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上豚 犰狳 Aardvark. Armadillo.
蚂蚁 食蚁兽 Ant. Anteater.
现在我在学区做研究员 Now that I'm doing my fellowship at the district,
我不在的时候会 there's a rotation of substitutes
有几个代课老师轮流教我的课 who are teaching my class while I'm gone.
每次我回阿伯特 I like to pop by and see how they're doing
我都会顺道去看看他们教得怎么样 whenever I happen to be at Abbott.
只是简单简单的看一眼 Just some quick, light- touch check- ins,
以示支持 you know, just to show support.
他们甚至不知道我来了 They hardly even know I'm here.
羊驼 鳄鱼 Jessca: Alpaca. Alligator.
我是一个小茶壶 又矮又胖 Kids: JI'm a little teapot, short and stoutJ
我的孩子们太无聊了 他们都在跳 My kids are so bored, they're moshing to
《我是小茶壶》了 我们什么时候能回去 I'm a Little Teapot°When can we go back in?
当我沸腾时 听我呼喊 ♪When I get all steamed up, hear me shout ♪
把我翻过来把我倒出来 ♪ Tip me over and pour me out ♪
你在啧什么 啧啧提格斯 And what you tsk'ing at, Tsk'in' Teagues?
就是 嗯 你看 看这个 Ugh, just- I mean, look- look at this.
我的孩了们在闹逛 你懂我的意思吗 My kids are just meandering. You know what I mean?
你看 她甚至都不用伙伴制度 我 You know, she's not even using the buddy system. I- Mm
警报为什么响了啊 What even set off the alarm?
别看我 Don't look at me.
我只会在教堂和家里点亮蜡烛 Church or home are the only places my candles are lit.
不过阿伯特小学倒是没被点着 What's not lit is another call from Abbott.
至少这次不是真的着火了 At least it's not a full fire this time.
嗯 只是一些烟雾 Mm. Just some smoke.
好像有人在男生厕所里 Seems like someone lit a cigarette
点了根烟 什么 in one of the boys'bathrooms. What?
香烟 什么 Cigarette? What?
说真的 这年头谁还抽烟啊 Seriously, who still smokes cigarettes? σ
单身爸爸 罪犯 Single dads, criminals.
还有莫顿 他在哪里 Morton. Where is he?
可能是在垃圾箱后面的小巷里抽烟 Probably lightin up in a back alley behind a Dumpster.
人渣 Scumbag
我们抓到他了 梅丽莎把他嗅了出来 We got him. Melissa sniffed him out.
噢 没错 虽然你有薄荷糖 你可以逃 但是逃不掉 Oh, yeah. You got menthols, you can run, but you can't hide.
只要再吸一口 我就又回到了14岁 One whiff, and I am 14 again
我打算等上几年 thinkin'I'm gonna wait a couple years
再试试 before I try one of these.
那你就重回16岁了 That would only make you 16.
那味道总是让我想起我的叔叔 Smell always reminds me of my uncle.
我姑姑以前会坐在椅子上抽着烟 Oh, my aunt used to sit in a chair with a cig
喝着灰皮诺葡萄酒给我讲《蓝色月光侦探社》 and a glass of Pinot Grig and recount "Moonlighting" to me.
是啊 我叔叔以前也这么干过 Yeah, my uncle used to do the same thing,
只不过是喝苏格兰威士忌讲前一晚的费城人队的比赛 except it was scotch and the Phillies game the night before.
-童年啊 -童年啊 Childhood. Childhood.
话说回来 但这确实是个问题 Nah, but this is a real problem. Gregory: Mm- hmm.
对 哦 当然 Janine: Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely
你从哪弄来的烟 Where did you even get a cigarette?
就是 你是法国小孩吗 Yeah, what you, a French child?
街角那人一美元卖给我的 The guy around the corner sold it to me for a dollar.
一美元啊 通货膨胀膨得有点厉害啊 A dollar? Inflation is crazy.
但是你麻烦大了 因为这里禁止吸烟 But you are in big trouble, because cigarettes are banned.
我看牌子上都没写啊 Not on any of the signs I saw.
什么 What?
学校网站上写着 禁止滑滑板 On the school's website, we got "no skateboarding,
禁止吸电子烟 禁止闲逛 禁止胡闹 禁止携带武器 no vaping, no loitering, no horseplay, no weapons,
禁止明火 禁止欺凌 禁止赌博 no open flames, no bullying, and no gambling. "
最后一项只针对学生 对吧 That last one's just for students, though, right?
里面没写香烟啥的 There's nothing here about cigarettes.
你们有找到什么吗 Did y'all find anything?
我在走廊上看到一个写着 禁止 Uh, well, I saw a sign in the hallway that said"no, "
但是禁止的内容被涂鸦盖掉了 but whatever was under it was graffitied over.
噢 那个原来写的禁止涂鸦 Yeah, that was a"no graffiti° sign.
这封开学邮件列出了所有的注意事顶 The e- mail from the top of the year lists everything －
我是说所有的注意事项 包括把活蜘蛛带到学校 and I mean everything including bringing a live spider
可能会给予开除处罚 to school is grounds for expulsion,
但是完全没有写禁止吸烟 but it definitely doesn't list cigarettes.
指尖陀螺都禁止了 Fidget spinners － banned.
我们所有标识里似乎都没有禁止香烟 Cigarettes just seem to have evaded every sign we've seen.
等等 所以是因为要禁止的东西太多 Wait. So many new hazards have come out
我们忘记禁止香烟了吗 that we forgot to put cigarettes on the ban list?
哎呀 我没有什么有用的话要说 Gee willikers, I have nothing helpful to say,
所以我想我只能重申我们都意识到的问题了 so I guess I'll just restate the problem that we're all aware of.
-那就是你 -对 我知道了 That's you. Yeah, I got it.
宝子们 让我们先完成这些练习题 Besties! Let's finish up those worksheets
然后继续学习形容词吧 so we can move on to adjectives.
杰丝卡 州名需要大写吗 Jessca, do I need to capitalize the names of the states?
人类唯一需要的是水 食物 住所和音乐 The only human needs are water, food, shelter, and music.
但现在不用担心这此 But don't worry about that right now.
把注意力集中在完成你的练习题上 Just focus on getting your worksheets done.
我很抱歉 Ooh. I'm sorry.
确实需要大写州名 You actually do need to capitalize the names of states,
因为专有名词需要大写 because that's the correct thing to do for proper nouns.
对吧 你也不想养成坏习惯吧 Right? Don't want to build bad habits.
-嗨 我是珍妮 -杰丝卡 Hi. I'm Janine. Jessca.
很高兴认识你 杰西卡 Oh, it's nice to meet you, Jessica.
杰丝卡 不是西 杰斯 卡 Jessca. There'sno"I"Jess...Ca.
你是谁来着 Who are you again?
哦 对不起 Oh, sorry.
我是提格斯老师 这是我的教室 I'm Miss Teagues. This is my classroom.
哦 你回来了啊 Oh! You're back.
朋友们 看来我在这里的日子到头了 Friends, looks like I'm at the end of my time here.
哦 不 不 不 不 我只是过来跟他们打个招呼 Oh, no, no, no, no. I was just popping in to say hi to them.
没错 大家跟珍妮打个招呼吧 That's it Everyone say hi to Janinel
嗨 珍妮 AlI: Hi, Janine!
哦不 小朋友们 是提格斯老师 Oh. Uh, no, guys, it's Miss Teagues,
大写T因为这是个专有名词 with a capital "T" because it's a proper noun.
我们为什么要抛弃 Is there a reason why we're abandoning
-语法规则 -哦 这才第一次练习题 all the rules of grammar? Oh, in the first worksheet,
我希望孩子们尽可能自由地书写 I like for the kids to write as freely as possible.
我们稍后再 Mm. And, uh, we'll tackle
讨论大写的问题 capitalization later.
非常感谢你能过来看看我们 Thank you so much for stopping by.
-再见 珍妮 -你看 他刚才 Bye, Janine. Oh, see, it's the way
说这话的方式正是我想要改 he said that just now is what I'm trying Mm hmm.
好吧 让我们回到正题 Alright. Let's get back to it.
怎么没禁止香烟呢 How could cigarettes not be banned?
某人真的犯了个大错 Yeah, somebody really missed the mark on that one.
我知道我今天身材不好 但别看我 I know my fit is going off today, but don't look at me.
我怪 珍妮 I blame Janine.
你跑到学区里来干什么 What are y'all even doing down there at the district?
来乱翻文件吗 还是来拍抖音舞的 Shuffling papers? Doing the Jubi Slide?
- 孩子们都开始抽烟了 -什么抖音舞 The children are smoking. What's the Jubi Slide?
哦 就是你把一只脚放在地上 Oh, it's when you put one foot down,
然后朝相反的方向移动 and you kind of move in the opposite direction
我不想生活在一个白人 I do not want to live in a world
向我解释舞蹈动作的世界里 where white people explain dance moves to me.
我就是不明白 You know, I just don't get it.
我还以为真相活动过后 You know, I thought we beat cigarettes
大家就都不抽烟了 with the Truth Campaign.
抽烟也太复古了 It's just so retro.
好吧 可能又变回潮流了 Well, maybe they're getting cool again.
木底鞋都能回归 还有什么不可能的 I mean, clogs are back. Anything's possible.
嗯 对啊 但是有的木底鞋还挺好看的 Yes. Well, yes, but there are some cool clogs.
我真不敢相信孩子们在抽豚草 I just can't believe that children are smoking ragweed.
就是 难道他们不知道吸烟有害健康吗 I know. Don't they know that smoking kills?
雅各布 你自己都在电子烟 Mm. Jacob, you literally vape.
好吧 这是不一样的 Okay, that's different That
是的 电子烟更糟糕 因为你可以在任何地方抽 Yes, in that it's worse because you can vape anywhere.
你看《萨特本》的时候一直在吸电子烟 You vaped all through "Saltburn. "
你吸入了成千上万的毒素 哕 You're inhaling thousands of toxins. Yuck.
嗯 那 珍妮每天都抽大麻呢 Yeah, well...Janine smokes weed every day.
不是吧 No.
好家伙 你个爆炸头 Damn, Afroman.
不是 不是每天 Nope. Not every day.
是每晚 Every night.
珍妮 Janine.
草 叶子 Reefer. Ganja.
恶魔的生菜 The Devil's Lettuce.
所以你的脚才这么大是吧 That's why your feet so big.
这是药用的 也是为了大家着想 I- It's medicinal, and... and it's considerate.
如果我不抽 我就是个讨人厌的劲量兔 If I didn't smoke, I'd be an insufferable Energizer Bunny.
真是没想到 珍妮居然已经是小声说话了 What a twist. Janine is quietly off that loud.
艾娃 你没资格说话 好吗 你就是个水烟脑袋 Ava, you can't talk, okay? You a hookah head
确实 但是我用的量少 Mm- hmm. Facts. And microdosing.
我就盯着水烟筒看一会儿 然后就说 好 够了 I just eyeball it and say, "Yeah, that's enough. "
员然我不抽烟 Now, I don't smoke,
但我喜欢在周末吃蛋白大麻棒 but I do enjoy a protein- bar edible on the weekends.
你知道 研究实际上表明 You know, research actually shows …
这人能让吸毒都变无聊 Wow. This man just made drugs boring.
我建议你们都放下恶习 I suggest that you all drop your vices
来吸一口我的好药 and take a hit of my drug of choice －
耶稣 J- E- S- U- S.
街名 我主 Street name, Christ.
大家都知道 Uh, you've been known
你喜欢大喝特喝小瓶夏敦埃洒 to demolish those little bottles of Chardonnay.
而且你吸液休大麻 And you snort that liquid marijuana.
不是吸 那是大麻二酚油 You don t snort it It is CBD oil,
我用来涂关节的 and Irub it on my joints.
这是上瘾第一步药膏 It's a gateway ointment.
你们的肺都成灰了吧 Your lungs are dust.
一群瘾君了 说到关节（大麻烟） Crackheads. Speaking of joints,
你们有没有试过加上 you ever submerge yourself in the essence of-
好了好了 嘘 别说了 Oh, duh- duh- duh- duh, shh. Don't finish that sentence.
乳香和迷迭香 Frankincense and rosemary.
我抽烟丝混大麻的时候就爱这口 I bathe in it while I hit a blunt.
抓到了 好了 我 Gotcha. Okay. I...
抓到了 很高兴我们找到了你 Gotcha. Whew, so glad we found you.
你刚刚可能听到了也可能没听到了 Um, you may or may not have heard some chatting earlier,
可能是老师们讨论的一些 that may or may not have been by the teachers,
关于一些你们可能懂 about, you know, some topics
也可能不太懂 且无法解析的话题 that you may or may not know enough about to parse.
-什么 -宝贝 你在教师休息室听到了什么 What? Baby, what'd you hear up in the lounge?
老师们都是瘾君子 That the teachers are all dope fiends.
好了 这是成年人之间的对话 Okay, now, that was an adult conversation between adults.
-并且也没有发生过 -我们开玩笑的 That also didn't happen. We were just joking.
那为什么没有人笑 Why didn't anybody laugh?
因为珍妮一点都不幽默 Cause Janine isn't funny.
好吧 听着 我跟你说实话 Okay, listen, I'm gonna level with you,
因为我知道你是个聪明的孩子 cause I know you're a smart kid- -
我是 至少老师是这么跟我说的 I am. Or at least that's what my teachers say.
但也许他们不是真心的 因为他们抽嗨了 But maybe they didn't mean it. Since they were high.
好吧 我觉得重点是 Okay, alright, I think the point
你无意中听到了我们的谈话 is that you overheard our conversation,
并且不是说给你听的 which wasn't meant for you,
所以也许你应该把它忘在这里 so maybe it should just stay right here.
如果能让你们感觉好点 If it makes y'all feel better,
-我人可以留在这里 -好的 it can stay here physically. Okay.
但是 在数字领域 But, digitally, it's up on every platform
我已经全平台都发了 I posted it everywhere immediately.
瑞思拜 Respect.
抓到了 Gotcha.
尘暴区 得名于 So, the Dust Bowl, named after- -
你抽电子烟的时候午里 Is that what the inside of your car looks like
就是这个样子吗 c老师 when you're vaping, Mr. C. ?
听着 有件事我想说清楚 Look, I- I want to make something very clear.
任何人都不应该谈论毒品 也不应该吸毒 好吗 No one should be talking about, or doing, any drugs, okay?
除了老师们 对吧 Except for the teachers, huh?
这个人是个伪君子 This man is a hypocrite.
你被人抽了 C老师 Oh, you just got smoked, Mr. C.
但我敢说你喜欢 But I bet you like that.
-嗨 -你肯定嗨着呢 Hmph. Bet you are.
词族 Word Families.
-宠物 -宠物 Pet. Kids: Pet.
霍华德老师 Mm. Mrs. Howard,
你杯子里是灰皮诺葡萄酒吗 is that Pinot Grigio?
现在情况已经完全失控了 This thing has gotten totally out of control.
-你们都是瘾君子 我受够了 -我们该怎么跟他们说 You're all drug addicts, and I'm tired of it. What do we even say to them?
我们不能让学生们看不起我们 We can t just have our kids undermining us.
好吧 但我们需要怎么告诉他们不要抽烟和吸毒 Okay, but how do we tell them not to smoke or do drugs,
因为首先 他们已经知道我们抽烟和吸毒 when, one, they know that we do them, and, two,
其次 我们除了跟他们说“坚决说不”之外还能说什么 we can't say anything to them except for"Just say no"?
好吧 珍妮 你现在在学区学习 Okay, well, Janine, you're at the school district.
我们该怎么办 What's our move?
我们还有一个资源可以利用 We do have one more resource at our disposal.
我想是时候请专业人士来了 I think it's time to call in a professional.
坐这一排 Gregory: Take a seat in this row,
但记得把这个座位留给我 好吗 but leave this seat for me, okay?
禁毒教育的人来得很快啊 Well, F. A. D. E. got here quickly.
-对 我就是叫了个人来帮忙 -干得不错 Yeah, just had to call in a favor. Nice work
然后当他们发现是 And then I had to call in another favor
我把塔里克弄过去的时候我又只能找别人帮忙 when they found out I was the one who sent them Tariq.
我跟他们说 我怎么知道 To which I said, "How was I supposed to know
他会是个累赘 他们说 he'd be a liability? ”To which they said,
他之前不是你的男朋友吗 我就说 "Wasn't he your boyfriend? "To which I said,
好吧 爱管闹事 不过说得好 "Okay, nosy, good point.
我想用掉我剩下的所有人情 I'd like to use all other remaining favors.
-你到底帮不帮我 -听起来塔里克 Can you help me or not? Well, it sounds like
和禁毒教育组是和平分手的 the Tariq and F. A. D. E. split was amicable, then.
他们说是诉讼分手 塔里克赢不了 They said it's litigious and Tariq is not winning.
太好了 看看这个 Great. Look at this.
为什么他们没有排成一列 Why aren't they in single file,
为什么他们手牵着手 真是 细菌接触警报 and why are they holding hands? It's like, germ alert.
也许是为了确保没人掉队 Maybe it's to make sure no one gets left behind.
好吧 那你知道 Okay, well, did you know
她让别人直呼她的大名吗 that she has them call her by hei first name?
他们是你的学生 不是你的朋友 These are your students, not your buddies.
此外 我还无意中听到她说 Also, I overheard her saying,
你们可以随意使用逗号 "You can use commas whenever you feel like. "
-我只是觉得 -珍妮 And I just feel like... Janine,
你昨晚抽叶子了吗 因为我看你现在情绪高涨 did you smoke last night? Cause it don't seem like you did.
我只是不认为这是管理课堂的最佳方式 I just don't think it's the best way to run a classroom.
她就在那边 如果你想 Well, she's right over there if you want to have
跟她好好聊聊的话 an actual conversation with her.
阿伯特小学 2023呀呼 Abbott Elementary two- thousand- and- twenty- three- ee- ee!
现在是2024年了 It's 2024.
2 0 2 4年 Two- thousand- and- twenty- fou- ou- r!
我得快速白我介绍一下 Gotta introduce myself right quick.
我妈妈给我起名叫蒂莫西 My mama named me Timothy.
我叫自己斯利莫西 I call myself Slimothy.
但你们可以叫我斯利莫 好吗 But you can call me Slim. You feel me?
欢迎参加禁毒教育 Welcome to the F. A. D. E. Experience.
我们门开始吧 Let's do this!
喝掉能量 Drink up the energyl
喝掉能量 喝掉能量 Drink up the energy, drink up the energy!
清醒的头脑 Sober minded.
噢不 这是份挺棒的工作 就像 这是命运一样 4NSl"Kv Aw, yeah, no, it's a great gig. Like, it was fate.
搭里克可是真正的文艺复兴 RENDS Anfd your Tariq was a renaissance, for real.
绝对是我的灵感来源 Definitely my inspiration.
因为我只是研究了他在做什么 Cause I just be studyin' what he be doin'
然后加入我自己的元素 and puttin'my own spin on it.
别人 嘘 他们可喜欢 And the people, shh, they like it
那么 我的小甜心们在想什么呢 So, what's poppin' to all my little sweeties.
吸烟会让你得糖尿病 Smokin' cigs'll give you diabetes.
我承认吸烟会让你看起来很酷 Now, I admit that it make you look cool.
但它会让你的口气闻起来像屎 But it make your breath smell like stool.
就是便便的意思 And that's poop.
我一踏进卡座就把分数记上了 Slim: I run up the score when I step in the booth.
粉吸太多会掉牙的 You do too much dip, you might lose a tooth.
我感觉自己很狂妄 举止很粗鲁 I'm feelin'so swaggy and actin'uncouth.
癌症就更不用说了 Please don't get me started on cancer.
如果你认为抽烟能解决问题 我会疯掉的 I'mma lose it if you think smokin' the answer!
拿出来 灭掉 Get that out. Put it out.
总之 我认为孩子不应该吸烟 In conclusion, I don't think children should smoke.
-没错 -对的 That's right. Yes.
你们现在岌岌可危 Yeah, y'all warm as hell now!
费城致命的过量用药人数在上升 Fatal overdoses in Philly are on the rise!
你们都有责任通过自己的决定来阻止这一切 And you all are responsible for stopping it via your decisions.
跟我一起说 Say it wit' me.
决定 AlI: Decisions.
好了 现在我要请出最厉害的 Alright, now Im about to bring out da dopest
世界上 the tightest
最严格的禁毒教育协会 certified F. A. D. E. representative
认证代表 in the wo- o- rld!
卡 洛 琳 Carol- i- i- i- ne!
认真听 这样你们才不会死 Pay attention so you don't die.
认真听 Pay attention
这样你们才不会死 so you don't die.
你好 年轻的 有色人种青年 Hello, young...youth of color.
我是卡洛琳 I'm Caroline.
看看你们的左边 Look to your left.
现在看看你的右边 Now look to your right.
现在想象一切都是模糊的 Now imagine it's blurry.
这就是嗑药的感觉 That's what it's like to be under the influence.
杰丝卡 最近怎么样 Hey, Jessca, how's it going?
棒极了 我刚告诉孩子们 It's fantastic. I was just telling the kids
他们可以选择自己的家庭作业 they can choose their own homework assignments.
-原来如此 -嗯 I see. Yeah.
我发现自己选让他们对家庭作业感到非常兴奋 I find that choice gets them really excited about homework.
-你值得拥有美好的生活 -嘿 那么 首先 Caroline: You are worthy of a good life. Hey, so, um, first of all,
我想谢谢你帮我代班 I just wanted to say thank you for subbing.
唯一比教书更难的工作就是代课了 The only job harder than teaching is substitute teaching
我不知道 你看过《冰路卡车司机》吗 I don't know. Have you ever seen"Ice Road Truckers"?
那履下的薄冰 那巨大的卡车 That ice thin. That truck big.
对 说得好 Yeah, good point.
很棒的节目 Mm- hmm. Great show.
其次 你知道 Uh, second, you know,
我曾经教过三年这门课 I used to teach this class for three years,
所以我对孩子们和这个年级的水平 and so I have a deep, you know, rich understanding
有很深的了解 of the kids and this grade level,
所以如黑你需要什么建议的话 可以问我 so, you know, if you ever need any tips.
谢谢 不过我没啥需要的 Thanks! But everything's fine.
嗯 但我也有一些通用的教学方法 Right but there are some universal teaching practices,
毕竟你缺乏经验 and because of your lack of experience,
你可能只需要一点温柔的指导 you might just need a little gentle guidance.
不好意思 珍妮 我在听讲呢 Excuse me, Janine, I'm trying to listen.
谢谢 Thank you. Mm hmm.
如果我需要帮助 我会找你的 If I need help, I will ask.
好吧 Okay.
但是我不需要 所以我不会找你的 But I don't, so I won't.
所以 总而言之 So, in conclusion,
要对毒品 香烟和酒精说不 say no to drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol.
记往 我们说 Remember, F. A. D. E. says,
如果这让你感觉到晕乎 if it makes you faded,
那就别 别碰 walk away from i- it.
我知道这话并不押韵 I know that doesn't exactly rhyme,
但最重要的是这话传达的信息 but it's the message that counts.
好的 我们继续这个有趣的话题 A- Alright, we're gonna keep this fun bus moving along
直接进入问答环节 and jump right into a Q&A.
当我在医院工作的妈妈下班时 When my mom gets off her shift at the hospital,
她会抽根烟 这个可以吗 she has a cigarette. Is that okay?
除非她自己也想成为那里的病人 Only if she wants to wind up being a patient there herself.
那葡萄酒呢 What about wine?
我爸爸有时会在晚餐时喝一杯 My dad drinks a glass at dinner sometimes.
你知道什么东西最百搭吗 You know what pairs well with everything?
戒洒 Sobriety.
我姑姑吃了医生为她青光眼开的大麻 My aunt takes edibles the doctor prescribed for her glaucoma.
我想如果是出于医疗原因 I guess that would be an exception
那算是例外 if it is for medical reasons.
你是说有些成瘾物质相比其他更好一点吗 So, you're saying some drugs are better than others?
说不上更好 I would not say better.
但有些肯定比其他的吏糟糕 But some are definitely worse than others.
那什么是最不糟糕的 Well, then, what's the least bad drug?
所有的成瘾物质很糟糕 All substances are bad.
但如果必须选一个 But if you had to pick one...
我想是香烟吧 Cigarettes, I guess.
不 别这样 No! No!
所以我一定要选一种物质来成瘾的话 So if I had to pick one thing to do if my life depended on it,
我应该选香烟吗 it should be cigarettes?
不是 也许选大麻吧 No! Maybe weed?
-好家伙 -这都啥啊 Hoo, buddy. The hell?
赶紧结束吧我说 Let's end this guys.
-据CNN报道 -嗯 那上边儿都是假新闻 According to CNN...Uh, fake news.
你说这个我就不困了 Okay, now you got my attention.
在禁洒令期间 喝酒是违法的 alcohol was illegal during the Prohibition era,
而现在大麻也开始再次兴起了 and we're seeing the same renaissance now with marijuana.
你知道哪里没有大麻问题吗 You know where they don't have a marijuana problem?
第三世界国家 The Third World,
那里的孩子不能自由使用谷歌 where kids can't just Google whatever they want,
因为他们在忙着制造手机 because they're busy making the phones.
-好了 好了 -听起来 Okay, alright It just seems like
大部分药物也没那么可怕 most drugs aren't that bad.
好嘛 偶尔抽烟没问题的 就是别碰阿片类药物 Fine, you can smoke a little! Just don't do opioids!
我爷爷就在吃阿片类药物 My grandfather's on opioids.
医生开的药没问题 Drugs from a doctor are okay.
我妈在吃万乃洛韦 My mom's on Valtrex.
这个没事 你妈得了疱疹 That's fine. Your mom has herpes.
-喂 -哇哦 Hey! Wow.
这位女士 你嗑嗨了吗 Lady, are you high?
芜湖 好嘞 Whoo! Alright!
我说这个你们说好 When I say"this, "you say, "went well. "
-这个 -好 This. Went well.
好嘞 各位再会 Hey, okay. Ah, peace.
阿伯特小学全体注意 Ava: Attention, Abbott Elementarians 一
根据学区规定 我们现将 Due to the district mandate, we will now be performing
对储物柜 书包及杂物柜进行强制搜查 mandatory locker, bag, and cubby searches.
此外 In addition to searches,
我们将加大零容忍政策的力度 we are also reinforcing the zero- tolerance policy.
任何被发现持有成瘾物质的人都将强制停课两天 Any substance found will end in a mandatory two- day suspension.
-好 -只要谈及违规物质 Okay Any discussion of illicit substances
都将受到纪律处分 will result in disciplinary action.
以上规定适用于学生及老师 This applies to students and teachers.
要像警察一样发表 It's bad enough
声明已经够惨了 I got to make announcements sounding like a cop.
现在我还得当法官 处分大家 Now I got to be a judge and hand out a sentence.
根据这份规则 我得让柯蒂斯停课 According to this, I got to suspend Curtis.
只能这样咯 Well, that's how it goes.
把成瘾物质带入学校 就得被停课 You bring a substance in, you get suspended.
这有点过芬了吧 直接停课 This seems like overkill, to do all this
都没有和柯蒂斯坦诚地聊聊 without even having an honest conversation with Curtis
也没和其他学生聊聊 or any of our students.
这就是规则 Well, that's the system for ya.
除了“成瘾物质是不好的” 其他什么都不能说 We're not allowed to say anything except"drugs are bad. "
这一切好荒唐 柯蒂斯是个好孩子 It just all seems ridiculous. Okay Curtis is a great kid.
他成绩都拿A的 也很听话 He's an"A”student. He doesn't bother anyone.
抽烟真不像他的作风 It's kind of uncharacteristic that he smokes
抽烟还是抽过烟 Smokes or smoked?
我们知道他以前抽过烟吗 Do we even know if he's done this before?
情况太失控了 We let this thing get so out of control;
我们都忘了问这男孩到底是怎么回事 we forgot to ask the boy what happened.
所以我得让他停课了 So I guess Igot to suspend him?
别急 好吧 我去找他聊聊 Hold on, okay? Let me talk to him.
我和他相处得比较久 He's been spending a lot of time in my classroom,
我想他愿意和我说实话的 and Ithink he's comfortable with me.
我和你一起去 我小时候也抽烟 I'll go with you. As a former child smoker,
或许能咳出点建议 I can probably cough up some advice.
看吧 不好笑 See? It's not funny.
确保类似事情不再发生 Janine: ...steps to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen anymore.
感觉像 Feel like some direction
学区给的指示 Uh, some direction from the school district
你没事吧 珍妮 Everything okay? Cause, Janine,
我知道别人挥手的时候 你最喜欢挥回去了 I know you love to return a wave.
没事 我喜欢那个代课老师 Yeah, everything's fine. I love the sub.
她的教学方式 上课方法 And her methods, and her ways.
-我一点也不担心 -说吧 Yeah, I have no concerns. Spill the peas.
她和我的教学方法不一样 好吧 She's just doing things differently than I would, okay?
我就说这么多 And that's all I'll say.
她的语法都是乱教的 She is teaching grammar out of order,
乱七八糟 还有其他事情 这 and it is chaos, and other things, too. It's- -
要是我和你说 Would you believe it if I told you
你刚来的时候 我觉得你的某些教学方法 that when you first started, I found that some of your ways
也有点不正统 你相信吗 of teaching were a bit unorthodox?
不 因为这种说法 Uh, no, because that belief interferes
和我对现实的认知并不相符 所以 with my perception of reality, so...
珍妮 每个老师都有自己的风格 Janine, every teacher has their own style.
你和梅丽莎的做事方式不一样 You do things differently than Melissa.
梅丽莎和我的做事方式也不一样 Melissa does things differently than me.
我知道 但这是我的班啊 I know, but it's my class.
以前是你的班 It was your class.
现在不是 It"s not your class right now.
-好吧 -好吧 Okay. Okay.
但你知道吗 她把名字里的I拿掉了 But did you know that she took the"I" out of her name
管自己叫杰丝卡 and just goes by Jessca?
这真是太蠢了 Now, that is foolishness.
现在的年轻人啊 Mm- hmm. These kids nowadays,
-啥都做得出来 -可不嘛 they're just gonna do anything. I know.
各位学生好 别再叫我芭芭拉老师了 "Hello, students. My name is no longer Miss Barbara.
叫我布哈哈啦老师 It's Miss Br- ha- ha- ra. "
对 对 真的荒谬 Yeah, yeah. It's absurd.
我要有麻烦了吗 我真的很抱歉 Am I in trouble? Because I really am sorry.
不不 我们就是想和你聊聊 亲爱的 No, no, we just wanted to talk, hon.
还记得我们问你你的散售烟是哪来的吗 So, remember when we asked you where you got the loosie?
我们也想知道 你为什么会去买这个 Well, we also want to know why you got it.
我也不知道 就是好奇吧 I don't know. Just curious, I guess.
孩子有好奇心是很正常的 Curiosity is part of being a kid.
我小的时候 我 Okay, when I was younger, I, uh...
那个 那什么 你一辈子会遇到 Uh, l- look, you're gonna be presented
很多事情 有好的也有不好的 with a lot of things in life, both good and bad,
我们就是想确保你能小心对待这些事情 and we just want to make sure that you're being careful.
我都没想着再买了 I wasn't even gonna do it again.
这就很棒 我用了几十年才明白这个道理 See, that's great. It took me decades to learn that.
很恶心 It was nasty.
对 就是很恶心 别忘了那个味道 Yeah, it is nasty, so don't forget that taste.
是因为我犯错你们才请了禁毒教育的人来吗 Was F. A. D. E. my fault?
不 不 亲爱的 No, no, sweetie.
那个半吊子禁毒教育协会能存在 是政府的错误 F. A. D. E is the government's fault.
非常抱歉 I really am sorry.
我们知道 回去上课吧 Yeah, we know you are. Why don't you head on back to class?
要是能更诚实地和他们说就好了 I hate that we can't be more honest with them.
我也觉得 这孩子不应该被停课 Me, too. That kid should not be suspended. Ugh.
也许他不用被停课呢 Maybe he doesn t have to be.
-嘿 -开始感受吧 Hey. Now it's vibe time.
嘿 杰丝卡 Hey, Jessca.
我就是想和你道歉 So, I just wanted to apologize.
你在这里的时候 Um, while you're here,
这些孩子是你班上的学生 不是我的 these kids are your class, not mine,
我不应该把我那试过好用的 and I should not have tried to force
方法强加在 my albeit tried- and true methods onto u
好 别说了 "K, so let me stop you right there,
因为其实 我也就来代课一个星期 because actually, I'm only signed up to be here this week.
之后我不会再回来了 And I won't be returning,
因为这周的体验真的很不怎么样 because this week has been exceptionally mid.
这样哦 我还以为你会 Oh! So- Mm. I thought you would, uh...
我也不知道 我还以为你教得挺开心呢 I don't know. I just thought you were having a good time,
所以我才来找你 为我之前的行为 so that's why I wanted to come and, you know, say sorry
说声抱歉 因为我不太 for the way I'd been acting, because it wasn't, you know
你说得好像我们俩有过什么我应该 Yeah, you're talking as if there was some sort of interaction
记得的过节 但我真的不记得 I'm supposed to remember, but I don't.
不过 Nevertheless. Oh.
我接受你的道歉 I accept your apology,
我相信我肯定值得这个道歉 which I'm sure I humbly deserve.
走咯 Toodle oo.
好嘞 噢 还要关门 Okay. Oh. Oh, the door.
-走了 -咔嗒 Toodle- oo. Click it.
实话实说 这周阿伯特的师生都不太好过 I'm gonna be honest. This was a rough week at Abbott.
有的时候 作为一名老师 Uh, sometimes, as a teacher,
我们能说的只有这么多 there's only so much you're allowed to say.
但这不意味着你就不能守护 But that doesn't mean that you can't still be there
孩子们了 for your kids.
我记得我在学区里还有点关系 I remembered that I had an in at the district,
她会和董事会的人聊聊 and she's gonna speak to the board
看看能不能不让柯蒂斯停课 and see if she can get Curtis' suspension lifted.
我相信她能搞定的 I'm confident she'll get it done.
她总有办法 She always does.
-谢谢 -事实是 如今人们对药物的态度有所改变 Thank you. The truth is, attitudes change.
作为老师 我们得找到办法 And as teachers, we have to figure out
在不越界的情况下保持开放心态 how to keep an open mind while staying within the bounds.
结果是 And the result is,
有的时候 我们自己也学到了点新东西 sometimes we end up learning something ourselves.
扔掉它吧 你会感觉很好的 You're gonna feel so much better when you just let it go.
扔掉吧 Let it go.
-扔掉 -这就对了 Drop it Good, there you go.
-好了 是吧 -非常好 Okay. See? - Very good.
-很好 -耶 Good job. Yes!
真棒 There you gol
-雅各布 雅各布 雅各布 -做得对 Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Yes. Yes.
不 No!
不 天啊 No! Oh, my God!
-拉他出米 拉他出来 -雅各布 雅各布 别冲动 Get him out! Get him out! Jacob. Jacob. Jacob? Relax.
我拿回来了 I got it!
-不 雅各布 给我 -不 No! Jacob! Give it to mel No!
他们说戒电子烟很容易 我信你个鬼 They say quitting vaping is easy- peasy Total lie.
尼古丁口香糖 我老不小心吞下去 Nicotine gum I kept accidentally swallowing it.
读亚伦·卡尔的《这书能让你戒烟》 Reading Allen Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Smoking, "
我读得睡着了 还梦到抽烟 I was falling asleep and dreaming about smoking.
但反正 我还是找到了一个我觉得能成的办法 Anyway, I have found a solution that I really think is the one.
嘿 你没听禁毒教育的人说吗 Hey, didn't you listen to FA. D. E?
不能带电子烟来学校的 You can't have vape pens in school.
我已经把电子烟埋了 I buried my vape pen.
这是我的呼吸烟 This is my Bref.
没有蒸汽 没有尼古丁 就是自然的空气 No vapor, no nicotine, just real natural air.
我去 竟然能用空气割韭菜 Damn, they got dumbasses paying for air?
我怎么没想到呢 Why didn't I think of that?
韭菜 没有呀 才200刀 Dumbasses? No - Uh, it was only $200.
而且终生质保呢 And it comes with a lifetime guarantee.
等等 Wait.
我确实是个大冤种 I got got.
是就是吧 WeliI'll be.
是就是吧 Well, I'll be.
这空气绝了 This oxygen is bussin