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好多人都要来参加帕特尔/施莱德的托管结束派对 RSVP's to the Patel/Shred Escrow Closing Party keep rollin' in.
瞧 大家都在热烈庆祝 Oh, people are excited to celebrate
你们不靠谱的财务决定呢 your foolish financial decisions.
你要来吗 Well, are you coming?
你来我们会很高兴的 Cause we'd love to see you there.
我在纠结到底是不去 You know, I'm torn between not going
还是找个蹩脚的借口不去 and making up a lame excuse for not going.
你一定要来 You gotta comel
我自己的搭档都不来 算怎么回事 How's it gonna look if my own partner doesn't show up?
因为我不想掉进 Like I don't wanna plummet
松动的地板摔死行吗 through loose floor boards to my death.
我们得拦停他 对吧 We gotta pull this guy over, right?
所以车上该装警笛 This is why we need a siren.
而不是寒碜的荧光贴纸 Not a stupid fluorescent car decal.
光凭贴纸是拦不住人的 No one's stopping for a decal!
还真是 It's true. -
靠边停车 Pull over!
靠边 Pull over!
把爪子放在我能看见的地方 Hey. Paws where I can see'em.
冒着冒犯你老婆的危险我得问一句 At risk of wildly offending your wife,
你的车为什么是狗在开 why is the dog driving your car?
没事 我有驾照的 It's ok, I have a license.
想进行史上最高难度的自杀吗 To commit the most complicated suicide of all time?
这是一辆无人驾驶汽车 It's a driverless car.
巴尔萨泽就喜欢坐前座 Balthazar just likes the front seat.
当然 这样好控制音响 Of course. Then he can control the stereo.
你可以走了 Here you go.
我们没理由罚你 There is literally nothing we can do,
祝你今天愉快 so have a nice day.
嗯 未来来得悄无声息啊 对吧 Huh. The future really sneaks up on you, huh?
嘿 特里 Hey, Terry.
用干草叉会快很多 That would go a lot faster if you used a pitchfork.
这混蛋拿了我车钥匙 This jerk did something with my car keys.
我都找了一个小时了 I've been off for an hour.
有谁带一条科莫多巨蜥过来吗 Is there a guy bringing in a Komodo dragon?
我只知道他的诨名 博斌迪士 I only got his street name. Perbindish.
我用谷歌翻译查了下 I ran it through Google Translate.
这在阿尔巴尼亚语是“怪物”的意思 It's Albanian for"monster".
取啥名字不好 Why would they call him Monster, Frank?
为啥非要叫怪物 Out of all the names.
我知道你很害怕 I know you're scared,
但还有很多动物正遭遇危险 but there are a lot of animals in jeopardy.
所以 我要是能跟怪物谈谈 So, if I can talk to Monster
也许会知道他的蜥蜴是哪里来 he can tell me where he got his dragon.
顺便说一下 千万别相信谷歌翻译 And by the way, never trust Google Translate.
他一会儿就来 He's coming in later.
我会给你发短信的 I'll text you.
我就知道在这身粘满干草的臭汗之下 I knew there was a hero
你还是个英雄 underneath that straw and flop sweat.
我找到你车钥匙了 Oh, got your car keys.
应该是被它扔出窗外了 I think he chucked them out the window.
王八蛋 You son of a bitch.
大家注意了 Everyone, reminderl
今晚要开大派对 Big shindig tonight
庆祝我们正式结束了房子的托管 cause we've officially closed escrow on the house.
没错 That's right.
时机太完美了 因为我们驱虫队明天到 The timing's perfect because the fumigators are coming tomorrow.
所以赶在今晚庆祝 So we're going off tonight!
没错 Yeah, we arel
快速提醒大家一下 And hey, just a quick heads up,
房子里没有自来水 there's no running water at the house
所以谁要想上厕所 so if you need to use the bathroom
得去街那头的快乐汉堡店 you'll have to go to the Happy Burger down the street
但你需要卖点东西 and you will need to make a purchase.
所以最好两人一组搭伙过去 So just, you know, buddy system, go in pairs.
或者憋着 你们懂的 Or maybe just, you know, hold it.
另外 我们需要冰块 今晚见 Also, we need ice. See you tonight!
自带冰块 Bring your own ice!
今晚见 See you tonight!
嘿 知道吗 你要是能看看旧的学习指南 Hey, you know the odds of passing your citizenship test
就大有可能通过入籍考试 go up if you actually open up the old study guide.
是啊 但要是能钻个空子 Yeah, but I'm gonna find a loop hole
就根本不用费劲儿学习了不是吗 to get me out of all the study.
走捷径和懒惰思维 你已经是个美国人了 Short cuts and laziness. Spoken like a true American.
我想去买些奶酪 I was thinking about getting some cheeses.
这嗖嗖嗖的噪音是怎么回事 What's that swishing noise?
今天是陪巡日 伙计们 It's ride- along day, people!
怎么了 我和你们一起巡逻很有趣的啊 What? It's so fun when I ride with you guys, right?
那你这次打算坐谁的车呢 So uh, who are you thinking about going with?
在你做决定前 我先说下 Not sure whether this factors into your decision
帕特尔晚餐吃了墨西哥菜 but um, Patel had Mexican for dinner.
早餐还吃了中国菜 Also, I had Chinese for breakfast
所以肚里这会儿文化碰撞得超猛烈 so it's like a real clash of cultures down there.
拜托 Come on.
嘿 我还做了个歌单呢 很不错的 Hey, I made a playlist, and it is good.
拜托 我求你了 告诉我们吧 Please, I'm begging you. Just tell us.
好吧 准备好了吗 Ok, um...drumroll.
弗兰克和施莱德 Frank and Shred.
不会吧 Oh, come on!
施莱德 走吧 我们得调整下你的增高座椅 Shred, come on. We gotta move your booster seat.
会很开心的 我们外面见 It'll be great. I'll see you out there.
嘿 我在车上也没那么糟吧 Hey, I'm not that bad in the truck, am I?
你会有点死板耶 You're a bit of a stickler.
什么 我不喜欢这个词 What? I hate that word.
我跟你们一起巡逻的意义 I mean, the whole point of a ride- along
就是确保大家按规定办事 is to make sure you're following protocol.
这是每季度都要考核的 It's a quarterly mandate.
对 但有时候小事不必那么较真 Yeah, it's just sometimes you gotta let the small stuff slide.
但 小错不改会酿成大错 Ooff. That small stuff becomes big stuff.
好吧 Yeah.
-反馈收到 反馈收到 -对吧 - I heard that. I heard that. - Yeah, yeah.
我收到你的反馈了 And I hear you.
我会努力让自己更随和 I will make an effort to be more chill.
好吧 Ok.
我今天真不想让艾米丽坐我们的车 The last thing I need is Emily in the truck today.
因为特里刚收到一条科莫多巨蜥 Terry's got a Komodo dragon coming in.
你跟特里说派对的事了吗 Oh, did you tell Terry about the party?
特里 我那个罪犯线人么 Terry, my criminal informant?
不知为何就忘提派对这事了 Somehow your party did not come up.
好吧 那你邀请他一下 Alright, well, tell him. You know?
人越多越开心 The more, the merrier.
带冰块哈 我们觉得肯定不够用 And bring ice, because I still think we're gonna be low.
艾米丽坐你的车 你不会有事吧 Are you ok with Emily in the truck today?
你应该知道 I mean, you do know
她可能会一身里克古龙水的味道 that she's probably gonna smell like Rick's cologne.
我会没事的 I'll be fine.
我很满意我们现在的关系 We're actually in a really good place.
我们只是朋友 没问题 We're just friends and that's ok.
我现在在跟自己约会 And I'm just dating myself right now,
我觉得自己眼光很不错 and I like my choice in men.
朋友 你已经处于崩溃的边缘了 Wow, you are really beginning to fray at the edges, my friend.
嘿 各位 Hey, guys.
抱歉 我得给脖子贴个创可贴 Sorry, I had to get a Band- Aid for my neck
我刚才嗖嗖嗖走路时 cause I think the collar nicked me
脖子被领囗刮伤了 when I was doing all that swishing.
我坐前排可以吗 Is it cool if I ride up front?
-我们有的选吗 -没有 - Do we have a choice? - No.
我坐在中间 你不用动 I'lI sit in the middle, you don't have to move.
好吧 Alright.
好吧 请便 Well, go right ahead.
我上来了 Just hop in.
好的 Ok.
安全带 Seat belts.
好了 听听看 Ok, check this out.
如果不考试的话 If I can't take the test
还有其他方式可以获得公民身份 there are other ways I can get citizenship.
没错 就是这个思路 我们另辟蹊径 Yes, that's what we need. We need another way.
我可以当翻译啊 I could be an interpreter.
没用的 你口音太重 Nope, not gonna work. Not with that accent.
我有一半时间都听不懂你在说什么 I can't even understand what you're saying half the time.
不可能 No way!
看 我听到的是挪威 国家挪威 See? Right there I heard Norway, like the country.
你这样会引发外交危机的 I mean, that could cause a diplomatic emergency.
8号巡逻车 请回答 Truck 8, please respond.
收到警报 艾佛森体育场有一匹小马脱缰 Report of a loose miniature horse at Everson Stadium.
我天啊 Oh my God.
怎么啦 What?
一匹小马 A tiny horse?
那是艾佛森种马队的吉祥物 That's the mascot for the Everson Small Stallions!
好吧 Ok.
是一支双A球队 The double A team.
然后呢 And?
-小联盟 -什么小联盟 - Minor league. Minor league of...
-棒球啊 -棒球 Baseball. Baseball.
我是棒球迷 Big fan of baseball.
8号巡逻车请回答 不的接话我可以再派别人 Truck 8 respond? I can call someone else if you want.
接接接 我的我的我的 Yeah, yeah! Dibs, dibs, dibs!
8号车接了 Truck 8 has dibs.
没打转向 啊 Ooh, no blinker. Ah.
但这完全没问题 But that is totally fine,
我可以警告教育 放你一马 I can just let you off with a warning.
抱歉啊兄弟们 Ugh, I'm so sorry, you guys.
这个歌单加载不出来 I cannot get this playlist to load.
那我们是不是先收工 你改天再坐我们的车 Awe. Should we just call it and you can come out another day?
哦 对不起 Oh, I'm sorry.
我的腿好像蹭你身上了 Is my leg just rubbing up against you?
一定打扰到你了 That must be so annoying.
我都没注意到 - I hadn't even noticed. -
哦 里克打来的电话 Oh, it's Rick.
虽然上班时间不能接私人电话的 Um, you know, I really shouldn't take personal calls
但转念一想 during work hours, but whatever.
不要紧 我是个随和的人 It's fine. I'm chill.
亲爱的 有事吗 Hey, sweetie. What's up?
哦是吗 You did?
什么 哪个口袋 哦 天 好吧 What? Which pocket? Oh my gosh, ok.
我正看呢 不会吧 你给我留了张便条 I'm looking right now. Ok, did you write me a note?
你也太温柔了 我待会再读 That is so sweet. I'm gonna read this later.
我也爱你 好的 Love you too. Ok. Y. TAYLOR
里克向大家问好 Rick says hi.
真棒呢 我得出去一下 Yeah. Awesome. Uh, I need to get out. R
什么 What?
对 我有点偏头痛 Yeah, I've got a migraine coming on.
疼得难受 你能靠边停车吗 弗兰克 I can feel it so can you just pull over, Frank?
等等 艾米丽还没放歌单 Wait, you've got a headache
你就开始头疼了 before listening to Emily's playlist?
是的 弗兰克 你能先停车吗 Yeah. Frank, could you pull over?
你是发烧了还是咋的了 Do you have a fever or something?
不 就是偏头痛 No, it's just a migraine.
我得呼吸点新鲜空气 你俩先走吧 I gotta get some fresh air. You guys go ahead.
我们不能把你丢在这 We can't just leave you here.
反正离办公室只剩五个街区 We're like five blocks from the office.
弗兰克 你告诉她这是我的老毛病 Frank, tell her. This happens all the time.
对 他的老毛病了 这孩子身体弱 It happens all the time. He's a sick boy.
是啊 毛病 Yep. Sick. Yep.
在这个球场打球一直是我的梦想 I've always dreamed of being on this field.
二年级时我们班在来这儿上了一节户外课 You know, in the second grade my class took a field trip here?
他们让孩子们玩得很尽兴 They let the kids go wild.
朝教练席上吐痰 跑垒 Spit in the dugouts, run around the bases.
但你知道那天谁没来吗 And you know who didn't make it that day?
我好像知道 但似乎应该让你说出来 I think I do but it seems important for you to say- -
那个本该送我过来的拼车司机 The lady who's turn it was to drive carpool.
所以我没能过来 So I didn't make it.
天 这个反转有点惊到我了 That was a twist. I didn't see that coming.
-你好 -你好 Hi. Hi.
什么情况 What've we got?
我们的吉祥物在场内跑丢了 The mascot's loose somewhere in the stadium.
方哥吗 Fungo?
是的 Yeah.
哦 他超狡猾的 Oh, he is wily.
球场还放他出来 让球迷在第七局休息时 They let the fans race him on the warning track
跟他一起赛跑 对吧 during the seventh inning stretch, right?
瞧 就是我热爱美国的原因 See? That is why I love this country.
凌乱骚乱以及混乱 It's just pure chaos.
你没事的 小家伙 You're ok, buddy.
施莱德 - Yo, Shred. - Mm.
听着 艾米丽在吗 Hey, listen man, Emily here?
这是7号车的钥匙 化油器已经修好了 I got the keys for Truck 7. Carburetor's all fixed.
酷 谢谢 Oh, cool. Thanks, Bento.
你们都来汽修站吃午饭呗 Hey, you guys should stop by the Motor Pool for lunch.
我在做烧烤 I'm grilling it up.
是吗 你在开派对 Oh yeah? You're having like a party?
不 就我们几个人 No, just a few of us.
-到时候见 -是的 See you there? - Uh, yeah.
好嘞 一会儿见 Tight. Later, man.
好的吧 Cool.
嘿 本托 啥事 Hey, Bento. What's up?
一个小提醒 Uh, super small thing.
在开车的话 要用免提接电话 If you're driving you should really be on speaker.
弗兰克 哥们儿 Frank, my man.
嘿 我们要去汽修站吃烧烤 Hey, we're grilling at the Motor Pool.
你想过来吗 You wanna come by?
不行的 我和艾米丽在一起 Oh, I can't. I'm with Emily.
收到 秒懂 Copy. Say no more.
等等 这话什么意思 Uh, wait. What does that mean?
你开免提了吗 I'm on speaker?
不仗义 弗兰克 不仗义 Not cool, Frank. Not cool.
好吧 聊得愉快 Ok, great talking to you.
什么 What?
12号车请响应 Truck 12 respond.
这个紧急情况来得真及时 Oh, thank God for animal emergencies.
路边发现一只鹰受伤 Report of an injured hawk on the side of the road,
地址布鲁克赛德大道126号 126 Brookside Drive.
所以 为啥你们吃烧烤不叫我呢 So um, why can't I come to the barbecue?
谁都不喜欢我是吗 Does uh, nobody like me?
不是的 大家欢你 但你是管理层 Oh, no. People like you. It's just that you're management
而午休时 大家喜欢一边吃三明治 and at lunch time they wanna eat their sandwich
一边骂老板 and talk about how stupid their boss is.
-好吧 -不是针对你 Right. Nothing personal.
呃 弗兰克 Oh, um, Frank?
我们在一条繁忙的公路上 We are on a very busy thoroughfare,
按照标准操作流程 需要有人协助疏导交通 so for protocol someone needs to run point on traffic.
天 Oh man.
要是我身边有一个极度注重细节的人就好了 I just wish we knew someone who was alarmingly detail- oriented.
你 你愿意承担这个角色吗 w......would...would you wanna do it?
我愿意 我拿了颗信号弹 Yeah. I would love to. I have a flare.
好了 开始吧 Ok, here we go.
停 Stopl
好的 弗兰克 Ok, Frank.
听到我指令后 你再安全通行 I'm gonna tell you on my count when it's safe to proceed.
五 Five.
四 Four.
-三 -数到三行动 Three. Going on three.
好的 慢慢通过 好的 非常好 Alright, slowly. Ok, that's good. That's good.
该你了 Now you.
你的轮胎没气了 最好去检查一下胎压 Your tires are low, you might wanna get those checked out.
弄好了 I'm done.
等等 真的吗 好快啊 Wait, really? That was so fast.
对 听着喇叭声我动作更快 Yeah, the honking makes me work faster.
哇 Wow.
转念一想 你应该去参加烧烤会 You know what? You should go to that barbecue.
真的吗 Really?
是的 我反应过度了 Yeah, I was overreacting.
我每次救助完受伤鸟类 And whenever I get a wounded bird
都会想吃烤鸡 it makes me crave grilled chicken,
这也太恶心了 That's disgusting.
好吧 我们走吧 Um, yeah. That'd be great! Let's go.
太好了 Great.
还有一个小细节 弗兰克 按照规定 Oh, tiny thing though, Frank, for protocol,
我们得等到信号灯完全熄灭才能离开 we really can't leave until the flare goes all the way out.
帕特尔 你找到他了吗 Hey Patel, any sign of him?
帕特尔 在吗 Patel? Hello?
帕特尔 Patel!
阿半特·帕特尔从教练席上走出来 Amit Patel comes out of the dugout ready to right a wrong
准备改写二年级时的那个错误 that took place in the second grade.
三个垒都有跑手 帕特尔走向本垒板 Bases are jammed. Patel steps up to the plate.
他今年的击球率是785 He's batting 785 on the year.
等等 方哥 等等 我是你的粉丝啊 Wait! Fungo! Wait! Wait, I'm a big fan!
方哥 方哥 Fungo! Fungol
等等 好的 这就对了 方哥 Wait, woah, woah. There you go, Fungo.
看这样多乖 Look at that.
你们抓住他了 而且 你弹得真棒 You caught him. And uh, you're good.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我搭档出丑的时候 I'm always inspired when my partner's
往往是我灵感最爆棚的时候 making a fool of himself.
你知道 我们球队正在招募新的风琴手 You know, uh, the team is looking for a new organist.
我们一会儿有个公开面试 There's actually an open audition later today.
谢谢了 但我已经有工作了 Thank you, but I have a job,
而且大部分工作都是我搭档在做 工作很惬意 and one where my partner does most of the work, so it's ideal,
我也很喜欢 I really love it.
-他逃脱了 -哦 - [Patel He got out. - Oh!
逃脱了 He got out.
这个派对的好玩程度咱们永远都比不上 This party is already way better than ours could ever be.
难以置信 哪个是和牛来着 Unbelievable. Which one's the wagyu?
谁还要烤肉串 Who wants more skewers?
本托 你这派对规模不小啊 Bento, this is not a few people stopping by.
大家倾巢而动 This is like a blowout, man.
是啊 兄弟 Yeah, man.
你把大家喂得这么饱 都没人来我们的托管派对了 Everyone's gonna be too full of meats for our escrow party.
你们都玩得开心我就放心了 I'm glad you guys are having a good time.
我们玩得不开心 No, we're not having a good time.
我们很生气 甚至还有点嫉妒 这酱里放了什么啊 We're angry and we're envious, and what is in this sauce?
你必须尝尝看 You gotta try this.
腌了64小时呢 64- hour marinade.
-64个小时 -是的 64 hours? l- Yeah.
你这派对都计划好几天了吧 Nothing about this is last minute, man.
这玩意儿可催情哈 记得多喝水排出去 It's an aphrodisiac so you might wanna wash it down.
-走吧 -那是帝王蟹腿吗 Come on. Are those king crab legs? !
我的线人报告说来了一条科莫多巨蜥 Hey. My CI says there's a Komodo dragon coming in.
你这个小时得帮我盯着艾米丽 I need you to babysit Emily for an hour.
什么她来了吗 我咋不知道 What? I didn't even know she was here.
她怎么一个人待着 她还好吗 Why is she all alone? Is she ok?
因为她是老板 本不该来这里的 It's because she's the boss. She's not supposed to be here.
所以看着格格不入 It's unnatural.
过去陪陪她 别让她受冷落 Go over there and make her feel welcome.
好吧 不知道你注意到没有 Ok. I don't know if you've noticed
我今天跟她一起时 气氛很奇怪 but I'm having kind of a weird day around her.
我在车里忍住了没失态 I sort of kept it together in the truck
但再来一次就不好说了 but I don't know if I can do it again.
好吧 你要是过去 我就去你的鬼屋派对 Ok, if you go, I'll go to your weird haunted house party.
好吧 我可没求着你去 Well, I don't want you there
除非你哭着喊着要去 unless you're excited to be there.
行 我超想冒着生命危险 一边吃着冷披萨 No, I'm super psyched to risk my life to eat cold pizza
一边憋着尿 跟已经 while holding in my pee
被迫上了一天半的同事继续待在一起 next to people I'm already forced to spend the day with.
我接受 I'll take it.
帕特尔 弗兰克同意加入 Patel! Frank's in!
真棒 Nice!
我有个重大消息 I have a major update.
别插队 No cuts.
好的 所以我又在网上搜了一下 Oh, ok. So I did some more Googling.
原来美国会给在艺术方面 Turns out the United States grants visas to people
有非凡才能 with extraordinary ability in the arts
或向陪同运动员履行其职责的人 or people who accompany an athlete
发放签证 in a performance of his or her duties.
听起来很假 That sounds fake.
-没错 但这是真的 -嗯 It does, but it's real. - Mmhmm.
管风琴就是我的门票 宝贝 And the organ is my ticket, baby!
我要去面试了 I'm gonna audition.
-真的 -真的 - Really? - Yeah.
你去吧 也就是说 Yeah, you are, which means
我有第二次机会跑垒了 that I'm gonna get a second chance to run those bases!
我不能再吃肉了 So no meats for me.
重点不在你好吧 It's not really about you.
那我就吃点海鲈鱼吧 I will take the Branzino.
嘿 你的偏头痛好点没 Hey. How's your migraine?
现在感觉好多了 I'm feeling better now.
抱歉刚才在车上那么奇怪 Sorry I was so weird in the truck,
只不过头痛一发作 我的幽闭恐惧症就上来了 it's just when they come on I get a little claustrophobic.
是啊 你看到弗兰克了吗 Yeah. Have you seen Frank?
还没有 没 你呢 I haven't, uh, no. Have you?
没 所以我才问你呀 你见过他吗 No. That's why I'm asking. Have you seen him?
完全没有 没见过 你呢 Totally. I haven't seen him. Have you?
没有 No.
来吧各位 让这个舞会燥起来吧 Come on, people, let's get this dance party going!
开始了 施莱德 舞会开始了 Here we go, Shred. Dancing's starting.
死板的人会在大白天跳舞吗 Would a stickler dance in the middle of the day?
额 我不太喜欢白天跳舞 所以 Yeah, I'm not really like a daytime dancer, so...
什么 你喜欢啊 我常见你上班时跳舞啊 What? Yes you are. You dance all the time at work.
别害羞 Come on.
弗兰克先走了 他骗了你 Frank left. He lied to you.
什么 What?
他去动物收容所了 我把地址发你 He's at the animal refuge. I'll text you the address.
你别穿好鞋去 Wear shoes you don't care about.
嘿 站住 Heyl Stop!
你怎么在这里 What the hell are you doing?
你怎么在这里 你把我骗的团团转是吧 What the H are you doing? You totally lied to me.
快进来 他要跑了 Get in! He's getting awayl
你说什么呢 What are you talking about?
你现在连安全带都不系了 You're not even buckled right now?
滚进来 Get in!
我一会再找你算账 We're gonna talk about this later.
天 我得系上安全带 转向灯 Oh my gosh I need to put my seat belt on! Signal!
你能回心转意，我很开心 So glad you decided to come back.
风琴手的职位将在你和碧伊之间产生 The organist job is between you and Bea over there.
-嗨 你好吗 -嘿 - Hi, how are you? - Hey.
她是怎么了 好可怕啊 What is up with her? She's terrifying.
她只是想扰乱你心态 好吗 She's just trying to get in your head, ok?
好的 两位过来吧 Alright, come on over.
我想请两位各自演奏几首经典曲目 I'm just gonna have you each play some classics
看看谁会胜出 and uh, we'll see who comes out on top
好吧 两位先上演教科书般的风琴大战 Alright, well that seems like a pretty standard organ duel.
我去看看方哥 I'm gonna go check on Fungo.
有没有适应他的新场地 See if he's settling into his enclosure.
不如先弹一首经典棒球小调吧 Uh, why don't we start with one of the baseball classics,
冲锋 "Charge"?
这个怪物是谁来着 And who's Monster, again?
他是个狠角色 巨蜥就在怪物手里 He's the bad guy. Monster had the dragon.
确定这不是童书里的故事吗 Is this real or is this in a children's book?
这事千真万确 This is very real.
现在开嘲讽大可不必 This is absolutely the wrong time for sarcasm.
我知道 我也有这个毛病 And I know, glass houses.
这家伙已经运营一个走私团伙好几个月了 Now, this guy has a smuggling ring that's been going on
我不禁怀疑他们背后有保护势力 for months, which makes me think that someone's protecting them.
喂 打转向好吧 Oh, blinker, pleasel
你车开的也太野了 And, ok, you're driving like a maniac.
听着 如果真的存在非法动物交易 Listen, if there's an illegal animal ring I wanna stop it
我和你一样会挺身阻止的 just as much as you do.
太好了 但我得先征得我上级的同意 Great! But I have to clear it with my bosses first.
你知道的 这是规矩 You know, protocol.
天 你真的好死板 You're a real stickler, you know.
我讨厌这个词 I hate that word.
等等 我知道一条近路 而且我车技超棒 Hold on. I know a short cut and I'm a great driver.
这是单行道 One- way alley! Car!
我天 你在开玩笑吧 Oh, you gotta be kidding mel
继续按喇叭 巴尔萨泽 Keep honking, Balthazar!
那是只狗吗 Is that a dog?
对 那是巴尔萨泽 Yeah, that's Balthazar.
他要跑了 He's getting away!
这个决定很难做 Well, uh, this isn't an easy decision
不过我宣布 艾佛森种马队的新任风琴师 but the new organist for the Everson Small Stallions
归维多利亚了 is Victoria.
我加入了 加入了 美利坚 美利坚 I'm in! I'm in! Yes! USA! USA!
恭喜 这是规则手册 Congratulations. Here's the rule book.
你要从头到尾学一下 以备主场揭幕战 Please know it backwards and forwards for the home opener.
好吧 不了 我绝对学不会的 Yeah, no. No. There's no way I'm gonna learn that.
但这是岗位要求 Oh, it's a requirement for the job
你需要深入了解比赛流程 You have to be able to understand the flow of the game.
还是不了 抱歉 Yeah, no. I'm sorry.
我真的不太擅长考试和看书 Books and tests and stuff, they don't agree with me.
这是我面试这份工作的唯一原因 That's the only reason I wanted this ridiculous job.
无意冒犯哈 No offense.
坐了30年的板凳 终于走上了赛场 Steps up to the plate after 30 years on the bench.
千钧一发的时刻又压在帕特尔身上 Another high- pressure situation for Patel.
人群安静下来 球稳稳朝中间袭来 The crowd falls quiet. It's right down the middle.
哇 他一记大力击球 Woah, he really got a hold of that onel
球在飞 还在飞 飞到界外球杆外 It's going, going. It's off the foul pole.
还在场内 It's still in play!
对于刚吃了巴西烤肉的帕特尔来说 他拿出了惊人的速度 Patel is surprisingly fast for a man so full of Brazilian meat!
哦 他要到二垒了 Oh, he's rounding second.
他可能没力气打出本垒打 He might not have the gas for an inside- the- park home run.
但能上三垒也一样厉害 But a triple is equally impressive.
他绝对弄伤了脚踝 He definitely hurt his ankle.
等着被老婆骂吧 His wife is gonna be so mad.
好吧 鸡肉三明治根本没人碰 Ok, no one is even touching the chicken parm sandwiches.
当然没人吃 本托把标准拉太高了 Of course not. Bento raised the bar on us.
把我们的东西衬得像牢饭 We're serving prison food.
诶我去 谁把一个白人老太请来了 Excuse me, who invited Betty White?
我们在拉人头 维多利亚 We're trying to get our numbers up, Victoria.
不然派对都办不下去了 This party's on life support.
是啊 Yeah.
我其实不该来的 我应该待在家好好学习 I shouldn't even be here. I should be at home, studying.
不要走 Don't go.
好吧 给我介绍一下你们的首相 Ok, take me through your prime ministers.
我天 Oh God.
每一个 All of them.
你来了 我的搭档来了 各位 You came! My partner came, everybody!
你好 Hello.
这个社区很烂啊 Hey. This is a terrible neighborhood.
我走在人行道上 一个骑自行车的小孩 Some kid on a bike called me his little bitch
叫我小贱人 for walking on the sidewalk.
就那个脖子上有纹身的八岁小孩 The eight year old with the neck tattoo?
对 那是克里斯 他是街区守护者 Yes, that is Chris and he protects the block.
全西雅图的洗手液都不够我洗手的 I'm gonna go find all the hand sanitizer in Seattle.
我们一点洗手液也没有 Well, there's none here, buddy.
嘿 看看你哈 Hey, look at you.
一天参加了两次办公室聚会 Two office parties in one day. Wow.
是啊 但这个派对没本托那个好 I know. This party is not as good as Bento's.
你不用刻意压低声音 Oh, you can say that in a regular voice.
这里比临终关怀医院还压抑 This is more depressing than a hospice.
听着 我刚说我会跟 Um, listen, I told you I was gonna talk
区域主管汇报你的调查 to my regional supervisor about your investigation.
他给我找了一堆借口 So he gave me the runaround,
说这不在我们的管辖范围内 told me that it's out of our jurisdiction,
警察已经在调查了 the police were on it.
他当然这么说 Of course they did.
是啊 但最吊诡的是 Yeah, but I haven't told you the weird part.
我没有主动给我上级打电话 是他打给我的 I never called my supervisor. He called me.
什么 等等 他是怎么知道的 What? Wait. How did he know?
我是被人跟踪了吗 Am I being tailed?
我去哪儿都能看到巴尔萨泽 I keep seeing Balthazar everywhere.
该不会是 You don't think that- -
应该不是那条开车的狗 不是的 I don't think it's the driving dog, no.
但我觉得你挖到有用的了 我也想出份力 But I think you're on to something, and I wanna help.
等等 真的吗 Wait, you do?
讲真 那场追车大战 Honestly, that car chase
是我今年最激动的体验 was the most exciting thing that's happened to me all year.
当然 我们需要表现得 Of course, we'll need to,
低调点 但是 you know, keep it on the down low, but- -
艾米丽·普莱斯 一个藐视规则的英雄 Emily Price, my protocol flouting hero.
我要拍手称奇了 Alright, that's impressive.
好吧 这是好事 Ok, this is great.
我去照顾下特里 Um, I'm gonna go check in with Terry.
他是我们的线人 He's our CI.
我们还有线人 太刺激了吧 We have a CI? That is so exciting.
是啊 告密者最受欢迎了 Yeah. Everybody loves a snitch.
很遗憾今天在车里 I'm bummed I didn't get to hear your playlist
没听到你的歌单 in the truck earlier.
哦 你会很喜欢的 Oh, you would have loved it.
史努比·道格（狗）凯特（猫）·史蒂文斯 I had um, some Sheryl Crow, Snoop Dogg, Cat Stevens,
和狐狸舰队的歌 Fleet Foxes...
哦 我懂了 动物主题 Okay, I think I get it, animal- themed.
-对的 -棒 Yes. Sick.
你想听吗 Do you want to listen to it?
当然想听 Totally. Yeah.
谢谢你 Thank you.
又一次 我孤身一人 Here I go again on my own
-惠特施耐克（白蛇）的歌 -恩 - Whitesnake. - Mmhmm.
沿着我唯一熟悉的路走下去 Down the only road I've ever known.
哦 里克打来的 Um...oh, it's Rick.
对 Um...Yeah.
我得接一下 我没跟他说我来派对了 I should...I didn't tell him I stopped by.
-没问题 -嘿 Yeah. Totally. Hey.
代我向他问好 Tell him I say hi.
非常棒 Sweet.
天呐 你们还下血本买了个氛围机吗 What? Did you guys fork out for a smoke machine?
好有意思啊 This is so fun!
哦不 驱虫队提前一天来了 Oh no, the bug guys came a day early.
是烟熏杀虫 The fumigators!
屏住呼吸 Hold your breath!
遮住眼睛 Cover your eyesl
我去保护鸡肉干酪 I'll get the chicken parm!
我去保护那个老太太 I'll get the old lady!
保护鸡肉干酪 谁去保护鸡肉干酪 Get the parms! Somebody get the parm!
是啊 谢谢你们前来赏光 Yes! Thank you guys so much for coming.
我们之前就来了 We were here earlier.
你们怎么还在开派对 How is this still going on?
有虾供应 跟雷司令是完美搭配 Shrimp's coming around, pairs perfectly with the riesling.
这个派对预算是多少 What is the budget on this thing?
南希 Nancy!
喝雷司令吗 Riesling?
你能来我太高兴了 Thank you so much for coming!
这里好棒 This is fantastic.
一群混蛋 Oh, you bastards!
你们不是说要回家吗 You said you were going home.
是啊 不好意思了 Oh yeah, sorry about that.
我们闻了你派对上的毒气后 We got disoriented when the poison gas
迷失了方向 was released at your party.
赤裸裸的背叛啊 Wow. The betrayal.
我们走吧 施莱德 Let's get out of here, Shred.
我们不需要 We don't need it.
我们不需要 We don't need it!
大家燥起来吧 Everybody, let's go!
别听他的 不要 施莱德 Don't do it. Don't do it, Shred.
来吧 来吧 Come on, come on!
我恨你 本托 Damn you, Bento.