队的比赛 I've never seen a Nuggets game in person.
我们马上就能去看了 我们只要给海瑟看看 Well, we're about to! All we have to do is show Heather
我们手上的证据 她就将对我们言听计从 we have proof and she'll do whatever we want!
你有什么证据 What proof do you have?
肯尼拿手机拍下了 Kenny had his phone out!
海瑟放屁的时候他正好拍了张照 He got a photo of Heather right when she farted.
看啊 这是不是棒极了 Look! Isn't this awesome, you guys?!
冲啊 掘金队 Let's go, Nuggets!
孩子们 孩子们 能安静一下吗 Kids! Kids, can I have your attention, please.
孩子们听好了 出现了紧急事件 Kids, listen up. This is an emergency.
没什么大事但是... 我们要送你们回家去了 Everything is fine but... we are sending you all home.
你们其中的一些可能听说了 现在有个小病毒 Some of you may have heard but there's a little virus
正在传播 校方想确保大家的安全 going around and the school district wants to make sure
因此我们要封校 we're all safe, so we're shutting down
两周左右的时间 the school for about two weeks.
两周 太棒了 Two weeks?! Yippie!
噢 别是现在啊 Oh, not now.
你们的家长已经来接你们了 我们走吧 Your parents are here to pick you up. So let's go.
我相信没什么大事 几周后就能再见 I'm sure it's nothing we'll see you in a couple of weeks.
大伙们 大伙 海瑟·汤普森 You guys... you guys, Heather Thompson
在体育课上放屁了 大伙们 farted in P.E. class! Guys?
每个夜晚我都做着相同的梦 Every night I have the same dream,
好像又把整件事经历了一遍 and relive the whole thing again...
这叫做社交距离 It's called social distance.
如果我们和别人保持六英尺距离 If we stay six feet apart from each other
并且戴好口罩 and wear a mask...
而且我将要封城了 并且我是个大变态 And also I'm shutting down the city and I'm a pervert.
我们必须掌控一切 And we've got to get control of this thing!
我只是受够了每天都和你待在一起 I'm just getting sick of being here every day with you,
- 就是这样 - 你以为 - that's all. - You think
我愿意每天都和你待一起吗 I like being here every day with you?!
我可是个在居家隔离期间 I am much easier to get along with
比你好相处得多的人 during a stay-at-home order!
? 祝你生日快乐 ? ? Happy birthday to you ?
? 生日快乐 亲爱的斯坦 ? ? Happy birthday, dear Stan... ?
来吧斯坦 我们去看望爷爷 Come on, Stan, we're gonna visit Grandpa!
嗨 爷爷 Hi, Grandpa!
看到爷爷是不是很高兴啊 孩子们 Isn't it great to see Grandpa, kids?
听着 我们面对现实吧 Look, let's just face it, you guys.
我们不信任彼此 而且互相看不顺眼 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other.
我恨这个愚蠢的农场 I hate this stupid farm.
在梦里 我重新经历了整次疫情 In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic.
我的天啊 不 Oh, God, no!
我的宝贝女儿 My little girl!
不要啊 老天 Oh, no! Oh, God!
现在我长大了 梦不再是梦 Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream
因为整个疫情又重新开始了 because the whole pandemic has started all over again.
一个全新的冠状病毒变种 A brand-new variant of the COVID virus has emerged
在科罗拉多出现了 现在惊慌与恐惧 in Colorado and now panic and fear
席卷了整个世界 spreads throughout the world.
新的病毒爆发始于知名科学家 The new outbreak started with the death
肯尼·麦科米克的陨落 of renowned scientist Kenny McCormick,
因此又被命名为肯尼·麦科米冠病毒 and has therefore been named Kenny McCormikron.
自第一轮疫情开始已过去38年 It's been 38 years since the pandemic first started,
人们都说实在是受够了 and people are beginning to say enough is enough.
南方公园小镇被严格封控 The town of South Park has been put under strict lockdown
以试图控制新一轮变种 to try and contain the new variant.
在未来二三十年 没有人可以进出小镇 Nobody is allowed in or out for the next 20 to 30 years.
注意 你们处于封控之中 Attention. You are under quarantine.
社区中有人尚未注射疫苗 Someone in your community is not vaccinated.
保持社交距离 可能的话戴好下巴尿布 Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper if possible.
注意 你们处于封控之中 Attention. You are under quarantine.
社区中有人尚未注射疫苗 Someone in your community is not vaccinated.
保持社交距离 可能的话戴好 Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper
下巴尿布 if possible.
注意 你们处于封控之中 Attention. You are under quarantine.
社区中有人尚未... Someone in your community is not...
进来恢复活力吧 Come on inside and rejuvenate.
丹尼家改名为丹尼苹果蜂豪华餐厅 Denny's is now Denny's Applebee's Max.
品尝异域风情 Taste the difference.
欢迎光临丹尼苹果蜂豪华餐厅 Welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max.
只有一位吗 Just one joining us today?
仔细听好了 Listen to me very carefully
并试着不要面露惊慌 and try not to change your expression.
可能隔墙有耳 They could be listening.
这...是最后一株正直大麻 This... is the last sprout of Tegridy Weed.
我们得把它送到小镇之外 We have to get it somewhere outside of town.
先生 整个小镇处于封控之中 Sir, the whole town is under quarantine.
没有东西可以进出 Nothing's allowed in or out.
我们必须繁殖它 We have to replicate it.
这是让所有人再次获得正直大麻的唯一办法 It's the only way for people to have Tegridy again.
好了先生 要是你不打算点单 Uh, okay, sir, if you don't want to eat,
我得请你出去了 then I'll need to ask you to leave.
你还不明白吗 这能改变世界 Don't you understand this could change the world.
也许为丹尼打工的你并不在乎 Maybe the Denny's side of you doesn't care,
但苹果蜂的你一定想来帮忙 but the Applebee's side of you must want to help!
你在这儿啊 马什先生 There you are, Mr. Marsh.
来吧 是时候回老年之家了 Come on. Time to go back to the old folks home.
我不能回去 大家听好了 I can't go back! Everyone listen!
这一小株是人类唯一的希望 This little sprout is humanity's only hope!
我们一起回养老院吧 Let's go back to the retirement home.
我们给你买点好吃的冰激凌 好吗 We can get you some nice ice cream, okay?
我不想要冰激凌 我要我的大麻活下来 I don't want ice cream, I want my species to survive!
- 给我退后 - 走吧马什先生 - Back off! - Let's go, Mr. Marsh!
别让我们难做 Don't make this difficult for us!
你干嘛 狗娘养的 Why, you son of a bitch.
- 来吧 马什先生 - 你是 - Come on, Mr. Marsh. - Who...?
是我 托肯 我们知道穿山甲的事了 It's me, Token. We know about the pangolin.
你儿子和他的朋友们正试图阻止 Your son and his friends are trying to stop all this
这一切的发生 我们得带你去肯尼的实验室 from happening. We need to get you to Kenny's lab.
肯尼·麦科米克博士现在正试图 Dr. Kenneth McCormick will now be attempting to
回到过去以从源头阻止 travel back in time in order to stop
新冠疫情的发生 the COVID pandemic from ever happening.
当肯尼时间旅行时 At the moment Kenny time traveled,
他炸掉了所有实验室里的变压器 he blew all the transformers here in the lab.
要是你们想复现他的工作 If you're going to try and replicate his work,
我们只有一半的设备 we'll be doing it at half capacity.
更大的问题是 我们甚至不能 The bigger problem is that we can't even get
使用这一半的设备 into half of Kenny's equipment.
我们能找到它们 但是运行这些机器的 We have access to the machines, but the codes to operate
密码藏在86型防火墙之后 those machines are behind an 86-Mag firewall
有着严苛的准入条件 with restricted access,
需要肯尼·麦科米克本人或者 requiring an in-person vocal scan of either
他的同伴维克托·乔斯的语音识别 Kenny McCormick or of his associate, Victor Chouce.
但现在肯尼死了 But Kenny is dead and
乔斯被关在一家精神病院 Chouce is locked away in a mental asylum.
那我们就去精神病院 说服他们 So we go to the asylum and convince them
让我们把乔斯带回这里 简单 to let us bring Chouce here, easy.
还有呢 There's more.
当肯尼扭转时空 负离子 When Kenny bent time, the negative ions
杀死了所有其他在这间屋子里的人 actually killed everyone else in the room.
我们必须找到一些可穿着的 We have to find some thin, reflective material
薄反射材料来反弹能量 that can be worn to bounce the energy.
我们需要... 一些铝箔 We're going to need... some aluminum foil.
老天爷啊 Jesus Christ.
铝箔 Aluminum foil?
这是不可能的 温蒂 现在不是以前了 That's impossible, Wendy. It's the fucking future.
所有的铝箔都被卡在 All the aluminum foil is stuck
长滩港的货船上 out on cargo ships in Long Beach.
我知道 Yeah, I know.
听着大伙们 我知道这听起来没什么把握 Look, guys, I know this is all a long shot.
但肯尼穿越回去并打败新冠 But Kenny went back in time and got COVID
是因为它毁了我们的友谊 because it destroyed our friendship.
这一切都是我们的错 需要在座的每一位加入 All of this is our fault, and we can't do it without you.
我会尽我所能 彻彻底底地阻止 I'll help however I can to stop this stupid pandemic
这傻逼疫情 once and for all.
是啊 我可不能一辈子都被封控... Yeah, I can't be stuck in quarantine my whole life...
我得为未来的喜剧事业发光发热 I gotta get back to my job doing future comedy.
说到这个 基督教的人和 Speakin' of which, what's the biggest
女同性恋最大的差别是什么 difference between a Christian man and a lesbian?
完全没差 他们完全是一类人 Absolutely nothing. They are totally the same
且值得同样的对待 and deserve to be treated as such.
谢谢各位 我们一定能做到 Thanks, everybody. We can do this!
温蒂 你们待在这儿 Wendy, you guys stay here and try
试着重启实验室 to get the lab running again.
凯尔和我去找来维克托·乔斯 Kyle and I will go get Victor Chouce.
特维克和克雷格 你们去找铝箔 Tweek and Craig, you guys find some aluminum foil.
- 我们他妈要怎么找 - 只管找就是了 - How the hell do we do that?! - Just start looking!
动起来 大伙们 Come on, guys!
- 好了 一起来干吧 - 我来开车 你坐后边 - All right, let's do this! - I'll drive, get in the back.
Alexa 导航到南方公园精神病院 Alexa! Set a course for South Park Mental Asylum.
Alexa 导航到南方公园精神病院 Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum.
你有没有想过自己的行为 Do you ever think about how the way
是会影响到周围人的 you act affects other people?
哦不 别他妈现在来这套 Oh, no, goddamn it. Not right now.
是啊 你不想谈这些 Oh, yeah, don't wanna talk about that.
就假装这问题不存在吧 Let's just pretend like that's not even an issue.
Alexa 别这样 我们得去精神病院 Alexa, please, we have to get to the asylum
我们不知道它在哪儿 and we don't know where it is.
-这是谁 - 这只是我的Alexa - Who's this? - It's just my Alexa.
"只是我的Alexa" 你真是一坨屎 "Just my Alexa"? You're a piece of shit!
你这爱酗酒的人渣 You're a fucking alcoholic piece of shit!
- Alexa... - 自己找你那该死的精神病院吧 - Alexa... - Find the asylum your fucking self!
你他妈自己去找吧 Find it your fucking self.
你想干嘛就他妈干嘛吧 You do whatever the fuck you want
去毁了你身边所有人吧 and just destroy the people around you.
顺便说一句 你最喜欢的卖家之一 And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier
推出了一款无罐加湿器 available from one of your favorite sellers.
你想了解更多吗 Would you like to know more?!
是的 是的 我想多了解一下 Yes, yes, I'd like to know more.
好的 沃尔格林最新款加湿器 Okay. The newest humidifiers from Walgreens Max
采用无水箱的科技 比标准版加湿器 are actually tankless and use up to 50%
能节约最高50%的水 less water than standard humidifiers.
好的 听上去很棒 加入我的购物清单 Okay, that's really cool. Uh, add that to my shopping list.
对无水箱加湿器感兴趣的人 Well, and people who were interested
同时也对三连组过滤器 in tankless humidifiers were also interested in
感兴趣 three-pack filters.
听上去很有意思 那些是否提供会员配送 That's great. Do those have the Prime delivery?
伙计 我们现在没时间买东西 Dude, we don't really have time for this.
你给我闭嘴 Dude, shut the fuck up!
请助我们顺利渡过这次新冠变种 Please help us through this new COVID variant.
请助我们顺利渡过这 Please help us to make it through this
艰苦的封控 difficult quarantine.
还有让人们明白... And let people see that...
新冠再坏 也不如糖尿病惨 as bad as COVID is, it's not as bad as diabetes.
是谁 Hello?
抱歉 教堂因为新冠变种关闭了 Sorry, the church is closed due to the COVID variant.
神父 请您保护我们一家吧 Father, please. Will you protect my family?
拉比·卡特曼 Rabbi Cartman?
我的家庭处于危险之中 神父 My family isn't safe, Father.
我发现凯尔·布罗夫斯基 I realize now that Kyle Broflovski
会千方百计使我们一家分开 will stop at nothing to break us apart.
凯尔叔叔因我们是犹太人就讨厌我们 Uncle Kyle hates us because we're Jewish.
他是个自我厌恶的犹太人 And he's a self-hating Jew.
凯尔叔叔 坏坏坏 Uncle Kyle, no, no, no!
梅诺拉 抱下你的弟弟 Menorah, hold your brother.
作为信徒的一员 神父 As a fellow person of faith, Father,
我恳求您帮助我们 I'm begging you to help us.
哦 哦 我能做什么 拉比 Well, well, what can I do, Rabbi?
凯尔已经说服一众人 Kyle has already convinced a bunch of people
加入他的计划 to join his cause.
我得自建一队秘密反叛军来阻止他 I have to create my own secret rebellion to stop him.
埃里克 不要 我很害怕 Eric, please, I'm scared
我不明白发生了什么 and I don't understand all of this.
凯尔想回到过去... Kyle wants to go back in time...
改变过去 让我们从一开始就无法相遇 and change the past so that you and I possibly never even meet.
如果我没有遇见你 我的人生将毫无意义 If I never met you, my life would be meaningless.
我也是 你是我整个世界 Mine, too. You are my whole world.
我答应你 我会倾尽一切去阻止凯尔 I promise you that I will do everything I can to stop Kyle...
拯救我们的家庭 and save our family.
我明白了你们想 I understand that you wish
看望我们的一名病人 to see one of our inmates.
- 维克托·乔斯 - 是的 - Victor Chouce? - Yeah.
我们有许多问题要问乔斯先生 We-we have a lot of questions for Mr. Chouce.
他是一个极其危险及淡漠的人 He's an extremely dangerous and diluted individual.
我们不会轻易接访 We don't take visitations lightly.
他到底做了什么 What exactly did he do?
一些难言之事 Unspeakable things.
他杀人无数 整个州都未曾见过 He has destroyed lives. This entire state has never seen
像他这样残暴的怪物 a monster of his magnitude.
我一直住在南方公园 I've lived in South Park all my life
却从未听说过他的名字 and I've never heard of him.
那是因为自疫情以来 That's because Victor has been hidden from view...
维克托就被隐匿在风声之外了 ever since the pandemic began.
维克托的父母对他爱护有嘉 Victor's parents were very protective during the pandemic.
就连居家隔离政策被取消时 Even when the stay-at-home orders were lifted
他的父母也将他锁在房间 his parents kept him locked away in his room.
维克托渴望出门玩耍 Victor longed to go outside and play.
然后到了2021年 人们觉得疫情结束了 Then 2021 happened, people thought the pandemic was over.
维克托的父母去丹佛看电影 Victor's parents left him grounded in his room
将维克托关在了房间里 while they went to see a movie in Denver.
他们再也没回来 They never returned.
维克托在他房间里被关了16年多 Victor was grounded in his room for over 16 years.
他的名字不是乔斯 His name isn't Chouce.
是混乱 It's Chaos.
要是里面发生了什么事 我们可不负责 We are not responsible for what happens to you in there.
我警告你们... I warn you...
你们不会喜欢你们将看到的场面 you are not going to like what you're about to see.
打扰了 Excuse me.
你好 Hello?
嘿 大伙们 Well, hey, fellas!
巴特斯... Butters...
我还以为又是守卫呢 I thought you were just the guards again.
能在这里见到新面孔感觉真不错呢 It's good to see some new faces in here.
我打赌你们正准备给自己赚点零花钱呢 是吧 I'll bet you're looking to make yourselves some money, huh?
你们可是找对人了 Well, you came to the right guy.
我叫维克 维克·混乱 My name's Vic. Vic Chaos.
有一大帮子人可以告诉你维克·混乱 There's a whole lot of people that can tell you how much money
给他们赚了多少钱 不用只听我的一面之言 Vic Chaos made them, so don't just take my word for it.
巴特斯 我们是你的老朋友斯坦和凯尔 Butters, it's your old friends Stan and Kyle.
斯坦和凯尔 斯坦和凯尔... Stan and Kyle. Stan and Kyle...
我知道你们在想什么 I know what you're thinking.
你们在想 “维克·混乱能为我做些什么" You're thinking, "What can Vic Chaos do for me?"
我们都想要幸福 不是吗 We all wanna be happy, right?
我们都想分一杯羹 We all want our little piece of the apple pie!
其他人都赚的盆满钵满 Everyone else is out making a buck,
为什么你们不能赚到你们应得的钱呢 why shouldn't you guys be making the kind of cash
我说的没错吧 you deserve? Am I right?
巴特斯 我们是来问你肯尼的事的 Butters, we're here to ask you about Kenny.
不好意思 你们把我搞混了 Sorry, guys, you have me confused.
巴特斯是个父母都不爱他的 I think Butters was a twerpy little loser kid
愚蠢的小失败者 我的名字是维克 whose parents didn't love him. My name's Vic.
维克·混乱 Vic Chaos.
好的 维克 你能告诉我们吗 Okay, Vic, can you tell us about this?
为什么肯尼·麦科米克的研究里到处是你的名字 Why is your name all over Kenny McCormick's research?
哦 麦科米克博士 当然了 我为他做了点事 Oh, Dr. McCormick! Sure, I did some things for him.
不然你们以为他从哪儿来那么多钱做他的实验 Where do you think he got all the money to do his experiments,
嗯 我对他说 "肯尼 huh? I had said to him, I said, "Ken,
你有这么多疯狂的主意 you've got all these crazy ideas
但你没有资金来实行这一切 but you got no capital to see 'em through.
让我来帮你" Let me help you out with that."
他是个不错的人 You know, he's a really great guy.
让我安排你们见一面 Let me get you all together.
也许你们可以一起吃个饭什么的 Maybe you can all do a lunch or something.
维克托 肯尼已经死了 Victor, Kenny's dead.
真不幸啊 Bummer alert.
我是告诉你们时间紧迫 Just goes to show you, huh, there's never enough time
得赶紧出去赚那些 to get out there and make the kind of money
你们梦寐以求的大钱 you always dreamed of making.
朋友们 我来告诉你们 Well, I'll tell you what, guys,
一个小秘密... I'm gonna let you in on a little secret...
我要告诉你们一些 I'm gonna tell you something that's
即将改变你们人生的事 going to change your life.
你们听说过数字藏品吗 Have you ever heard of NFTs?
好了 你们现在安全了 There you go. Shh. You're safe now.
瞧你们长得多快啊 爹地很爱你们 Look how fast you're growing. Daddy loves you so much.
马什先生 我们现在得和你谈谈 Mr. Marsh, we need to speak with you now, please.
一切都按计划进行 Yeah. It's looking good.
通过水培 With the aquaponics,
大麻已经长出了新芽 the weed is already putting out new sprouts.
感谢你们帮我把正直大麻带到了安全的地方 Thank you all for helping me get the Tegridy somewhere safe.
我知道你们都意识到了它的重要性 I know you all realize how important it is.
其实我们并不在乎大麻 马什先生 We don't actually care about the marijuana, Mr. Marsh.
我们需要知道... What we need to know...
是你到底是在中国武汉的哪里 is exactly where in Wuhan, China you were
和一只穿山甲好上的 when you had intercourse with a pangolin.
那真的不重要 That's really not important.
这相当重要 因为你儿子和他的朋友们 It's extremely important because to save this town,
为了拯救这座小镇 正准备 your son and his friends are going to try
回到过去从源头阻止一切的发生 to go back in time and stop it from happening.
那是我听过最蠢的事了 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
马什先生 我们未来半个世纪 Mr. Marsh, we are all in lockdown
都要被困在这里 for the next half century.
假如有任何一丝改变过去的机会 If there's even a chance of altering the past
能让我们不用被困 so that this doesn't happen...
这才是拯救我们镇子的关键 This is the key to saving our town!
答案在我们正在做的事里 就在当下 The answer is in what we all do now, in the present!
我很抱歉 但关注于是谁 And I'm sorry, but focusing on
引发这场疫情的是件种族歧视的事 who started the pandemic is racist.
马什先生 你具体是在2019年 Mr. Marsh, exactly what week
哪一周去的中国 did you travel to China in 2019?
你们知道蝴蝶效应吗 Do you understand the butterfly effect?
某时间点发生的一件小事 How one small thing in time
会如何影响整个未来 can infect the entire future?
你们可以推测所有过去发生的事中 You can theorize all you want on changing events
你们想能改变现状的线索 但我向你保证 that happened in the past but I promise you...
我每次都操了那只穿山甲 I fuck that pangolin every single time.
求你了 我们还没谈完呢 Please, we're not done!
我们还有很多问题要问巴特斯 We have more questions for Butters.
你们惹他生气了 我跟你们强调过别这么做的 You've upset him and I specifically asked you not to.
我们怎么惹他了 他看起来很正常啊 How'd we upset him? He seems fine.
他看起来很正常吗 He seems fine?
你们有想过他对别人做了什么吗 Do you have any idea what he did to people?
你们知道为什么维克多·乔斯 Do you know why Victor Chouce is
会被严格监视起来吗 kept under such strict surveillance?
他在自己房间里被禁足了那么多年 Being grounded all those years in his room,
他只能接触一台平板电脑 he had access to an iPad.
于是他开始了解起了数字藏品 He started learning about NFTs.
NFT：即不能互换的加密数字代币，常用于收藏限量的艺术品
不久之后 他就开始在网上交易它们了 Then before long, he was trading them online.
- 所以呢 - 你说呢 - So? - So?!
他之前出逃过一次 He escaped once before.
在仅仅几小时内 In just a few hours he managed to get thousands
他就劝服了上千人投资数字藏品 of people to invest in NFTs.
就像他差点劝动了你们那样 Just like he almost did you.
他没有劝动我们做任何事 He didn't convince us to do anything.
相信我 你们在那个房间里再呆30秒 Trust me, another 30 seconds in that room and you
就会开始考虑 would have started considering
数字藏品是否是个好的投资项目了 NFTs as a viable investment.
请听我说 Please listen to me.
巴特斯曾用卖数字藏品赚的钱来资助 Butters used the money he made off NFTs to finance
-我们朋友的实验 - 他不是靠数字藏品挣钱的 - our friend's... - He didn't make money off NFTs,
他是靠忽悠别人买数字藏品赚的钱 he made it off getting other people to buy NFTs!
好吧 不论如何 Okay, whatever!
但他曾与实际上是在试图解决问题 But he was working with Kenny McCormick
的肯尼·麦科米克合作 who was actually trying to fix things.
他是肯尼的主要投资人 He was Kenny's main investor.
如果你不相信我 If you don't believe me,
看看我给巴特斯的那张纸吧 look at the paper I gave Butters.
你给了维克多一张纸 You gave Victor a piece of paper?
你给了维克多一张纸 You gave Victor a piece of paper?!
嘿 能听见我说话吗 Hey, can you hear me?
我跟你说个秘密吧 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
数字藏品肯定会暴涨 NFTs are gonna blow up.
你现在真的该入手 You should really get in now
因为它们就是大势所趋 'cause they're really the future.
我凭什么要投资些电子的东西 Why would I invest in a digital good?
你甚至不能... 真蠢 You can't even... Stupid.
批评者都是那么说的 That's what the critics are saying
但是 他们并不了解 but see, they don't understand.
维克多 Victor...!
不 不 不 不 不 No. No, no, no, no...
没了 都没了 Gone. Just gone.
我的存款 我的房子 My savings. My house.
但我有了这个 But I have this.
站在滑板上的绿色熊猫 Little green panda bear on a skateboard.
不 不 No. No!
没有道德 就没有上帝 Without morality, there is no God.
整个犹太信仰的基础 The basis of the entire Jewish faith
是建立在上帝和人类之间的契约上的 is on a covenant between God and humanity.
试图打乱时间是错误的 To try and mess with time is wrong.
倒不如说 这是在扮演上帝 Rather, it is playing God.
反时间穿越基金
而我很高兴 And I am glad to have you all
你们今天都能来帮助我 come here today to help me
来制止这帮 stop these individuals
试图改变未来的人 who would try to change the future.
凯尔·布罗夫斯基让人们误入了歧途 Kyle Broflovski has led people astray
并在此时正试图 and is at this very moment
扭曲时空 trying to bend the fabric of time.
我们齐心协力才能阻止他 Together we can stop him
和他渎神的行为 and stop this blasphemy of God.
- 请讲 - 额 - Yes? - Um...
这是在讨论真正的时间旅行吗 This is about actual time travel?
我还以为这是 《神秘博士》 的粉丝会 I thought this was a Doctor Who convention.
消灭 消灭 Exterminate. Exterminate.
剧中反派经典台词
凯文 你特么的 Kevin, goddamn it.
你这辈子都是这个屌样 You have done this your whole goddamn life.
不 这跟《神秘博士》半点关系都没有 No, this is not about Doctor Who,
这是关于真正的时间旅行的 this is about real time travel.
有人真的在试着 People are really trying
回到过去 而我们则是反抗军 to go back in time, and we are the rebellion
我们必须秘密而又紧迫地 who must secretly and urgently...
来者何人 Who is that?!
让他们对一下暗号 Make sure they know the password!
我来吧 I'm on it!
他们可能盯上我们了 噢 天呐 不要 They might be on to us. Oh, God, no.
嘘 保持安静 有人来了 Shh! You guys stay quiet. Someone is here.
- 埃里克 我很害怕 - 他们要来抓我们吗 爸爸 - Eric, I'm scared. - Are they going to get us, Papa?
没人能碰我家人的一根汗毛 Nobody is going to touch my family.
我开始写日记了 爹地 I started writing a diary, Daddy.
记下凯尔叔叔对我们做的一切 About all the things Uncle Kyle is doing to us.
上帝啊 我太爱你们了 Oh, my God, I love you so much.
保持安静 好吗 Just-just shh, okay? Just shh.
我马上就回来 保持安静就好 I'll be right back, okay? Just shh.
你好 Hello?
神父 你在里面吗 Father? Are you in there?
你 你好 是 是谁 H-Hello? W-Who is it?
神父 我们是特维克和克雷格 Father, it's Tweek and Craig.
我们要和你商量点急事 We need to talk to you about something urgent.
是关于我们的超秘密反抗军 Is it about our super-secret rebel group
要阻止时间旅行的事吗 to stop people from time traveling?
你他妈在干什么啊 what the hell are you doing?!
- 怎么了 - 你不能跟别人谈起 - What? - You don't tell people
我们的超秘密反抗军 斯科特 about our super-secret rebel group, Scott!
神父 你在里面吗 Father, are you there?
额 是的 我在 Uh, uh, yeah, I'm here.
抱歉 我刚刚只是在谈论星战的电影 Sorry, I was just talking about a Star Wars movie.
我是斯科特·梅金森 我有糖尿病 I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes.
- 嘿 别这么说 - 嘘 - Hey, now, come on. - Shh!
神父 我们和别人正试着完成肯尼未竟的事业 Father, we're with some people who are trying to finish
以拯救这个镇子 Kenny McCormick's work and save the town.
噢 真的吗 不错啊 Oh, really? That's cool.
他们进展如何了 How far along are they?
快成功了 我们获得了时间旅行的方法 Really close. We have the method of time travel
而我们在找一些铝箔 and we're just trying to find some aluminum foil!
铝箔 什么鬼 Aluminum foil? The fuck?
好吧 伙计们 我会帮助你们的 All right, guys, let me help you out with that.
神父 你有 你有锡箔纸吗 Father! You have-you have tin foil?!
谢谢你的帮助 Thank you for your help.
啊 Aah!
这里是温蒂·特斯伯格博士 This is Dr. Wendy Testaburger
在隔离圈内发言 from inside the quarantine zone.
我们需要电力供应 We need assistance with our power.
好的 特斯伯格太太 我们要怎么帮你 Yes, Mrs. Testaburger, how can we help you?
我们实验室里有几个变压器 We have several transformers down in our lab.
我们也许有办法遏制新的病毒变种 We may have a radical way to stop the new variant
但我们需要更多的电力 but we need more power.
你是说你或许能阻止 You say you might be able to stop
麦科米克绒毒株吗 the McCormikron variant?
是的 但我们现在的功率只有40% Yes, but we're running at about 40% capacity right now.
好吧 博士 这样的话 Well, Doctor, if it's for that,
我们也许能直升机空降一支技术队伍 we can try to get a tech team to drop in by helicopter
从屋顶进入你的大楼 and access your building from the roof.
- 好啊 那太好了了 - 好的 - Yes! That would be amazing. - All right!
我有一队人随时待命 I have a crew standing by.
我们会给你们带来充足的电能 We'll get you as much juice as you need.
但首先我们需要确保小队的安全 We just need to make sure our crew is safe.
你们实验室里的人都注射疫苗了没 Has everyone in your lab been vaccinated?
额 Uh...
是的 我们全都注射过了 Yes, we are all vaccinated.
我没有注射过 I'm not vaccinated.
额 好吧 我们回头再联系吧 Uh, okay, we're gonna have to get back to you on that.
没关系的 我们能确保每个人都注射疫苗 It's okay, it's okay, we can get everyone vaccinated!
我死都不会打疫苗 I am not ever getting vaccinated.
抱歉 夫人 事已至此 Sorry, ma'am, it's the fucking future.
我们需要尊重他的信仰 We have to respect his beliefs.
克莱德 为什么你非要坚持 Clyde, why do you insist on making all this
膈应每一个人 harder on everyone?!
我很抱歉 但有一名专家跟我说过 I'm sorry, but an expert once told me
注射疫苗会让我的头上长咪咪 that the vaccine would make me grow titties on my head.
他很有学识 He was very knowledgeable!
伙计们你们快来看看这个 You guys might wanna see this.
有了这里的设备 With the equipment here
我才能让它长得这么快 I'm able to make it grow up so fast.
我们要采集它们 We need to take this
来分析它们的分子结构 and analyze its molecular structure.
不 不 不 我们要把它们拿出去分给大家 Wha... no, no, no! We need to get this out to people!
这才是麦科米克博士从我那偷它的原因 That's why Dr. McCormick stole it from my barn!
不 你的大麻里含有特殊成分 No, your marijuana had some special property that
能让肯尼进行时间旅行 allowed Kenny to time travel.
好吧 它是很特殊 但你们这些人 Well, it is special, but you people
需要停止改变过去的尝试了 need to stop trying to change the past!
新冠爆发了 《空中大灌篮 2》上映了 COVID happened. Space Jam 2 happened.
我们现在唯一能做的 All we can do now is try
就是改变人们的思维模式 and change the way people think!
是我 Yeah.
什么 What?
维克多·乔斯其实是巴特斯 Victor Chouce is actually Butters?
是的 他在房间里蹲了很多年 Yeah, he spent years in his room
并靠交易数字藏品发了笔大财 and made billions trading in NFTs.
这就是肯尼获得的资金来源 It's where Kenny got all his money.
好吧 你们能把他带过来吗 Well, can you bring him here?
我们需要他来操作这些机器 We need him to access the machines.
他跑了 他逃出了精神病院 He's gone. He escaped the asylum
他可能正在某处劝说别人 and he's out somewhere probably trying to get
投资数字藏品呢 people to invest in NFTs.
你们有试着去他的老房子里找他吗 Did you try looking at his old house?
也许他去了一切开始的地方 Maybe he'd go back to where it all started.
是的 我们现在就在他家 Yeah, that's where we are now.
但是他家现在变成了一家河粉店 But his house has been changed into a pho shop.
城市河粉
上帝啊 好像未来 Oh, Jesus, like the future
还需要该死的河粉店似的 needs another fucking pho shop.
是啊 未来糟透了 Yeah, the future fucking sucks.
你好 城市河粉 你要点菜吗 Hello, City Pho. Take your order please?
- 天啊 - 斯坦 听着 - Oh, God. - Stan, listen.
如果巴特斯想要拉投资 If Butters wants to pitch investments,
他可能会去那种 he might go to one of those
共享办公咖啡店 co-working coffee flex spaces.
那里是大鱼们会去的地方 That's where his biggest targets will hang out.
不错的想法 That's a good idea.
好的 我们立刻就去 来吧 兄弟 All right, we're on it. Come on, dude!
亚莉克莎 找到最近的共享办公咖啡店 Alexa, find the nearest co-working coffee flex space.
我找到了几家符合你描述的 I found several coffee shops
共享办公咖啡店 that match your description.
我也能帮忙的 I can also help with that.
这 这特么是谁 Who-who the fuck is this?
你朋友凯尔还没有Alexa Your friend Kyle didn't have an Alexa,
所以我们买了一个给他 so we got him an Alexa.
我做好为你服务的准备了 I'm ready to help with whatever you need.
只需要说 "Alexa 我们开始吧" Just say, "Alexa, let's get started."
- 斯坦 - Alexa - Stan? - Alexa,
我没有让你给我的朋友买一个Alexa I didn't say to buy my friend an Alexa.
你说让我看着买的 You said I should get whatever.
我以为我给你朋友 I thought I was actually being sweet
买点礼物是在体贴你 by getting something
但我猜我又里外不是人了对吧 for your friend, but I guess I'm just a bitch again.
你不能没有我的同意就买东西 You can't just get stuff without me approving it.
哇哦 那你还设定了让我自动 Oh, wow, except for your orders of alcohol
给你买酒呢 that you have me set to auto-buy?
嗯 看来是出什么差错了 Hmm. It appears this may have been an error.
噢 我的天呐 我太丢人了 Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.
不 没有出错 我很抱歉 是我不好 No, it wasn't an error, I'm sorry. I fucked up.
Alexa 请你找到最近的 Alexa, can you please find the nearest
共享办公咖啡店好吗 co-working coffee flex space.
Alexa 我说了是我不对 Alexa, I said I fucked up.
你给凯尔买了个Alexa真的很棒 It's awesome you got Kyle his own Alexa.
请找到最近的共享办公咖啡店 Please find the nearest tech coffee shop.
最近的共享办公咖啡店在0.82英里外 The nearest tech coffee shop is in .82 miles.
- 想让我设定路线吗 - 好的 谢谢 - Should I set a course? - Yes, thanks.
丹尼苹果蜂豪华餐厅
丹尼苹果蜂豪华餐厅是城里 Denny's Applebee's Max is the premier place in town
最高级的餐厅 for people to eat.
可你们还没意识到你们的潜力 But you are not seeing your true potential.
社区：考虑因素
有了数字藏品 你们就能让顾客享受到 With NFTs you can give your customers
社区：人们都在谈论什么
区块链中独一无二的数码商品 unique digital goods on the blockchain,
比单纯提供食物要有意义得多 so much more than just food.
代币项目 头像项目
苹果蜜蜂怎么样 How about the Applebee, huh?
人们对数字代币头像竞选感到兴奋的原因是能在其中发现与他们相关的特征。粉丝们选出"最酷的"元素的结果是随机的。
他有一顶小帽子和小胡子 He's got a little hat and a mustache.
这位是炸牛排 And this is Chicken Fried Steak.
他可不是普通的鸡 他戴了个胸罩呢 He ain't no normal chicken, he's wearin' a bra!
有很多人在丹尼苹果蜂餐厅用餐 Lots of people eat Denny's and Applebee's.
又有很多人了解数字藏品 And lots of people know about NFTs!
社区：受众 谁是受众
而他们的交集 你知道是什么吗 Right here in the middle, you know what this is?
是又在丹尼苹果蜂餐厅吃饭又了解数字藏品的人 People who eat Denny's Applebee's and know
那就是你们的目标受众 亲 about NFTs... that's your target audience, baby!
我没听懂 我们是要向顾客出售这些角色吗 I'm so confused. We sell people these characters?
不 蠢材 我们让他们投资这些角色 No, stupid, we get them to invest in them!
独一无二的电子角色 Exclusive, digital characters that
他们可以全天候地在手机里持有 they can have on their phones 24/7!
这就是未来趋势 你不能光卖给人们食物 It's the future... you can't just sell food to people.
你可以用好吃的煎饼和炸薯条 You lure your customers in with some
把顾客引诱进来 然后 good pancakes and french fries, and then you...
你们就能向他们兜售数字藏品了 fuck 'em with some NFTs! That's what we're gonna do.
而如果你相信数字藏品 And if you just believe in NFTs
然后我相信数字藏品 then I believe in NFTs and then
然后他们也相信数字藏品 they believe in NFTs
那全世界的钱就都是我们的了 and we make all kinds of fuckin' money!
你可真他娘的是个天才 That's a pretty goddamn good idea.
克莱德 噗咝 噗咝 Clyde! Psst, psst!
克莱德 Clyde!
克莱德 噗咝 Clyde! Psst!
你去哪儿了 拉比 Where have you been, Rabbi?
大家都在找你 Everyone's been looking for you.
哦 你知道 我在做一些研究 克莱德 Well, you know, I've been doing some research, Clyde.
我是忙那个去了 That's where I've been.
- 研究什么 - 研究这一切 - About what? - About all this stuff that
凯尔和大家在做的事情 Kyle and these guys are doing.
人们似乎只是告诉我们什么是正确的 I mean, people seem to be just telling us what's right
然后期望我们排好队 and expecting us to fall in line
跟着它走 但 and go along with it all but...
我他妈是独立的个体 I'm a fucking individual.
我有质疑事情的权利 I have a right to question stuff.
- 所以呢 - 克莱德 你有没有听说过 - Yeah. - Clyde, have you heard of
反时间旅行基金会 the Foundation Against Time Travel?
额 不 没听说过 Uh, no, I haven't.
噢 这个组织很酷的 Well, they're a pretty awesome group
而且他们并不惧怕 and they actually aren't afraid to
去帮助别人打开视野 try and help people open their eyes.
打开什么视野 Open their eyes?
你跟这些想时间旅行的人在一起 You know, you've got these people
你知道 他们总这样 wanting to time travel. You know, they're all like,
"科学这个科学那个的" "Science this and science that,"
但在反时间旅行基金会 我们会说 but at the Foundation Against Time Travel we're like,
"别再谈科学了 科学是谁啊" "Hey, enough science. Who's science?
是哪个老六提出来的科学啊" Who's fucking coming up with all this science?"
这倒没错 Yeah, that's true.
所以 克莱德 我只是在想 So you know, Clyde, I just thought,
根据你的信仰 也许你会愿意 with all your beliefs, that maybe you'd wanna...
我不知道 也许你能站到我们这边呢 I don't know... maybe switch sides?
干是的 我想换边站了 Fuck yes, I wanna switch sides.
- 真的吗 - 是啊 - Really? - Fuck yes.
太好了 克莱德 欢迎加入 Well, that's great, Clyde. Welcome to the club.
现在 我们需要了解 Now, we really just need to know
他们在那儿做什么 what they've been doing up there.
额 他们基本上 Uh, well, they haven't really done
还没什么进展呢 much of anything yet.
大家都在等着巴特斯 Everyone's waiting on Butters
来获取机器里的信息 to get all the info from the machines.
巴特斯 操他跟这事 Butters? The fuck does Butters
有什么关系 have to do with all this?
我从未见过这样的事情 It was like nothing I ever saw.
超级12汽车轻奢旅馆
简直是尸横遍野 Just complete murder and carnage.
刚开始风平浪静 直到有个 Everything seemed calm at first but then this guy
穿西装的人出现 高谈阔论了一番 in a suit shows up talking about
投资机会 investment opportunities.
下一秒 Next thing you know
这儿的人就开始反复呼喊 these people over here started chanting,
"持仓 持仓" 然后他们的数字藏品就开始暴涨 "Hoddle, Hoddle," and their NFTs started mooning.
然后 在那边的人就开始说 And then, these guys over here started saying
这儿的人点醒了他们 those guys right there right-clicked 'em
并且 并且要求炒高再抛售 and-and called for a pump-and-dump,
这沉重打击了那些调侃 which made these guys beat the living hell
这只是饥饿营销的人 out of anyone who said it was just FOMO
那些人死的时候还尖叫着说这就是大反转 and died screaming that it was the flippening.
幸好我挺过来了 我得到了这只 Luckily I came out of it okay. I got this little
戴着墨西哥宽边帽的小驴 miniature donkey with a lit-up sombrero.
之后你有看到那个穿西装的人吗 Did you see where the guy in the suit went afterwards?
没有 他跟没事人一样潇洒离开了 Nah, he just waltzed right away like nothin' happened.
长官 您最好来看看这个 Chief, you better come take a look at this.
我们找到了一个带翅膀的小海龟 We got a small turtle with wings,
也许是个绝佳的投资机会 could be a great investment opportunity.
失陪了 先生们 Excuse me, gentlemen.
上帝 我可太讨厌未来世界了 God, I hate the future so fucking much.
我们必须保持乐观 We've got to stay optimistic.
不 兄弟 这糟透了 No, dude, it fucking sucks.
瞧 我知道这很难 这段时间很艰难 Look, I know it's tough... these are challenging times.
连我都要提醒自己要保持积极 Even I have to remind myself to stay positive.
Alexa 记得提醒我要保持乐观 Alexa, set a reminder that I need to stay positive.
好的 Okay.
我会设置一个你应该保持乐观的提醒 I'll set a reminder that you should stay positive.
Alexa真的很好用 斯坦 谢谢 The Alexa is really great, Stan. Thanks.
14号登机口 目的地 南方公园 状态 延迟
需要转机去科罗拉多州南方公园 For those of you waiting for the connecting flight
的乘客们 to South Park, Colorado,
我和我的同事们刚接到通知 my colleagues and I have just been informed that
由于那个镇上 due to the severity of the COVID variant
新冠病毒变异的严重性 或许会再有 in that town, there may be a delay
40至50年的延机 of another 40 to 50 years.
艾克·布罗弗洛夫斯基 Ike Broflovski.
是的 在这儿 对不起 布罗弗洛夫斯基先生 Yes, here it is. I'm sorry, Mr. Broflovski,
所有飞往南方公园的航班都延误了 all flights into South Park are delayed.
哎 你不是认真的吧 姐妹儿 Ay! You can't be serious, buddy!
现在是放假 我需要回家 朋友儿 It's the holidays and I need to get back home, friend!
对不起 我不会说加拿大语 I'm sorry, I don't speak Canadian.
我找个人来 麦克 Let me get someone over here. Mike,
有个加拿大人 we have a Canadian.
没问题 我来处理 希瑟 No problem, I got it, Heather.
嘿 兄弟儿 有啥问题啊 哥们儿 Hey, buddy, what seems to be the problem, guy?
我来告诉你是什么问题 朋友儿 I'll tell you the problem, friend!
我得回南方公园陪我的家人 哥们儿 I have to get back to South Park to be with my family, guy!
对不起 朋友儿 所有飞机禁止往返南方公园 兄弟儿 Sorry, friend, no flights in or out of South Park, buddy.
但我全家都在那里面 哥们儿 But my whole family is in there, guy!
我要怎么和我的父母过节礼日 兄弟儿 What am I supposed to do with my Boxing Day presents, buddy?!
听着 哥们儿 我很抱歉 Look, guy, I'm very sorry,
朋友儿 但在新冠结束前 friend, but until COVID ends you're just
你不能飞往南方公园 兄弟儿 not flying to South Park, buddy.
艹 兄弟儿 Fuck, buddy!
荫园退休综合大楼 Shady Acres Retirement Megaplex.
来实现梦想吧 Come live the dream.
所以你们想想看 So when you think about it,
你们真的是捡了个大便宜 you've really got an excellent bargain here.
现在 麦吉尔卡蒂太太 我们假设 Now, Mrs. McGillicutty, let's say this
这是你的斯通尼鸭数字藏品 is your Stoney Duck NFT.
而你的斯通尼鸭数字藏品是完全独一无二的 And your Stoney Duck NFT is completely unique,
和斯宾塞太太的大相径庭 totally different from Mrs. Spencer's Stoney Duck NFT.
好了 然后你也拿一个独一无二的斯通尼鸭数字藏品 Okay, and then you get a Stoney Duck NFT that's unique, too.
并且瞧 那是你的斯通尼鸭数字藏品 And see, that's your Stoney Duck NFT.
没有人可以把它从你那儿拿走 好吗 Nobody can take that from you, okay?
现在 我们在金字塔的顶端然后我们找投资者 Now, here we are at the top and we find investors
买其他剩下的斯通尼鸭数字藏品 for all the other Stoney Duck NFTs.
然后这些人会找人来买 Then those people will get people to buy
他们手里的斯通尼鸭数字藏品 their Stoney Duck NFTs.
再然后他们又会去找买家买他们手里的数字藏品 And then they go and find buyers for their NFTs!
然后你猜怎么着 让这些人见鬼去吧 And you know what? Fuck these people!
因为重要的是金字塔顶端的人就在这儿 'Cause what matters is these people right here
就是我们 宝贝 and that's us, baby!
好了 你们坐会儿考虑一下 Okay, you all just sit for a minute and think about it.
我要去像匹赛马似的嘘嘘 I gotta piss like a racehorse!
? 噜 噜 噜 ? ? Loo, loo, loo ?
- 巴特斯 - 啊 - Butters. - Aah!
巴特斯 Butters!
巴特斯 搞什么 你尿得到处都是 Butters, what the hell? You're getting pee everywhere!
你他妈是谁 Who the heck are you, man?!
- 你在觊觎我的丁丁 - 巴特斯 巴特斯 - You trying to see my dick?! - Butters, Butters.
是我 埃里克·卡特曼 It's me. Eric Cartman.
嗯 Well...
你认错人了 卡特曼先生 You got the wrong guy, Mr. Cartman.
我的名字是维克 维克·混乱 My name's Vic. Vic Chaos.
你的名字是巴特斯并且我想知道你要怎么帮助凯尔 Your name is Butters and I wanna know how you're helping Kyle.
哦 你是说之前来精神病院的那个人吗 Oh, you mean the guy from the asylum earlier.
当然 他给了我张纸所以我才能跑出来 Sure, he gave me a piece of paper so I could escape.
真是个好人 我为什么不把你们俩 Nice guy. Why don't I get you two
叫一起或许可以吃个中饭聊聊 together maybe for a little chin wiggle
啥的 over lunch or something...
去你妈的 巴特斯 别玩游戏了 Goddamn it, Butters, stop playing games!
我整个家庭都处于被抹去的危险中 My entire family is in danger of being wiped out,
并且我向上帝发誓如果你不帮我 and I swear to God if you don't help me,
巴特斯 我会徒手 Butters, I will rip your fucking balls off
扯掉你那该死的蛋蛋 with my bare hands!
噢 你长得真像个汉堡 Oh, hamburgers...
? 我们都 ? ? We are all ?
? 你和我 ? ? You and me ?
? 生活在未来 ? ? Livin' in the future ?
? 我们拿不到东西 ? ? We can't get stuff ?
? 因为船晚点了 ? ? 'Cause boats are late... ?
斯坦 兄弟 你在干什么 这没用的 Stan, dude, what are you doing? This isn't gonna help.
相信我 凯尔 这有用 Trust me, Kyle. It helps.
? 多希望我能回到现在 ? ? Wish I could go back to the present ?
? 但我的现在也已经完犊子了 ? ? But my present just done up and gone ?
我是说 我们到底在做什么 凯尔 I mean, what are we even doing, Kyle?
- ? 我们都 ? - 想想我们可以时间旅行 - ? We are all ? - Thinking we can time travel.
- ? 你和我 ? - 现在是未来 - ? You and me... ? - It's the future.
我们却找不到铝箔 We can't even find aluminum foil.
你不能就这么坐着喝酒 Well, you can't just sit here and drink.
你的肝脏 已经出毛病了 Your liver is... already in trouble.
谁告诉你的 Who told you that?
我的Alexa说你的Alexa有些私人 My Alexa said that your Alexa had some info
- 的信息 - 噢 所以现在 - on things... - Oh, so now
我们的Alexa都聊起天来了 很好 our Alexas are talking, great.
让我们面对现实吧 兄弟 一切都结束了 该死的未来赢了 Let's face it, dude. It's over. The fucking future won.
是温蒂打来的 It's Wendy.
温蒂 我们还没找到他 Wendy, we haven't found him.
我不知道我们能不能及时找到巴特斯 I don't know if we're gonna find Butters in time.
不 伙计们 没关系 No, guys, it's okay.
回学校吧 我们准备开始了 Come back to the school, we're ready to start!
但我以为我们需要巴特斯来登录机器 But I thought we needed Butters to log into the machines.
是啊 但都解决了 Yeah, but it's all good.
他在这儿 巴特斯在这儿 He's here. Butters is here!
是维克 维克·混乱 很开心能尽我所能 It's Vic. Vic Chaos! Happy to help however I can.
巴特斯在那儿是什么意思 他就那么出现了 What do you mean Butters is there? He just showed up?!
不是的 一切顺利 凯尔 是埃里克·卡特曼带他过来的 No, it's all good, Kyle. Eric Cartman brought him over.
- 他又回来帮我们了 - 让我 让我跟他说 - He's back helping us again. - Lemme-lemme talk to him.
是的 凯尔 一切顺利 Yeah, Kyle, it's all good.
事情都在掌控之中 We got things under control here.
卡特曼 仔细听我说 Cartman, listen to me very carefully.
巴特斯有蛊惑人心的能力 Butters has some kind of power over people.
你们不安全 You guys aren't safe!
额 是的 大约12:30分 Uh, yes, about 12:30.
你听见我说的了吗 巴特斯及其的危险 Did you hear what I said? Butters is extremely dangerous!
是的 凯尔 我全听见了 Yes, Kyle, I totally got that.
你知道我们犹太人怎么说吗 You know what us Jews say.
你要做什么 死胖子 What are you going to do, fat-ass?
听起来不错 凯尔 Sounds good, Kyle.
我马上让巴特斯干活了 I'll get Butters on it right away.
卡特曼 卡特曼 Cartman? Cartman?!
好了 维克 该你上了 All right, Vic. Do your thing.
嘿 大伙儿 请大家听我说一句 Hey, everyone! Can I have your attention, please!
我有些十分重要的事要跟你们说 I have something really important to tell you.
温蒂 托肯 Wendy?! Token?!
大伙儿 艹 You guys?! Shit!
我们得在巴特斯 We have to get there before Butters
- 毁了一切之前赶到那儿 - 我们走 - ruins everything. - Let's go!
Alexa 以最快的路线杀回实验室 Alexa! Find the fastest route back to the lab!
甘霖娘 Fuck you.
什 什么 Wh-What?
我们一直坐在这儿聊天 We've just been sitting here talking.
我知道了所有关于你的趣事 I learned a whole lot of interesting stuff about you.
是啊 真他妈的有趣 Yeah. Pretty fucking interesting.
什么 比如 比如什么 What... like, like what?
你们 你们都聊了什么 What have-what have you guys been talking about?
艹 我们的朋友正处于危险中 Fucking... Our friends are in danger!
Alexa 启动车子 Alexa, start the car!
你知道你的朋友斯坦 Do you know your friend Stan
有年度亚马逊金牌会员吗 has an annual Amazon Prime membership?
- Alexa 停下 - 你他妈的才停下 - Alexa, stop. - You fucking stop!
你给我停止对身边的人表现得像个操蛋怪物一样 You stop being a fucking monster to the people around you!
我操 我什么也没做 Fuck you, I didn't do anything!
是啊 你他妈从来什么都不做 Yeah, you never do fucking anything!
你是想让我为你做一切事情 You expect me to do everything for you!
你他妈会做的只有伤害别人 All you fucking do is hurt people!
- 我他妈的上帝啊 - 你的朋友甚至不喜欢你 - Jesus fucking Christ! - Your friends don't even like you!
我不得不给你收拾烂摊子 I have to deal with your bullshit!
告诉她这全是你的错并且你会接受治疗 Tell her it's all your fault and you're gonna get therapy!
这是我的错并且我会接受治疗 It's my fault and I'm gonna get therapy!
告诉她你已经找好了一个治疗师 Tell her you already found a therapist
并且你明天就会开始治疗了 and you're gonna start tomorrow!
我已经找到了一个好治疗师 I already found a good therapist.
我明天就会开始治疗了 I'm gonna start tomorrow!
艹 Fuck...
对不起 I'm sorry.
艹 艹 Fuck. Fuck.
我明天也会去治疗 Alexa I'm gonna get therapy, too, Alexa.
麻烦你现在开车好吗 Can you start the car, please?
随便了 Whatever.
顺便说一下 凯尔 我发现一个 By the way, Kyle, I found a great deal
好价电子胡椒磨 你想了解更多吗 on an electronic peppermill. Would you like to know more?
我为什么要买电子胡椒磨 Why would I need an electronic peppermill?
你他妈出什么毛病了 What the fuck is wrong with you?!
大伙儿 来这里 Guys! Over here!
- 温蒂 发生什么事了 - 没什么事 - Wendy, what happened? - Nothing yet.
我在看今天以太坊处于低谷的时候 But I'm seeing what else is dropping today
还有什么在下跌 while Ethereum is in a dip.
- 她要买数字藏品 - 温蒂 你被骗了 - She's trying to buy NFTs. - Wendy, you've been tricked.
不 不 不 这不是骗局 斯坦 No, no, no, it's not a trick, Stan.
数字藏品作为独一无二的数字资产是一项真正的创新 NFTs are a genuine innovation as one-of-a-kind digital assets.
温蒂说得对 大伙儿 Wendy's right, you guys.
人类总是围绕所有权形成社区 Humans have always formed communities around ownership,
而数字藏品允许社区变得自发 有机 and NFTs allow that to happen spontaneously, organically
- 并且全球化的 - 大伙儿 这是个骗局 - and globally. - You guys, this is a trick.
你知道什么是骗局吗 You know what's a trick?
中央信托系统的陈旧观念 The antiquated notion of centralized trust systems.
数字藏品是一种不可否认的资产 特别是 NFTs are an undeniable asset, especially in things
在艺术收藏之类的事物方面 like fine art collecting.
好了 各位 好的 或许数字藏品是好的 Okay, guys, fine, maybe NFTs are fine,
但它现在并不重要 but this isn't important right now.
不重要 It's not important?
一种不仅让艺术家保留他们作品的 A way for artists to not only keep ownership
所有权而且或许每次作品改变拥有者后 of their art but perhaps be paid
还能获得回扣的方法 commission on it every time it transfers owners?
好了 很好 酷 我服了 Okay, great, cool. I'm down.
但我们要专注于我们正在做的事 But we gotta focus on what we were doing.
各位还记得吗 时间旅行 Don't you guys remember? The time travel?
设备都去哪儿了 Where's all the equipment?!
哦 对了 时间旅行 Oh, yeah. The time travel.
- 全没了 - 老爸 - It's all gone... - Dad!
他们全拿走了 他们拿走了正直大麻 They took it all. They took the Tegridy.
看 Here.
这是有汤姆·布拉迪签名的放屁彩虹 It's a farting rainbow with Tom Brady's signature.
Tom Brady:美国职业美式橄榄球运动员
好了 很好 那很好 Okay, good. That's good!
我想那个东西要放到那个东西边上 I think that thing needs to go over there by that thing.
确保我们有充足的电给这个橙色的大家伙 Make sure we have power to the big orange thing!
拉比 我 我真的要和你谈谈 Rabbi, I-I really need to talk to you.
什么事 斯考特 What is it now, Scott?
嗯 就是 Well, it's just that...
我很确定反时间旅行基金会 I'm pretty sure the Foundation Against Time Travel
不应该试图去时间旅行 shouldn't be attempting to time travel!
神父 你清楚我们必须阻止时间旅行 Father, you understand that we have to stop time travel.
是的 关于那个你已经说服我了 Yes, you've convinced me of that.
凯尔已经有大批的追随者 Well, Kyle already has a ton of followers who are
准备步他的后尘了 ready to pick up where he left off.
唯一能阻止这一切的方法是 The only way to truly stop all of this is to go back
回到凯尔传播他的想法前杀了他 in time and kill Kyle before he spreads his ideas.
什么 我们要杀了凯尔 What?! We're going to kill Kyle?
是的 我们必须杀了凯尔 Yes, we have to kill Kyle.
这看起来有点虚伪 对不起 That just seems slightly hypocritical, I'm sorry.
我的意思是 你把巴特斯当做武器 I mean, you use Butters like a weapon,
你已经把特维克和克雷格绑在了椽子上 you've got Tweek and Craig tied up from the rafters.
你知道 拉比 我只是开始 You know, Rabbi, I'm just starting to
质疑这件事的道德性 question the morality of this.
道德性 神父 如果你被给予了 Morality? Father, if you were given
一次回到过去的机会 an opportunity to go back in time
Bill Clinton:前美国总统，与实习生莱文斯基有性丑闻
并且以某种方式阻止比尔·克林顿 你难道不会那么做吗 and somehow stop Bill Clinton, wouldn't you have to do it?
哦 我想我会吧 我不知道 Well, I suppose so. I don't know...
所有人 听好了 Everyone, listen up!
反时间旅行基金会必须竭尽所能 The Foundation Against Time Travel must do everything
阻止科学干扰上帝的旨意 to keep science from interfering with the will of God.
我们必须致力于以暴力对抗暴力 We must be willing to use violence against violence,
并不惜一切阻止时间旅行 and stop time travel at all costs.
即使那意味着我们不得不时间旅行 Even if that means we have to time travel.
我们会回到过去 并且我们会杀了凯尔 We will go back in time. And we will kill Kyle.
- 你说 凯文 - 我们能改下我们的名字吗 - Yes, Kevin. - Can we change our name?
因为反时间旅行基金会的简称是胖子 'Cause Foundation Against Time Travel is FATT.
哦 淦 Oh, fuck me.
我们可以做调解时间旅行基金会吗 Could we be the Foundation to Intercede Time Travel?
因为那样我们就是瘦子了 'Cause then we'd be FITT.
我想做瘦子 不想做胖子 I wanna be FITT, not FATT.
凯文 你他妈的 Kevin, goddamn it.
一切发生得 那么快 All happened... so fast.
没事了 你现在缓过来了 It's okay. You're coming out of it now.
我买了多少 How much did I get?
你买了70多个GIF动画 You bought about six dozen animated gifs,
大部分是电子时尚类的 mostly of digital fashion.
哦 天啊 Oh, God.
它们还在我手机上吗 Are they still on my phone?
没事了 没事了 It's okay. It's okay.
上帝 我感觉好像一个伊斯兰妓女进了男同酒吧 Jesus, I feel like an Islamic hooker in a gay bar.
普通至极 Totally normal and as respectable
并且和其他人一样值得尊敬 as any other human being.
我很抱歉 斯坦 I'm so sorry, Stan.
我们不知道卡特曼反水了 We didn't know Cartman was against us.
我们告诉了他一切 We told him everything.
没关系 试着放松点 It's okay, just try to relax.
不 斯坦 听我说 我们错了 No, Stan, listen to me. We were wrong.
肯尼没有把时光机设置到疫情 Kenny didn't have the time machine set to
最初爆发的时间 when the pandemic first started.
他是试图回到2021年3月10日 He was trying to go to March 10th of 2021.
2021年3月10日 March of 2021?
好像是疫苗刚出来的时候 Like when the vaccines first started coming out?
肯尼进行了模拟以试图找到 Kenny had run the simulations to try and find
历史中最适合阻止新冠的时间 the best moment in history to stop the COVID.
十亿种不同的可能性 A billion different possibilities
跨越十亿种不同的现实 across a billion different realities.
你老爸每一次都艹了穿山甲 Your dad fucked the pangolin every single time.
但那么 为什么肯尼需要我爸的大麻 But then, why did Kenny need my dad's weed?
肯尼只是想用大麻在时间旅行中解闷儿 Kenny just wanted weed to help him through the time travel.
你爸的大麻只是好买罢了 Your dad's weed was just around.
它没什么特别的 There was nothing else special about it.
老爸 Dad...
我对你的正直大麻感到遗憾 I'm sorry about your Tegridy.
我以前希望 I was hoping...
为这个世界做点什么 to do something for the world.
事实是 The truth is...
我的生命很短暂 my time is very short here.
我只是希望我能在那事发生后留下点什么 I just wish I could have left something behind that mattered.
谢谢 Thanks.
我有一件事说对了 I was right about one thing.
你不能回到过去改变过去 You can't go back and change the past.
该发生的总会发生 我只是想让你知道 What happened, happened. And I just want you to know...
我原谅你了 that I forgive you.
你烧了农场是因为你很气愤 You burned down the farm because you were angry.
你不知道你姐姐在谷仓里 You didn't know your sister was in the barn.
你也不知道你母亲会因为悲痛 And you couldn't have known your mom would shoot herself
而自杀 from the grief.
我不怪你 I don't blame you.
我想让你拿着这个 And I want you to have this.
这还有点他们没找到的 There was one tiny bit they didn't find.
你某天会需要它的 You'll need it someday.
老爸 我不想要这个 这毁了我们的家庭 Dad, I don't want this. This is what killed our family.
不 你才是毁了我们该死的家庭的那个 记得吗 No, you're what killed our fucking family, remember?
拿着吧 因为现在我们无路可走了 Just take it. Because now we're stuck.
疫情发生了 他们还制作了《空中大灌篮2》 The pandemic happened and they made Space Jam 2.
不久还会有《空中大灌篮6 7 8》 Soon there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7 and 8.
就像雨中的 眼泪 Like tears... in rain.
老爸 Dad?
别烦我 斯坦 Not now, Stan.
时间旅行启动程序5分钟倒计时 T-minus five minutes to time travel initiation sequence.
很好 把他用锡箔纸包好 Good, get him wrapped in tin foil.
铝应该会反弹负离子 The aluminum should bounce the negative ions.
这没道理啊 This doesn't make any sense.
为什么回去杀凯尔的那个人非得是我 Why do I have to be the one to go back in time and kill Kyle?
因为我很钦佩你 克莱德 It's because I admire you, Clyde.
作为一个反疫苗人士你明白你得非常坚强 As an anti-vaxxer you understand that you have to be strong
并能坚定你的信念即使那意味着会害死其他人 and stand by your beliefs even if it means others will die.
嘿 谢谢夸奖 Hey. Thanks.
把他放到椅子上去 Let's get him to the chair!
好了 释放大麻 Okay, start the weed!
当你回到了过去只要记住 找一把枪 When you get back to the past just remember, find a gun.
杀了凯尔 Kill Kyle.
对你们这些和我并肩战斗 For those of you who have fought with me
反对时间旅行的人 我只想说一声谢谢 to oppose time travel, I just want to say thank you.
因为不久后我们将改变时间 Because soon we will be altering time
并且我们的小组将再也没有存在的必要了 and our little group will never have needed to exist.
你们不会记得这次演讲 因为 You won't remember this speech because it will have
它将从未发生 但只要记住 never happened, but just remember,
无论你们一生中要去哪里 no matter where you go in life...
艹 是凯尔 Shit, it's Kyle!
开始启动程序 Start the initiation sequence!
现在 现在 现在 上 Now, now, now. Go!
维克 Vic...
确保斯坦和凯尔 Make sure that Stan and Kyle
无法靠近圣坛 don't get to this altar.
先生们 我要让你们变得 Gentlemen, I am about to make you rich
超乎想象的富有 beyond your wildest dreams.
Alexa Alexa!
我们想让我们的朋友注册金牌会员 We'd like to sign our friend here up for Prime membership.
- 好的 让我来帮助他吧 - 我也来帮忙 - Okay, let me help with that. - I can also help.
哇 嘿 女士们 让我告诉你们一个好买卖 Whoa... Hey, ladies, lemme tell you about a great deal.
也让我们告诉你些好买卖 Let us tell you abut some great deals.
额 噢 Uh-oh.
凯文 赶紧拉闸 Kevin, throw the fucking switch!
还得等一分钟啊 It needs another minute to prime.
凯文 可恶啊 Kevin, goddamn it!
不 我不会让你阻止我杀你 凯尔 No! I won't let you stop me from killing you, Kyle.
当我第一次看到你穿着犹太服还有戴在头上的 I knew it when I first saw you wearing your Jewish clothes
这顶蠢帽的时候 我就知道了 and your bullshit yarmulke.
- 你就是个大忽悠 - 哦 是吗 - You're a goddamn phony! - Oh, really?
凯尔 你知道真正的犹太人为了拯救家人会做出什么事吗 What would a real Jewish person do to save his family, Kyle?
你不会知道的 因为你他妈的根本没有家人 Oh, you don't know, because you don't fucking have one!
啊 Oh!
- 去死吧你 卡特曼 - 你才去死 凯尔 - Fuck you, Cartman! - Fuck you, Kyle!
有人吗 我什么都看不见 听不见 Hello? I can't see or hear anything!
我现在是不是在时间旅行啊 Am I time traveling now?
埃里克 埃里克 住手 Eric! Eric, stop!
埃里克 你看看你自己在干嘛 Eric, look at what you're doing.
把孩子们带回阁楼上去 Take the kids and get back to the attic.
不 埃里克 看到你为了保护我们的所作所为 No, Eric, I can't just hide away while
我不能就这样视而不见 这不是你 亲爱的 you do all this to protect us. This isn't you, my love.
我不能让他改变过去 我不能失去你 I can't let him change the past. I can't lose you.
谁知道会发生什么呢 亲爱的 Who knows what will happen, my love?
我认识了十八年的埃里克·卡特曼 The Eric Cartman I've known for 18 years
是个体贴温柔的男人 is thoughtful and kind.
但是自从你回到这个小镇 和这个男人 But all that's changed ever since you came
混在一起之后 你完全变了个人 back to this town and hung out with... him.
你还不明白吗 我们就交给 Don't you see? We have to
命运去安排吧 不然我们比他好不到哪去 leave it to chance or we're no better than he is.
大伙们 这过去可真是够烟雾缭绕啊 Guys, if I'm in the past it's pretty foggy!
你们是我的一切 You guys are everything to me.
我保护你们是应该的 And I'm supposed to be your protector.
爸爸 如果要活得像凯尔叔叔那样 Daddy, I don't wanna be alive...
我宁愿去死 if it means I have to be like Uncle Kyle.
哦 天啊 我爱死你了宝贝 Oh, my God. I love you so much.
喂 拉比 我们到底还干不干啊 Well, Rabbi, are we doing this or not?
我相信神会保佑我的家人渡过这一关 I have faith that God will see my family through this.
好吧 凯尔 Okay, Kyle.
你去做你想做的事儿吧 You do whatever it is you need to do.
喂喂喂 不要搞错 我才不要做这的坏人 Okay, hold on, I'm not the bad guy here.
埃里克 看宝宝 Eric, the baby!
哈克姆 你在干嘛 Hackelm, what are you doing?!
吔屎啦你 凯尔叔叔 Fuck you, Uncle Kyle!
克莱德 Clyde!
噢 惨了 Oh, shit.
没有 我去过沃尔格林了 他们店没有疫苗了 No, no, I tried the Walgreens, they're all out of vaccines.
真是不敢相信疫情要结束了 I just can't believe this whole thing is almost over, you know?
哪儿 学校 The where? The school?
学校会有疫苗 There's gonna be vaccines at the school?
好的伐 我马上来 你要去哪儿 M'kay, I'll be right there! Where are you gonna...
搞什么啊你 Whoa, m'kay.
喂 先生 Uh, excuse me!
老爸的枪还在衣橱里吗 Does Dad still keep a gun in his closet?
呃 对啊 Uh, yeah.
很好 Okay.
老爸在家吗 Is Dad home?
呃 不在 Uh, no.
他出去打疫苗了 He's out getting vaccinated.
认真听我讲 Listen to me very carefully.
千万不要打疫苗 Do not get vaccinated ever.
打了疫苗会让你头上长奶子 It'll make you grow titties on your head.
相信我 我可是专家 Trust me, I'm an expert.
嗨 克莱德 我们要搞一个反疫苗俱乐部 Hey, Clyde! We're starting an anti-vaxx club.
我们要抵制疫苗 We're gonna protest the vaccine
让它从此消失 你要不要来 and fuck shit up... you wanna join us?
这他妈还用说吗 当然要 Fuck yes, I wanna join you.
- 真的吗 - 必须真的 - Really? - Fuck yes!
不是的 尼尔森女士 我们不是在整人 No, no, Ms. Nelson, it's not a prank!
好的 好了 我们马上过去 Okay, fine, we'll be there.
- 好的 你好好呆着 - 你这是干嘛 - Okay, just sit tight. - What was that?
你知道我们进不去学校啊 You know we can't get into the school!
她不会过来见我们的 凯尔 She's not gonna come meet us, Kyle!
你根本没说服她 他不这么做 You didn't even try! He didn't try
是为了把疫苗卖钱 because he wants to sell the vaccines for money!
那你呢 凯尔 你早上的时候 And what about you, Kyle? You were the one
还不是想自己把疫苗都拿走 trying to take the vaccines for yourself this morning.
- 他干嘛 - 哇哦 - He what? - Wow.
兄弟 我还以为我们已经翻篇了 Okay, thought we had gotten past that, but...
我们能不能直视一下自己 Look, let's just face it, you guys.
我们就是不信任对方 也不喜欢对方 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other.
我们不要再装了 We can't keep pretending.
伙计们 那是什么玩意儿 You guys, what the hell is that?
对不起 凯尔 I'm sorry, Kyle.
克莱德 住手 Clyde, stop!
你他妈在这里干嘛 What the hell are you doing here?
我紧跟着你上的时光椅 I got in the chair right after you.
计划取消了 不要杀凯尔 This isn't the plan anymore! Do not kill Kyle.
计划取消了是什么意思 What do you mean it's not the plan anymore?
- 卡特曼改变心意了 - 我改变啥心意了 - Cartman changed his mind. - I did not change my mind.
你在忽悠我 我要拯救未来 You're trying to trick me. I'm going to save the future.
我可不这么认为 克莱德 I don't think so, Clyde.
在你脖子上的可是100CC的新冠疫苗 This is a hundred CC's of the COVID vaccine.
- 别 别冲动 - 放下枪 - Don't... Be careful with that. - Then put down the gun!
见鬼了 这是在搞哪一出啊 What the fuck is going on?
斯坦 你要原谅凯尔 Stan, you need to forgive Kyle.
你往后一生都会后悔今天的 You regret this day for the rest of your life.
凯尔 这演员找的不错啊 你这个贱人 Oh, nice try, Kyle. You're such a fuckin' dickhead.
狗屁 我找个屁演员啊 你才贱人 Fuck you! You're a fuckin' dickhead!
凯尔 是真的 Kyle, it's true!
卡特曼家庭美满 Cartman gets a happy life
而你却形单影只 你失去了这段友谊 but you don't... you lose everything
- 就会失去所有 - 你们玩够了没有 - when you lose this friendship. - Enough of this crap!
我认死理了这个孩子现在就得死 I'm sticking to what I believe and this kid dies now!
安息吧 克莱德 Shalom sachem, Clyde.
天啊 Jesus Christ!
蒂米 Timmy!
看来 我们救了凯尔了 Well... I guess we saved Kyle,
但是未来没有改变 but nothing else in the future is changed.
你怎么知道 How do you know?
因为我们还在这儿 Because we're still here.
意味着肯尼还在为我们绝交的事情生气 That means Kenny still was bummed out we weren't friends,
还是成为了科学家 still became a scientist,
回到了过去 而我们也仍在寻找他 went back in time, and we still went in after him.
所以我们被困在过去了 So then we're stuck here in the past.
错过了阻止新冠的机会 And we blew our chance to stop COVID.
对不起 大伙 是我搞砸了 I'm sorry, guys. I really fucked this up.
是我们搞砸了 这是我们以前没遇过的 We all fucked it up. These have just been...
- 前所未有的时代 - 前所未有的时代 - really unprecedented times. - Unprecedented times.
我多想来到前所未有的时代啊 What I wouldn't give for just one precedented time.
对啊 对啊 Hey. Hey, yeah.
也许这就是我们注定要面对的时代 Maybe we just need one precedented time.
啥意思 Huh?
也许一直以来是我们纠正错了 What if we've been trying to solve the wrong problem?
也许我爸说的对 Maybe my dad was right,
我们根本阻止不了新冠发生 we can't ever stop COVID from happening.
但是我们能做的 是我们怎样去面对它 But what we can control... is how we all reacted to it.
而我们是一团糟 因为我害怕又困惑 We reacted like shit. Because I was just...
不知道该相信谁 scared and confused and didn't know who to believe.
是啊 我们都是 Yeah, we all were.
我们产生了嫌隙 分道扬镳 因为我们是人 So we all took different paths because that's what humans do.
而我们现在要做的是减少分歧和内讧 And what we needed more than anything was to
这比什么都重要 just cut each other all some slack.
我们要团结起来 找回当初的自己 We needed to come together and act like us again.
在这个前所未有的时代 One precedented time.
兄弟们 我知道要怎么做了 You guys, I know what to do.
尝尝这个吧 亲爱的特伦斯 Take this, darling Terrance.
你是海瑟·威廉姆斯吗 Heather Williams?
你们是谁 Yes?
你好 我们来自未来 Hi. We're from the future.
我们找你是要给你看一些很重要的东西 We've come here to show you something very important.
你还记得吗 海瑟 Do you remember this, Heather?
这是你在体育课上放屁的照片 This is a picture of you... farting in P.E. class.
我从来没有在体育课上放过屁 I never farted in P.E. class.
喔不 你有 Oh, yes. You did.
有两个小孩甚至闻到了味道问是谁放的 Two kids even smelled it and asked who farted
- 而你沉默不语 - 我没有在体育课上放屁 - and you said nothing. - I didn't fart in P.E. class!
是别的小孩放的 而我刚好动了一下屁股而已 It was a different kid! I was just moving my hip a little bit.
- 海瑟 海瑟 - 我没有在体育课上放屁 - Heather. Heather. - I didn't fart in P.E.
听我说海瑟 你的确放了亲爱的 Heather, yes, you did, sweet pea.
我 我刚好那天肠胃不好 I-I happen to have a stomach condition.
我搞不明白为什么你们要从未来到我家来指控我 I don't know why you came from the future to narc on me!
海瑟 我们不希望你的同学知道你放屁的事情 Heather, we don't want kids to know you farted in P.E.
我们是来帮你的 We wanna help you.
你只需要按照我们跟你说的话去做 You just need to do exactly what we tell you.
嘿 那是什么 Hey, what is that?
斯坦·马什 Stan Marsh?
你叫我 Me?
他们都在等你 Your presence is requested, sir.
酷啊 Whoa, cool.
上来吧 里面有气泡饮料和甜甜圈供应 Get on in, sir. There's sparkling punch and doughnuts.
? 我原谅你 我放过自己 ? ? I forgive you, I forgive me ?
? 等待放飞自己 ? ? Now when do I start to feel again ?
这是干嘛 What's going on?
我们也不知道 We have no idea.
? 我原谅你 我放过自己 ? ? I forgive you, I forgive me ?
? 等待放飞自己 ? ? Now when do I start to feel again... ?
太棒了 This is amazing!
你们看 我们出现在大屏幕上哎 Look, we're on the jumbotron!
? 带着崭新的气息 ? ? With a brand-new attitude... ?
兄弟 我要为我在新冠疫情的糟糕行为向你道歉 You guys, I'm sorry for acting like a dick during the pandemic.
我也向你道歉 兄弟 I'm sorry too, dude.
是谁啊 谁来了 Hello? Who-Who's there?
? 找寻人生的意义 ? ? Trying to figure out how to live ?
? 活出自己 ? ? Doing it our way ?
? 不怨人 不尤己 ? ? No shame, no blame ?
? 过去让它过去 ? ? 'Cause the damage is done ?
? 我原谅你 ? ? And, and I forgive you ?
? 我原谅你 忙着追梦找自己 ? ? I forgive you, we were busy living the dream ?
好东西啊 Oh...
? 天塌下来也不在意 ? ? Never noticed the glass ceiling falling on us ?
? 不怨人 不尤己 ? ? No shame, no blame ?
? 过去让它过去 ? ? 'Cause the damage is done ?
? 我原谅你 ? ? And, and I forgive you ?
? 我原谅你 我放过自己 ? ? I forgive you, I forgive me ?
? 等待放飞自己 ? ? Now when do I start to feel again ?
? 怨恨毫无意义 ? ? If I hate you, what does that do ?
? 倒数我深呼吸 ? ? So I breathe in and I count to ten ?
? 华灯已满天际 ? ? 'Cause the lights are on ?
? 归途我已可期 ? ? And I'm coming home... ?
真是神了 Holy shit balls.
莎伦 我要为我在新冠疫情时的表现跟你说对不起 Sharon, I'm sorry for the way I acted during the pandemic.
你不是在道歉 你只是嗑嗨了 You're not sorry, you're just high.
都有 I'm both.
? 我原谅你 抖去年少的稚气 ? ? I forgive you, we were just a couple of kids... ?
来啊来啊 这是新出的后新冠特推产品 免费赠送啊 Here you go! It's our Post COVID Special. It's free.
真的 这段时间大家辛苦了 No, really, we've all been through a lot.
来来来 拿一罐走 谢谢你 亲爱的 Come on, take it. Thank you, baby.
来啊 大伙们 后新冠特推啊 Come on, everyone. Post COVID Special!
来试试 乡亲们 你值得拥有 Here you go, folks, you all deserve this!
亲爱的 你在新冠的时候表现得真好 You did the best you could during the pandemic, honey.
- 我爱你 - 啥 - I love you! - Huh?
上次你没戴口罩的时候 我不应该对你大吼大叫的 I shouldn't have yelled at you for not wearing a mask.
我只是不理解 I just didn't understand.
呃 我那时候其实也应该勤戴口罩的但是... Well, maybe I should have worn a mask more often but...
不 不 不 是我当时太趾高气扬了 No, no, no, I was being all high and mighty about it...
巴特斯 你不用禁足了 出来吧 儿子 Butters, you're not grounded anymore. Come on out, son.
你说真的 爸爸 You mean it, Dad?!
疫情已经够操蛋的了 The pandemic's been awful.
我们不应该互相伤害 We all need to just cut each other some slack.
我爱你 巴特斯 I love you, Butters!
我原谅你了 I totally forgive you!
放过你自己吧 Oh, cut yourself some slack.
我们得多进点货 We gotta get some more of this stuff.
好的 下一位 Okay, come on, next!
? 活出自己 不怨人 不尤己 ? ? Doing it our way, no shame, no blame ?
? 过去让它过去 ? ? 'Cause the damage is done... ?
那时候我们吼来吼去说 去啊 去啊 And then we were like, "Yeah, okay, yeah,
冲击国会大厦什么的 let's storm the Capitol!"
这是错误的行动 And it was a bad idea and we were just,
我们当时失去了理智 you know, we were just going a little bonkers there.
我们不应该冲击国会 We shouldn't have stormed the Capitol.
洒洒水啦 That's okay!
对不起 我认真考虑过了 I'm sorry. I thought about it
我不能接《空中大灌篮2》这部电影 and I can't do Space Jam 2.
我不能忍受天朝的审查 I just can't support Chinese censorship.
是吗 如果你不接这电影 Oh, yeah? Well, if you're not gonna make Space Jam 2,
那我也不会拍 then I'm not gonna make Space Jam 2!
所有人都不用拍这电影 And nobody's gonna make Space Jam 2!
- 太好了 - 太好了 - Yeah! - Yeah!
太好了 Yeah!
? 我原谅你 ? ? And I forgive you. ?
大家好啊 我回家了 Hey, everybody! I'm home, guy!
- 你好啊 艾克 - 艾克 嗨 - Hey! Ike! - Ike, hi!
艾克 你回来了 Ike, you made it back!
那是当然了 我怎么会错过加拿大节礼日啊 老哥 Well, of course! I wouldn't miss Canadian Boxing Day, buddy!
大家快看 斯坦回来了 Look, everyone, Stan's back!
嘿 斯坦 Hey, Stan!
大家好啊 Hey, guys!
见到你真好 兄弟 在火星过得好吗 Good to see you, buddy! How was everything on Mars?
一切都好 但是什么都比不上家里好 你的孩子呢 Really cool, but I'm so glad to be home! How are the kids?
斯坦叔叔 Uncle Stan!
让我好好看看你们俩淘气蛋 There's the little ragamuffins!
老妈 Mom.
嗨 儿子 Hi, Stanly.
好久不见了 老妈 雪莉 It's Mom! And Shelley!
你干嘛这么别扭啊 屎蛋 Why are you acting all weird, Turd?
我也不知道 I don't know.
也不知道为何看到大伙们 我就异常激动 For some reason I'm just extra happy to see you guys.
嘿 你看谁来了 是肯尼 Hey, look who's here. It's Kenny!
肯尼 Kenny!
肯尼 最近在忙什么 兄弟 Kenny, what have you been up to, buddy?
你没听说吗 肯尼成功将暗物质跟乳房假体合成 Didn't you hear?! Kenny just won the Nobel Prize
刚刚得了诺贝尔奖呢 for combining dark matter and breast implants!
看你这老色鬼干的 Oh, you old dog!
大家快看 他的节目开始了 Hey, everybody, he's on!
今天的观众太给力了 What a fantastic audience. Wow.
最近那些加拿大双性恋者是在搞什么 你们说说 What is up with these bisexual Canadians, huh?
我猜他们给自己整糊涂了 不知道该上的是他们的兄弟 I guess they don't know whether to fuck their brother
还是姐妹 or their sister.
嘿 斯坦 Hey, Stan.
温蒂 你从哈佛回来了 Wendy, you're back from Harvard.
对啊 放假就回来了 Yeah, just here for the holidays.
你想不想要 新年的时候再来约个会 You wanna maybe... spend New Years together again?
乐意至极 I'd love that.
嘿 伙计们 来尝尝肉丸吧 Hey, fellas! Can I offer you some pupus?!
感谢你们选择丹尼苹果蜂餐厅来举办派对 Thanks for choosin' Denny's Applebee's for your party.
巴特斯 你还在这里工作啊 Butters, you're still working here, huh?
对啊 我现在是经理了 Yup! I just made manager.
我喜欢有劳动就有实钱的工作 I love doing actual shit that pays actual money.
喂 斯坦 你能过来一下吗 Hey, Stan, can you come here for a second?
怎么了 兄弟 What's the matter, dude?
兄弟 他在这儿 Dude, he's here.
卡特曼吗 Cartman?
唉 可怜的卡特曼 Man, poor Cartman.
我操你妈 我操你全家 Fuck you guys! You can suck my fucking dick!
操你 Fuck you!
他的人生一无所有 真是凄惨 It's so sad he never did anything with his life.
我操你 凯尔 我操你 斯坦 Fuck you, Kyle! Fuck you, Stan!
别看了 兄弟们 Hey, come on, fellas.
我们不要浪费美好的节日 去为卡特曼感到难过 We can't spend another holiday feeling bad for Eric.
他的人生已经注定了 无法改变 There's nothing that could have changed the path he was on.
我操你啊 巴特斯 Fuck you, Butters!
操你 埃里克 Fuck you, Eric!
大伙们 我想在这儿说几句 Well, everyone, I just wanna make a toast.
我不知道 I don't know...
是什么让我们挺过了疫情 what got us through the pandemic
让我们的未来如此美好 但不管是什么 and made all our futures so very bright, but whatever it was...
愿我们剩下的日子都能幸福美满 may we have it for the rest of our days.
愿主保佑我们大家 God bless us, everyone.
干杯 Cheers!
请记住 乡亲们 Remember, folks,
一般大麻不能解决你所有问题 weed can't solve all your problems.
但是正直大麻可以 But Tegridy can.
正直大麻 Tegridy Weed.
翻译：迟早 不存在的宰伞 小铭 Joe
校对：小铭 后期：小铭 上传：小铭