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-大家好 -你好啊 Hello. Hello.
瞧瞧这架势 这是女人得知 Check you out. That's the energy of a woman
自己有没有怀孕之后 才有的松弛感 who just found out she's pregnant or not pregnant.
不 我足松了口气 No, I'm relieved.
50岁一过 能松一口气别提多开心 When you're over 50, relief looks like joy.
我把空置的卧室挂出去了 I put that spare bedroom up for rent.
好像已经找到租客了 Think I already found a tenant.
真希望你不用租出去 Ijust wish you didn't have to do this.
那也是没办法的事 总得多搞点钱吧 Ah, you do what you got to do. I could use the extra money
毕竟我现在要原价在贩售机上买东西了 since I'm paying full price at the vending machine again.
外加我几年之前还做了一个 Plus, I made that terrible financial decision
不那么明智的财务决定 all those years ago.
-离婚吗 -重金下注76人队 Getting divorced? Betting on the Sixers?
我选择当了老师 I became a teacher. Ahh
姑娘 找室友前至少可以试一下 Girl, at least try a passive- income side hustle
找个被动收入的副业吧 before a roommate.
就我们说话这会儿 我的聊天机器人 I got a chat bot writing eulogies
已经为九个人写了悼词 for nine people as we speak.
在网上挂出自己的居住地址 Barbara: I just don't feel good about you
我总觉得不太舒服 giving out your address to strangers online.
太不安全了 It's not safe.
要是他们杀了你怎么办 What if they kill you?
我会没事的 好吧 I'm gonna be fine. Okay?
我用的是假名字和假地址 I used a fake name and a phony address,
我在租房广告上写了“温馨开阔的次卧” and my listing just said "cozy guest suite with a view, "
在同城网这代表“空间逼仄“ which is Craigslist speak for"it's cramped. "
然后跟一个叫莱斯特的书呆子发了邮件 And I e- mailed with this very nice nerd named Lester
他信用不错 语法甚至更好 with great credit and even better grammar.
我觉得这次指定能成 I got a good feeling about this.
各位 听我说 Guys, guys, I think my search
我觉得我找房子的噩梦要结束了 for a new place to live is over.
在见了几个不理想的室友 After some not so ideal meetups
学会了不用真名见面 where I learned to stop using my real name
别在自我介绍处写“热爱拥抱”之后 or list"great hugger" in the About Me section
-我早说过你 -我发现一间 I told you. I have found
温馨开阔的景观次卧 the perfect cozy guest suite with a view.
你就是莱斯特 Lester?
你是米尔德里德 Mildred?
你竟然要跟雅各布一起住了 Barbara: You and Jacob living together is
我知道这是上帝的安排 I know it's God's will,
但他老人家也太幽默了 but he's gotten awfully creative.
好吧 我总不能选那个从不用除臭剂的 Okay. You wanted me to pick the hairless cat breeder
无毛猫饲养员吧 who doesn't believe in deodorant?
等等 是无毛 猫饲养员 Wait, is it the woman that's hairless
还是无毛猫 饲养员 or the cats are hairless?
要不你再找找 Maybe you could just keep looking.
其他地方要么是我预算的两倍 Everywhere else is either twice my budget
要么有3小时的通勤 or a 3- hour commute.
3小时也没那么长啦 I mean, three hours isn't forever.
大家静一下 Hear ye, hear ye.
今天把天家召集起来 是想宣布一个 Um, so I've gathered you all here today to tell you
非常特别的试点（飞行）项目 about a very special pilot program
大家一定会很喜欢的 I think you're gonna be excited about.
我70年代就做过飞行项目 I already did a pilot program in the 70s,
但具体飞到了哪里 或飞机上有什么 but I can't tell you where I flew
我不能说 or what was on the plane.
好吧 这个试点项目 Okay, well, this is a pilot program
是要让图书管理员进校园 to bring librarians into schools,
要从阿伯特小学开始 and we re starting with Abbott.
我打算把当地图书馆学的 I got the idea to bring in local grad students
研究生引入小学校园 in library sciences.
他们可以借此积累工作经验 They get to check off their experience requirements,
我们可以有位真正的图书管理员 多赢 and we get a real librarian. Everybody wins.
尤其是我 但这和我无关 Especially me, which this isn't about.
阿伯特是最适合推行试点的学校 Abbott's the perfect school for this trial,
有这么多位杰出的老师 with its many distinguished teachers
却没有一位图书管理员 and its zero librarians
是啊 Yes.
所以 请大家欢迎我们这位酷酷的 So I'd like to introduce you all to the very cool
罗莎琳·伊内兹女士 新来的图书管理员 Ms. Rosalyn Inez, your new librarian.
谢谢 谢谢大家 Thank you, thank you. This has
这是我多年的梦想 This has been a dream of mine for years.
也是我重回学校的原因 It's actually why I went back to school.
很高兴这个项目终于成真了 Just excited to put this program to work.
又是一位成熟睿智的女人 Another grown woman of substance.
孩子们会喜欢这顶帽子的 And the kids are gonna love that hat.
那帽子下都能藏个复活节火腿了 You could hide an Easter ham under that hat.
我很期待认识 I'm just looking forward to getting to know
你们每一个人 each and every one of you.
欢迎大家踊跃反馈意见 We'll be using the feedback that we get from you all
学区将由此决定 to determine if the district
是否在全市范围内推行该项目 should implement the program all over the city.
一定会的 耶 Which they will. So yay!
好了 在伊内兹女士开工之前 Alright, so before Ms. Inez digs in,
还有谁要提问吗 does anyone have any questions?
有 你们知道雅各布要跟梅丽莎同居了吗 Yeah. Did you know that Jacob is moving in with Melissa?
太疯狂了 对吧 That's crazy. Right?
抱歉 这是俩问题 我的错 Oh, sorry. That's two questions. My bad.
你需要帮忙吗 Oh, you need help?
不了 谢谢你 Uh, no. Thank you.
这是最后一箱了 This is This is the last of them.
我知道 I know.
看起来好重啊 对吧 So that looks heavy, huh?
沉死个人 Brutally.
我做了通心粉 Listen, I made puttanesca,
但我只会做12个人的量 but I only know how to cook for 12,
你要是想吃的话 我给你来一盘 so if you want some, I'll make you a plate.
你必须5分钟之内给我答复 But let me know in the next five minutes,
因为我爱看的节目要开始了 because my show's coming on.
嗯《新泽西娇妻》 Oh, um...Real Housewives of New Jersey"
五分钟后也要开始 is also on in five,
我必须第一时间追更的 and I- I simply must watch it live.
天 我也要看这个 Okay, that's my show.
-不会吧 -是的 No. Yes
-开什么玩笑 -没开 Stop. I will not
因为拍的太好了啊 It's It's a masterpiece.
我必须知道向联调局告发特蕾莎的是谁 I have got to know who called the feds on Teresa.
她自己的狂妄自大呗 The hubris alone.
还有马奇是个什么情况 And what's up with Marge?
说辞一会儿一变 Always changing up her story.
因为她狡猾得 Because she is sneaky.
可怕 As hell.
不知不觉中 你就已经跟一个 Before you know it, you're in a relationship
与你父母一样的人生活在了一起 with someone who is just like your parents.
加里和我爸爸简直一模一样 Gary was a dead- ringer for my dad.
扎克基本上就是我妈妈 And Zach was basically my mom.
开什么玩笑 Are you freaking kidding me?
我最爱酸奶油和洋葱了 I love sour cream and onion.
咸咸的 很好玩 It's so salty and playful.
跟老马奇一样 Both: Like Marge Sr.
天 社会科学已经被你重贴了标签 Okay, you already relabeled the social sciences?
我以为你会用精简版的杜威十进分类法 I thought you would use the abridged DDC,
但这种分类太清晰了吧 but this classification is just so thorough.
-珍妮 你见识过了吗 -当然 Janine, have you seen this yet? Yes, yes.
我还带着自己的第一张借书证 I actually have my very first library card.
还让当地的图书管理员签了名 I got the librarian from my local branch to sign it.
你真是个图书馆迷啊 You are very passionate about libraries.
我就是喜欢一切井井有条的样子 Ijust love how organized everything is.
上周 我光是找一本 Last week, it took me two hours
时间管理的书就花了俩小时 to find a book on time management.
现在再找书 Rosalyn: Well, things are gonna be
可就方便多了 much easier for you to find now.
失陪一下 Excuse me for a second. Mm- hmm.
你好 我帮你办一下借阅手续吧 Oh, hey, I could just check those out for you.
不用了 我只是来拿基本 Oh, no need, I'm just grabbing some books
供孩子阅读课读读 for my children's reading hour,
我这就走 and I'm on my way.
没事 我帮你简化下手续 Well, let me make it easy for you.
这就是我的作用所在啊 It is why I'm here.
你来找我 我帮你办借阅 You come to me, I check out the books
你把书还我 我帮你办归还 you return the books, I put
我会借书 谢谢 I'm familiar with how libraries work. Thank you.
你当然会啦 Of course. Mm.
看起来这本已经被人预定了 Looks like this one's already been reserved,
但我可以把你名字填上下次再借 but I can put your name in to get it next.
好吧 我就借这几本吧 Okay, sure. I'll just take those.
你确定《佩妮上厕所》 And you're sure that"Penny Goes to Potty"
被人预订了吗 has been reserved?
因为 我每次过来都能 Because, I mean, each time I come in here
毫无障碍地取走 我学生很喜欢这本书的 and take it out seamlessly, my students love it.
好吧 这是本参考书 Ooh, and, uh, this one is a reference book.
不能带出图书馆的 That stays in the library.
芭芭拉一直想要这样一位管理员 Aw, Barbara has wanted this for so long
看她多高兴 Look how happy she is.
还有这几本哦 And don t forget these. Oh.
我们必须守住 We're really trying to stick
每次最多借三本的上限 to a checkout limit of three books.
行吧 Fine.
咱们的新任图书管理员太 有序了 Our new librarian is very organized.
哼 我不喜欢 看我的 Yeah. I don't like it. I'll handle it.
你以为自己是学校女王吗 You think you're the queen of the school?
《第五屠宰场》 'Slaughterhouse- Five"?
我上个月才开始读这本的 I started reading this last month,
但还没读到屠宰场 but it disappeared
这本书就消失不见了 before I could get to the part about slaughterhouses.
我查了之前的系统 Well, I checked the previous system,
也就是一份写在餐巾纸上的借阅单 which was just a sign- out sheet on a napkin,
然后找到这个学生 要求他归还 and asked the student to bring it back,
他们照做了 which they did.
你就像个赏金猎人 You're like a bounty hunter for books.
这小子穿的是什么啊 What is that boy wearing?
我得去打趣一下 Ooh, I got a good one.
雅各布 你这衬衫哪来的 Hey, Jacob, where'd you get that shirt from?
是啊 他穿多好看啊 对吧 我早说了吧 Yeah, it looks good on him, right? See? Told ya.
你知道我今天穿它来上班有紧张吗 Can you believe I was nervous to wear it to school today
多亏了梅丽莎早餐时为我鼓劲 until Melissa pumped me up at breakfast?
约翰逊老师 你这双鞋哪来的 Hey, Mr. Johnson, where'd you get those shoes?
废墟山的吗 Crappos?
这里是探索 Now is the time for us to explore
和激发想象力的天堂 and find something that piques our imaginations.
对了 别忘记每人只能借三本 Oh, and don't forget there's a 3- book limit.
-霍华德老师 -你好 Uh, hey, Mrs. Howard. Hello.
你收到那封邮件了吗 Uh, did you get the e- mail with the link
里面有个链接 点开是图书馆的班表 to schedule a time to use the library?
我很久前就开始这么做了 Oh, I've been doing this a long time.
这段时间已经安排给七年级 Um, the seventh- grade class has scheduled time
的一节研究项目课了 to work on a research project,
两个班一起上 and having multiple classes in here
恐怕会让大家分心 is just distracting, I'm afraid.
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
你是在让我学生 Are you asking my students,
我的文字和文学热爱者 my scholars of words and letters,
离开图书馆 to leave the library?
我很乐意帮你们班安排一段 I would be happy to help you schedule a time for your class
能全方位享受图书馆的时间 to have full use of the library,
如果使用谷歌文档时需要我帮忙 and please feel no shame in letting me know
千万不要不好意思告诉我 if you need my help using the Google Doc.
我当然知道谷歌医生是什么 Oh, I know what a Google doctor is.
图书管理员项目进展挺顺利吧 o the librarian program is going well, right?
超顺利 It's great.
伊内兹女士会根据我们班的课程大纲 Ms. Inez has been setting aside books
预留相关书籍 that align with my class's curriculum
我从没见过学生们如此热爱阅读 I mean, I've never seen the kids so excited about reading.
我就知道是个好主意 I knew this was a good idea.
图书馆到了他的管理员 It's like a librarian for the library.
咄 太对了 Duh. You know? Exactly.
芭芭拉 你说咱们的图书馆多棒啊 Oh, hey, Barbara, how great is the library now?
轮船找到了他的船长 A captain for the ship.
可不是吗 珍妮 Oh, it's just great, Janine,
你可以从小脸上看到 as you can see by these tiny little disappointed faces
不让从图书馆借书 他们有多失望 that were not allowed to check books out of the library.
天呐 我 真抱歉 Um...Oh, my God, I'mI'm so sorry.
为什么不让他们借书 Uh, why weren't they allowed to check out books?
因为这个图书馆跟那些新开的时髦餐厅一样 Because the library is booked out
全都订满了 里面那个 like some new hip restaurant with a hostess
高傲无礼的服务员 that has no respect for the patrons
不但漫天要价 还要把你的 that came before they started charging $25
饮料给点燃 to set your drink on fire.
我觉得这个图书馆顷目 Now, I think it's obvious that there needs to be
必须要改一改了 some changes to this library program.
毕竟谁也不想留下消极反馈 Oh, I would hate to leave bad feedback.
嗨 芭芭拉 我就是来问问看 Hey, Barbara. I just wanted to check in
因为你似乎有点不高兴 because you seemed a little upset.
烦扰吧 Perturbed.
这个图书管理员项目如果需要改进 Well, if there's anything I can do to improve
欢迎告诉我 the librarian program, I would love to know.
项目增加了借阅难度 It is adding a level of difficulty that,
往大了说 那就是扼杀了 if anything, is stifling
我的学生对阅读的兴趣 my students' interest in books.
好吧 嗯 Okay. Um.
好的 这个意见我能解决 Alright. That is feedback I can work with.
你的话对我至关重要 Your word holds a ton of weight with me.
谢谢你 珍妮 Thank you, Janine.
不 应该谢谢你 No. Thank you. You know,
我一定不会让塑造我的女人失望 I'm gonna make this work for the woman who molded me.
我本来只是一摊黏土 I was a lump of clay on one of those, um
在那个 你知道就是那个一圈圈 the things that the clay that the clay spins on
-转着的东西上 -陶器轮吗 the clay- spinning The pottery wheel.
对 陶器轮 看 仍在被你塑造 A pottery wheel. See? Still molding.
我这就回去研究怎样才能 I'm going to get back to work and figure out
让孩子们看书更方便 how to make it better for the littles.
瞧好咯 牛仔 Howdy, cowboy.
天 太引起舒适了 Oh! That is so satisfying.
搭建这种小场景 Oh, my gosh, there's just something about
真是太解压了 building a tiny scene.
我真想住在巴黎这家咖啡馆里 I want to live in this Parisian cafe.
需要我把剩下的意大利面打包好 Hey, you want me to pack up the rest of the ziti
你明天拿走当午餐吗 for you to take for lunch tomorrow?
我明天午餐还是自己买吧 Uh, I think I should pick up lunch tomorrow.
雅各布 你要是不喜欢我的意面就直说 Jacob, if you don't like my ziti, just say so,
我这就从窗户跳出去 and I will heave myself out that window.
不是 你有注意到今天约翰逊先生哭了之后 No, no, it's just that...Did you see what happened today
大家的状况吗 with Mr. Johnson when he cried?
我觉得咱俩的友谊打破了某种平衡 I think our friendship is throwing off the dynamics.
今天我吃了一盒写了你名字的饭 Today I ate out of a Tupperware that had your name on it.
约翰逊先生以为我在偷吃你的午餐 And Mr. Johnson thought I was stealing your food,
他以为大家都是这样的 so he decided it was a free- for- all
所以吃了芭芭拉的午餐 and ate Barbara's lunch.
然后芭芭拉变得很暴躁 And then Barbara was so cranky
她喝光了最后一杯咖啡 that she drank the last cup of coffee
也没煮壶新的 导致格雷戈里太累了 without making a new pot, and Gregory was then so tired
忘记关上花园里的水管 that he left the hose on in the garden.
所以孩子们满脚泥泞地 And then that's why the kids tracked
走进了我的教室 all the mud into my classroom.
我去找约翰逊先生擦地 And I went to find Mr. Johnson.
但他还在哭 我只能自己收拾好 But he was still crying, so I had to clean it up myself.
看到了吗 一片大混乱 See? It's- - It's It's chaos.
我觉得咱们就该假装 I think we should just pretend like nothing
-咱俩之间一切如常 -没错 has changed between us. Oh, yeah.
我们得对这段友谊保密 We gotta keep our friendship a secret
我可不想每天擦地 because I cannot be mopping every day.
太对了 Yeah, exactly.
只能为大局牺牲了 It's a sacrifice for the greater good.
也是为了守护住这份美好 It also protects what we have.
接下来我们还有 And now what we have.
2号放松项目 book nook number two.
也可能是我内裤的衬垫 Or could be my panty liners,
让我们一起找出答案吧 but, hey, let's find out together.
哦 原来是 And it is
巴黎圣母院 la Notre- Dame de Paris.
谢谢你 亚马逊尊享 Merci, Amazon Prime.
狼一天都没吃东西了 The wolf hadn't eaten all day. "
芭芭拉的反馈有如神助 Janine: Barbara's feedback is a gift
没有她的反馈 I mean, without it,
我怎么知道项目需要更新呢 I wouldn't have known to update the program.
在她智慧的点化下 我在这个项目中安排出 Her wisdom gave me the idea to cater part of the program
一部分内容 培养小读者的兴趣 specifically to getting pre- readers excited about books.
所以我就吹啊 吹啊 So I'll huff and I'll puff.
我要把你的房子全吹跑 And Ill bllll- ow your house down. "
你觉得咋样 挺酷的吧 What do you think? It's pretty cool, huh?
我觉得她把孩子们搞得太兴奋了 I think she's getting them a little bit too excited.
一个小时后就要午睡了 Nap time is in an hour.
小孩子的日常是一个微妙的平衡 The kindergarten day is a delicate balance
很容易被打乱的 that can be easily upset.
他不能再吹了 "He couldn't puff anymore. "
现在轮到大家了 Now it's your turn.
然后我吹呀 吹呀 Children: And I'll huff and I'll puff
我要把你的房子全吹跑 and I'll blow your house down!
哦不 你们太过分了太过分了 Oh, no, it's too much! It's too much!
我也有同感 I'll say.
霍华德老师 我把房子吹倒了 Mrs. Howard, I blew down the house.
霍华德老师 你怎么读不了这么好 Mrs. Howard, how come you don't read this good?
我也会配音啊 I can do voices.
我擅长许多有趣的声音 I am very adept at many amusing sounds.
看 Watch.
我是一头猪 I am a pig.
我是一只狼 I am a wolf.
我是一个图书管理员 And I am a librarian who thinks
觉得自己可以改变这里的一切 that I can just change everything around here.
我想 Ah, I think uh
我想我还是坐这儿吧 I think I'll sit over here.
那么我就坐这边 离你远点 Well, in that case, I will sit over here away from there.
行吧 看来咱俩的关系就这样了 Yeah. Guess that's just how it is between her and I.
嘿 谁看到握笔矫正器了 Hey, anybody seen the pencil grips?
有人吗 Hello?
行 行吧行吧 Cool. Cool, cool.
不知道这两个人中啥邪了 I don't know what's going on with these two,
但我觉得不妙 but I don't like it.
室友就像 还有心形表情 "Roommates be like..."heart emojis.
你在给雅各布发短信吗 You texting Jacob?
什么 没有 管好你自己的事 What? No. Mind your own business.
不是你想的那样 It's not what you think.
你俩还在斗表情 You're sharing memes.
我和很多人都斗表情 I share memes with a lot of people.
同事之间都会这么干 Yeah, that's common practice between co- workers.
同一间房里的两个人互发哈哈哈哈哈 Two people texting each other LOLs in the same room.
-你们俩是好友 -请别告诉别人 You two are friends. Please don't tell anyone.
我们还没准备好公开关系 We're not ready for people to know.
好吧 但你俩在玩一个危险的游戏 Alright, but this is a dangerous game you're playing.
好了同学们 讲故事时间到 Alright, students, it's story time.
我们能去图书馆吗 Can we go to the library?
不行 亲爱的 这不是我们的时段 No, sweetheart, it's not our scheduled time.
我们喜欢伊内兹女士的配音 We like when Ms. Inez does the voices.
是不是很神奇 你看看这里 Isn't this amazing? Look at this.
不仅增加了图书馆的使用频率 Not only has it increased use of the library,
还让一切都归类明确 更易寻找 I mean, it's made everything way more targeted.
瞧啊 And look.
约翰逊先生还把他以前的棒球卡捐了 Mr. Johnson donated his old baseball cards
让孩子们用它当书签 so the kids could use them as bookmarks.
等等 这是约翰逊先生 Wait, is this Mr. Johnson?
他在黑人联盟打过球吗 Did he play in the Negro Leagues?
注意用语 Watch your mouth.
186页的火爆纯体验 186 pages of pure fire.
我翻太快了 都去找 I was flipping so fast, I had to buy one
街角店的收银员 of those little finger condoms
买那种手指避孕套 off the cashier at the corner store.
霍华德老师和同学们 又来了 Oh, Mrs. Howard and class...again.
嗨 孩子们 Hi, kids.
霍华德老师 日程表上没有你们班的名字啊 Uh, Mrs. Howard, I don't have you all on the schedule,
但我觉得是因为 but I have a feeling it's because
您没有填写在线预约表啊 you didn't fill out the online reservation form
我确实没有 I most certainly did not.
但我们还是出现在了图书馆 Yet here we are in the library
也没世界末日嘛 without a major disaster.
看来这根本不重要 It's almost as if it didn't matter at all.
这样吧 我来应付 You know what? I can handle it.
-对 我会和她谈谈的 -好 Yeah, yeah. I'll talk to her. Yeah.
霍华德老师 ♪Mrs. Howard ♪
我能问问你为什么没填表吗 Um, can I ask why you didn't fill out the form?
珍妮 这是一场毫无意义的兜圈子 Janine, this is a slow waltz to nowhere.
这所学校需要改进的地方 There are a million different improvements
太多了 that this school could use.
为什么不挑个真正有用的做呢 Why not focus on one of those that could really help?
亲爱的 我告诉你 这个没用 Because, sweetheart, this ain't it.
一切都还好吗 Is everything okay?
一切都好 曼尼 Everything is fine, Manny.
我很感激你们的付出 I appreciate what you all do.
这个项日更像是转移注意 This program is more of a distraction
而不是进步 than an improvement
来吧 学生们 我们走 Come along, students, let's go.
再见 Bye.
知道吗 给她点时间适应就好了 You know what? She just needs time.
芭芭拉会想明白的 我们继续推进就好 Barbara will come around. We should just move forward.
如果她真有这种感觉 Well, if that's how she feels,
也与就不能继续推进 there is no moving forward.
-什么 -珍妮 我们必须把 What? Janine, we have to care
老师意见放在心上 about what teachers say.
尤其是像芭芭拉这样资历深厚的老师 Especially ones with as much seniority as Barbara.
这是我们加入学区时的使命宣言 That was our mission statement when we came to the district.
我们倾听老师的需要 绝不忽视他们 We listened to teachers. We don't ignore them.
这就是我们的特殊之处 That's what makes us different.
对 我知道 但这个项目行得通 Yes, I know, but this works.
难道不是吗 你自己看 I mean, doesn't it? Look.
但如果芭芭拉说行不通 那肯定过不了 If Barbara says it doesn't work, then that's gonna go
雷诺兹学监那一关 a long way with Superintendent Reynolds.
他总会找理由拒绝的 And he's always looking for a reason to say no.
你没事吧 怎么像渡鸦看到了幻象一样 You okay? Look like Raven having a vision.
我要关停这个项目了 I'm shutting down the program.
因为并不适用于所有人 It isn't working for everyone.
好吧 Okay. Um
你说所有人是指谁 who's everyone?
项目在低年级中 Well, it hasn't been successful
并不成功 with the early primary grades.
可我跟梅丽莎班都很喜欢啊 Me and Melissa's classes love it.
芭芭拉说他们班行不通 Barbara said it was a failure.
那是因为她不能再为所欲为了 That's because she can't just do whatever she wants anymore.
她只是在生闷气 She's throwing a tantrum.
好吧 但那是芭芭拉啊 Okay, but it's Barbara.
那也不代表她永远正确 Doesn't mean she's always right.
雅各布确实反映 Jacob did say all of his students
他的学生都按时交了作业 turned in their reports on time
得分在80到90分之间 and scored in the 80th to 90th percentile.
那是因为这个项目起作用了 That's because the program is good.
图书馆有一个管理员是件好事 Having a librarian in a library is good.
芭芭拉说是坏事 Barbara is saying it's bad.
那是她错了 She is wrong. Huh.
她只是在占你们关系的便宜 She's just taking advantage of your relationship.
她不会那样做的 She wouldn't do that.
我觉得她不是故意的 I don't think she's doing it intentionally.
但你可能得迈出 But you may have to step outside
珍妮看芭芭拉时的粉色泡泡 of how Barbara is making Janine feel here
看清楚大局 and just look at the big picture.
大局就是 这项目行得通 Big picture is it works Mm- hmm.
但也不重要了 反正也会因为 ...but it doesn't matter because Barbara's feedback
芭芭拉的消极反馈黄掉 is just gonna tank the thing.
我甚至都不敢跟她对质 And I can't even confront her
她可能再也不理我了 because she might not talk to me ever again.
也许这就是你 Well, maybe that's a risk
必须承担的风险 you're just gonna have to take.
有书是很好的 Just books, good,
有图书管理员是 librarians and librarians.
我明白 明白 知道了 I got it, I get...Okay, alright.
明白你在说什么？ what you're saying.
第一个松饼说 这也太可怕了吧 Isn't that terrible? ...says to the first muffin,
天 一个会说话的松饼 "Holy smokes, a talking muffin. "
她在笑别的事 Oh, she was laughing at something else.
她刚听子个超有趣的笑话 She... She heard a really funny joke earlier,
她不是在笑我的笑话 and my joke wasn't even funny.
我的笑话太冒犯了 真丢人 It was It was offensive. Shame on me.
太棒了 丽塔店买二送一的优惠券 Oh, hell yeah. Coupon for two- for- one at Rita's.
我们放学后一起去吧 雅 We should go after school, Ja- -
翰森 你觉得呢 Ohnson. Uh, what do you think?
非常乐意 Oh, I'd love to.
这周过得太难了 该去喝一杯提提神 It's been a rough week. I can use the pick- me- up.
好吧 等等 算了 Okay. Hang on. You know what?
我再也不想演下去了 I'm sick of pretending to be somebody that I'm not.
我本来是要邀请雅各布的 因为我俩是好朋友 I meant to invite Jacob because we're friends,
你们爱怎么想怎么想吧 因为我喜欢这个男人 so you can just deal with it. Because I like this man.
我也喜欢这个女人 是的 我喜欢你 And I like this woman, I do. I like you.
我们喜欢彼此 We like each other.
天那 真是自由了 Oh, man, I feel so free
解脱了 and so, like, relieved.
没错 所以今天放学后 Yeah. So after school today,
我会跟雅各布去喝 I'm gonna go get some passion fruit water ice
百香果冰沙了 with Jacob.
也不知道我为啥抱那么大希望 Why do you get your hopes up
每次总以心碎告终 when it always ends in heartbreak?
行了 你们可以吐槽了 发泄了 Alright, go ahead. Get it out
吐槽什么 Get what out?
为你找到了室友而开心 Glad your roommate situation is working out
我只看好一对儿白人的友谊 The only white- on- white friendship I'm invested in
就是本和杰里（冰激凌品牌） is Ben and Jerry's.
看来阿伯特小学的生态平衡也没那么脆弱 I guess the Abbott ecosystem is stronger than we thought.
你的办公室面谈时间在下周 Your office hour isn't scheduled until next week.
再说 这仅对现任教师开放 Also, it's for current teachers.
恩 我不是为这个来的 Yeah, that's not why I'm here. Hmm
你说图书管理员项目行不通 Um, you said the librarian program isn t working
是的 That's right.
能说清楚哪里行不通吗 And to be clear, what exactly isnft working about it?
项目只对高年级学生有利 It favors the older students
对初级班级没效果 and is ineffective with the primary classes.
珍妮 这会打乱我课堂的节奏 Janine, it upsets the rhythm of my classroom.
好吧 但它在格雷格里班上 Sure, butit s working because it s working
就能行得通 for Gregory's class,
在梅丽莎执上也很有效 and it's working for Melissa's class too.
也深受你们班学生的喜欢 And your kids seem to love it
所以唯一行不通的人是你 SO itjust isn t working for you
我接受这一点 但是 And I accept that, but
这个顶目的重点不是你 this program isn t about you.
我下面要说的话很可怕 也许未来七年 This is terrifying and will haunt my dreams and nightmares
都会让我做噩梦 但是 你错了 for the next seven years, butyou're wrong
我会继续推进这个项日 and Iam moving forward with the program,
所以 你想留下什么反馈都可以 so leave whatever feedback you need to leave.
我会的 That I will do.
我将芭芭拉的意见奉为圭臬 I value Barbara's opinion so much that I forgot
却忘记了 其他人的意见也很重要 that hers isn't the only opinion that matters.
有句话说 只见树木不见森林 Couldn't see the forest for the trees, as they say,
其实 这句话我一直不太懂 which I never fully understood that expression,
因为如果你身在森林 确实只能看到树 because if I'm in the forest, then all Im seeing are trees.
大家对项目的评价都很积极 All the reviews for the program have been great.
但我见你还没点开芭芭拉的评论 But I see that you haven't opened Barbara's review yet.
主题行 Subject line,
我对这项壮志计划的直言见解 "Unvarnished thoughts on a rather ambitious program"
好紧张 好吧 Oh, woof. Okay.
你想让我读出来吗 You want me to just read it?
你总要克服这一关的 You gotta get it out of the way.
你知道吗 7ou know what?
我已下定决心 为这个项目而战 I'm gonna fight for this program no matter what.
所以 你读吧 So, sure.
我把目光移开 Just let me look away.
好吧 这一段你得自己看了 Yeah, youire gonna have to read this one yourself.
好吧 Okay.
我也希望自己能说 "I wish I could say that this program
这个项目阿伯特小学有利 has been a positive addition to Abbott Elementary. "
但光这么说还不够 "But that would be insufficient
因为该项目如果得到 because this program will,
应有的支持和关注 不仅会使现有学生受益 if supported with the care it has been initiated with,
也将对校墙之外的无数学生 have a positive impact on countless students
产生深远影响 far beyond the walls of this school. "
继续读 Keep reading.
没人愿意接受兔子的挑战 "No one would accept the hare's challenge.
直到一个孤独的声音响起 And then a lone voice rose up.
我来跟你赛跑 乌龟说 T'|I race you! 'said the tortoise. "
霍华德老师 可以跟我们一起读吗 Mrs. Howard, would you join us, please?
有这必要吗 Is this necessary?
伊内兹女士伸出了橄榄枝 Whoa, Ms. Inez with the olive branch.
是啊 别被芭芭拉抽着打就行 Yeah. Hopefully Barbara don't hit her with it.
就你 兔子窃笑着说 ™You? said the hare snickering.
嘿嘿 开什么玩笑 Heh, heh. Now, that's a fine joke.
我愿意 I will..."
为啥她要把所有角色都变成牙买加口音 Why did she choose to make all the characters Jamaican?
就让她发挥把 格雷戈里 Just let her cook Gregory
行 我们来赛跑吧 ...line! Shall we race? "
行 我们来赛跑吧 line! Shall we race? "